hmph..
So, I have been feeling rather melancholy lately...
Usually during this time of year I am at target or walmart preparing to going back away to school and getting things I need to pack up and whatnot. But now...I don't have to...and it is somewhat depressing. I knew that it would really sink in at this time. All my friends from college are preparing and getting ready to go back and I feel like..."well wait...what about meeee??" A part of me wishes I was going back...but I know that part of my life has ended and it is time to move on. I feel like I am always in a bad mood around my parents, which isn't fair to them...but they are understanding. Everyone at work keep asking me when my last day is...and I'm like...uhh, I'm not...I get to stay at wonderful friendly's, woo...not. I hate my job; I really do. I really hate working for money that I work so hard for and it's based upon asshole people on the amount of tips they leave me. I need a new job desperately. But I feel like with school starting up, I don't want to be starting a new job as well. I'll probably stick it out at friendly's for another month or so and see how things are going and look around for something else when it feels right. I feel like I'm stuck and I hate being there and being a server, hmph. I hate waitressing lol. But I keep telling myself that school will be completed before I know it and I can get a "real" job and be happy. But anyway...
Last night I got really drunk at a party Chris had...almost too drunk and I didn't like it one bit. We went to bed once everyone left and the room was spinning hardcore and I just wanted to pass out. I did luckily...but at around 6:30ish in the morning I woke up so nauseous I had to get up and puke, hmph. I went back to bed still feeling shitty...and I felt very irresponsible because I knew I had work at 10 in the morning...but a part of me felt like I didn't really care how I felt the next day because that's how much I don't care about being there. I felt like crap for most of my morning and I didn't want to get out of bed...me and chris were laying there so comfortably. I can't believe how much I am in love with this kid...it's insane. I am so incredibly happy we started hanging out again after four years of knowing each other, lol. I seriously would have never thought we'd be togetherrr, but I love that we are. :] We've been together for over four months now...and it's exciting and I wonder what the future may bring us. :] I've never been so happy in a relationship in my whole life...and I know that I've said that once before in an entry; I think...but it's so true and I don't know...lol. I love being with him and spending time with him...even if we are doing nothing. I love it...I love himmmm:]
Usually during this time of year I am at target or walmart preparing to going back away to school and getting things I need to pack up and whatnot. But now...I don't have to...and it is somewhat depressing. I knew that it would really sink in at this time. All my friends from college are preparing and getting ready to go back and I feel like..."well wait...what about meeee??" A part of me wishes I was going back...but I know that part of my life has ended and it is time to move on. I feel like I am always in a bad mood around my parents, which isn't fair to them...but they are understanding. Everyone at work keep asking me when my last day is...and I'm like...uhh, I'm not...I get to stay at wonderful friendly's, woo...not. I hate my job; I really do. I really hate working for money that I work so hard for and it's based upon asshole people on the amount of tips they leave me. I need a new job desperately. But I feel like with school starting up, I don't want to be starting a new job as well. I'll probably stick it out at friendly's for another month or so and see how things are going and look around for something else when it feels right. I feel like I'm stuck and I hate being there and being a server, hmph. I hate waitressing lol. But I keep telling myself that school will be completed before I know it and I can get a "real" job and be happy. But anyway...
Last night I got really drunk at a party Chris had...almost too drunk and I didn't like it one bit. We went to bed once everyone left and the room was spinning hardcore and I just wanted to pass out. I did luckily...but at around 6:30ish in the morning I woke up so nauseous I had to get up and puke, hmph. I went back to bed still feeling shitty...and I felt very irresponsible because I knew I had work at 10 in the morning...but a part of me felt like I didn't really care how I felt the next day because that's how much I don't care about being there. I felt like crap for most of my morning and I didn't want to get out of bed...me and chris were laying there so comfortably. I can't believe how much I am in love with this kid...it's insane. I am so incredibly happy we started hanging out again after four years of knowing each other, lol. I seriously would have never thought we'd be togetherrr, but I love that we are. :] We've been together for over four months now...and it's exciting and I wonder what the future may bring us. :] I've never been so happy in a relationship in my whole life...and I know that I've said that once before in an entry; I think...but it's so true and I don't know...lol. I love being with him and spending time with him...even if we are doing nothing. I love it...I love himmmm:]