Happy Valentine's Day!
It's been so long! First off Happy Valentines Day to everyone. If you have a significant other, hope your day was super special. If you're like me and don't have one, well hang in there. Nothing lost on this day. Least nobody was able to NOT get you anything and then try to come up with a lame excuse for it, lol.
So I've been very disgruntled as of late. I don't know what's up really or why but I'm guessing it's the stress of preparing for a deployment. The idea of deploying doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, I'm really kind of looking forward to it. All the stuff we have to do to be ready for it, i.e. the certs and inspections and this and that and the next thing can really wear on ya. Going home from work at around the time you would be ready to go to bed just isn't fun. Seems like there is no time to relax. I mean I had quit smoking and was doing really well with that but lately it seems the only way to be able to stop and collect my thoughts and I don't like that idea. People were treating me (at least, it's how I perceived it) like I just wasn't very smart or couldn't keep up with what they were saying when all I said was I've never done that before but if you show me, then I'll know. It also doesn't help that one person went on leave and another to school and another to another school and they all forgot to pass down what they've been up to so we could continue on or know what people are talking about when asked questions. So chasing down info and being looked down on because I didn't know the answer right off the bat and pretty much being told that we're worthless compared to the ones not here really got to me because I work really hard and I don't like that I really have to prove my worth around here where others don't. I shared these feelings with my chain of command and mentioned how much I don't appreciate it and I think they are taking me seriously because lately I've been seeing some improvement so that's good. This week I've actually not been nearly as flustered but feeling more accomplished than anything. Now I have to make sure I don't treat any of my guys like that because they mentioned, when I was griping about it all, that's how they feel when nobody trusts them but instead treats them like children. Everything seems to be getting better within our work center though so that's a relief.
I put in a leave chit and realized I had to change the dates, so I resubmitted and have been waiting patiently (not really, I've been nagging) for it's approval and return only to find out I had to resubmit with a reason for missing an underway. Let me say we're getting down to the wire on this one so naturally I'm a bit anxious because I really need a break. If I don't get a break, I'm likely to snap. So my chief walked it up for me today and yes I trust he will get it done because he looks out for his people like no other I've seen before. I'm praying that I will know tomorrow. I will be a very angry person for awhile if it gets disapproved. I'll get over it but it will take awhile.
So yeah that's my life for now. Ohhhhhhh. So there's this guy who really likes me and we dated for about three days, all of which I saw him at work and then avoided his calls afterword, and decided to just to break it off. Some of the reasons were I really have issue with dating someone on the ship especially with the recent bout of pregnancies and all the drama with all the other couples onboard. I didn't want to be grouped there. Another reason is I said yes if you can keep a secret but he can't because 4 or 5 people knew within a few days and questioned why I broke up with him so fast. The biggest reason is I never really was attracted to him. I'm attracted to his caring and generous nature but that doesn't supercede all the negative traits I can't stand which includes being way to clingy and insecure. Don't keep asking me if you suck or not and don't ask me over and over during a movie if I'm ok just because I sigh or make a face. If you ask once and I say I'm good, that means I'm good. And don't try to tickle me when I'm obviously not in the mood. Number one I'm not ticklish. Number two, when I'm not in the mood I'm more likely to smack you for not stopping. Oh just so you're not confused, I did make an attempt at the relationship as a test after I made it unofficial again. Finally after deciding I wouldn't be able to handle him whether I cared what people on the ship thought, or not, I told him as much. Get this, because I was "attracted" to him at one point (as I said it was certain traits, not him), he would wait because he was pretty sure I would be attracted again. How desperate can you be??? He's in for a disappointment and I hate to say but I won't feel bad because i warned him ahead of time.
If you think I handled that all wrong, you may be right but it's done and over for me so hopefully I won't have to be blunt and mean to him again so he'll get the point. So THAT'S my life right there, haha. For now, I'm mostly in a good mood, just a little anxious like I said before.
So I've been very disgruntled as of late. I don't know what's up really or why but I'm guessing it's the stress of preparing for a deployment. The idea of deploying doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, I'm really kind of looking forward to it. All the stuff we have to do to be ready for it, i.e. the certs and inspections and this and that and the next thing can really wear on ya. Going home from work at around the time you would be ready to go to bed just isn't fun. Seems like there is no time to relax. I mean I had quit smoking and was doing really well with that but lately it seems the only way to be able to stop and collect my thoughts and I don't like that idea. People were treating me (at least, it's how I perceived it) like I just wasn't very smart or couldn't keep up with what they were saying when all I said was I've never done that before but if you show me, then I'll know. It also doesn't help that one person went on leave and another to school and another to another school and they all forgot to pass down what they've been up to so we could continue on or know what people are talking about when asked questions. So chasing down info and being looked down on because I didn't know the answer right off the bat and pretty much being told that we're worthless compared to the ones not here really got to me because I work really hard and I don't like that I really have to prove my worth around here where others don't. I shared these feelings with my chain of command and mentioned how much I don't appreciate it and I think they are taking me seriously because lately I've been seeing some improvement so that's good. This week I've actually not been nearly as flustered but feeling more accomplished than anything. Now I have to make sure I don't treat any of my guys like that because they mentioned, when I was griping about it all, that's how they feel when nobody trusts them but instead treats them like children. Everything seems to be getting better within our work center though so that's a relief.
I put in a leave chit and realized I had to change the dates, so I resubmitted and have been waiting patiently (not really, I've been nagging) for it's approval and return only to find out I had to resubmit with a reason for missing an underway. Let me say we're getting down to the wire on this one so naturally I'm a bit anxious because I really need a break. If I don't get a break, I'm likely to snap. So my chief walked it up for me today and yes I trust he will get it done because he looks out for his people like no other I've seen before. I'm praying that I will know tomorrow. I will be a very angry person for awhile if it gets disapproved. I'll get over it but it will take awhile.
So yeah that's my life for now. Ohhhhhhh. So there's this guy who really likes me and we dated for about three days, all of which I saw him at work and then avoided his calls afterword, and decided to just to break it off. Some of the reasons were I really have issue with dating someone on the ship especially with the recent bout of pregnancies and all the drama with all the other couples onboard. I didn't want to be grouped there. Another reason is I said yes if you can keep a secret but he can't because 4 or 5 people knew within a few days and questioned why I broke up with him so fast. The biggest reason is I never really was attracted to him. I'm attracted to his caring and generous nature but that doesn't supercede all the negative traits I can't stand which includes being way to clingy and insecure. Don't keep asking me if you suck or not and don't ask me over and over during a movie if I'm ok just because I sigh or make a face. If you ask once and I say I'm good, that means I'm good. And don't try to tickle me when I'm obviously not in the mood. Number one I'm not ticklish. Number two, when I'm not in the mood I'm more likely to smack you for not stopping. Oh just so you're not confused, I did make an attempt at the relationship as a test after I made it unofficial again. Finally after deciding I wouldn't be able to handle him whether I cared what people on the ship thought, or not, I told him as much. Get this, because I was "attracted" to him at one point (as I said it was certain traits, not him), he would wait because he was pretty sure I would be attracted again. How desperate can you be??? He's in for a disappointment and I hate to say but I won't feel bad because i warned him ahead of time.
If you think I handled that all wrong, you may be right but it's done and over for me so hopefully I won't have to be blunt and mean to him again so he'll get the point. So THAT'S my life right there, haha. For now, I'm mostly in a good mood, just a little anxious like I said before.