My Own Worst Enemy
It's seems that I have a knack for getting myself out of trouble. It's like I have a horseshoe up my ass or something. No matter how bleak the situation looks, I always get by, by the skin of my teeth. It's like it all happens for a reason and always ends up in my favor. So you'd think I'd walk around with a perma-smile on my face and be the most optimistic asshole in the world. That's incorrect. I'm probably one of the most, over-analyzing, phobic, anxious people you'd ever met.
You see, Drama sticks to me like dog shit on a shoe. I try my hardest to scrape it off, but the smell still lingers. Even with the whole Luck thing said, I live in constant fear. Fearing the day when Karma will come and slap me in the face. The day I lose at My Favorite Game.
Indecision is going to be my downfall. It's one of my worst faults. I want to live a hundred different lives but have yet to come to terms that I can only have one. I'll think I know what I want and work so hard to obtain it but then change my mind in a blink of an eye. It's like constantly contradicting yourself every minute of the day. I just can't be trusted. This is why so many get hurt being involved with me. Thats the irony....emotionally hurting someone is my least favorite thing to do in the world, but sadly, it's one of the things I unintentionally do best. I wish I could be the one in pain, instead of the one inflicting. It breaks my heart(and others). Everyday is a hard day, having to live with that kind of guilt.
So through realization, I need direction with some self confidence and Hope for good measure. But these things are buried deep inside and I'm the only one who can uncover them. A lot of Soul Searching is in order. It's the only way to save me from My Own Worst Enemy.
You see, Drama sticks to me like dog shit on a shoe. I try my hardest to scrape it off, but the smell still lingers. Even with the whole Luck thing said, I live in constant fear. Fearing the day when Karma will come and slap me in the face. The day I lose at My Favorite Game.
Indecision is going to be my downfall. It's one of my worst faults. I want to live a hundred different lives but have yet to come to terms that I can only have one. I'll think I know what I want and work so hard to obtain it but then change my mind in a blink of an eye. It's like constantly contradicting yourself every minute of the day. I just can't be trusted. This is why so many get hurt being involved with me. Thats the irony....emotionally hurting someone is my least favorite thing to do in the world, but sadly, it's one of the things I unintentionally do best. I wish I could be the one in pain, instead of the one inflicting. It breaks my heart(and others). Everyday is a hard day, having to live with that kind of guilt.
So through realization, I need direction with some self confidence and Hope for good measure. But these things are buried deep inside and I'm the only one who can uncover them. A lot of Soul Searching is in order. It's the only way to save me from My Own Worst Enemy.