it's not me you see / pieces of valentine
Characters: Vincent Valentine [notwhatiwas] and Veld Dragoon [consummateturk]
Location: Veld's Room [Deck 05, 8204]
Date: July 23rd, midday to afternoon.
Rating: PG-13
( and just a song of mine / to keep from burning history )
Location: Veld's Room [Deck 05, 8204]
Date: July 23rd, midday to afternoon.
Rating: PG-13
( and just a song of mine / to keep from burning history )
“This is a long story and I can't really think of a way to shorten it. I apologize.” He took a deep breath and settled himself to the fact that this would probably sound pathetic to Vincent. “Do you remember when you were new to the Turks and I was in assignment in Nibel? I had a weekend sort of fling with the reporter who was there covering the reactors. She loved the place and was considering moving there.” He paused because if Vincent remembered protocol he knew that Veld had six months to properly close a disappearance case. He would then know that Veld spent six months trying to make sense of what happened and gotten nowhere. “I was forced to close your file and about four months after that she contacted me and said we had a little girl together. Felicia was going to be two.”
“I did the right thing and married her. She thought I was head of security for ShinRa.” He had to lie to her because if Veld had told the truth, she wouldn't have handled that. She may have tried to take Felicia from him. Things would have been messy. “She refused to live in Midgar, made things easy.”
“There was a terrorist cell that invaded the area when Felicia was about six. I waited till Laura said they were going to Junon to visit her parents. I the made the call and had the place leveled.” This made Veld's stomach knot a bit even after the years had passed. “She called me five times that morning, to say that Felicia was sick and they were going to wait till the morning. I... didn't pick up the phone till it was too late. When I got there, she was dead and I searched the house for Felicia. Eventually the structure gave way and that's when I lost my arm.”
He ran a hand through his thick hair. “About fifteen years went by before Felicia showed up as the leader of AVALANCHE. By then she was using the name Elfe. One of her people, Fuhito, had implanted Zirconiade into her hand. He lied, telling her it was a support materia. But in reality it was killing her, using her strength to power up Zirconiade, a summon similar to the WEAPON Chaos. He wanted to 'cleanse' the planet.”
“She didn't know who I was when we met, and she was too weak to process. She muttered about how I'd killed her parents, and I didn't bother to correct her. It was then that I went AWOL. The others hid me, helped me along the way. The President wanted me put down for defection but handed the order to Scarlet. Whatever her reasons, I was still standing.” He looked up at Vincent again. “When I found you you weren't making any sense and you were scaring the crap out of Rod. I promised you, you probably don't remember, that I'd get you when I could. That Elfe was dying and time was an issue.
“But then everything blew up and Elfe's friend Sears was killed, she and I were alive by the grace of the gods alone. Tseng hid me and her in Costa del Sol, that's where I work now, Rufus and Tseng agreed enough to fake some credentials. I'm a professor.” He frowned and wondered how much of this Vincent had already known. “Elfe and I are on a first name basis at least. She said that she's forgiven me. It's all I could really ask for.” Better than her hurt and disgust when she'd found out the Truth. It had been an awkward 'Veld, I don't think I'm mad at you anymore'. Veld realized that he missed her horribly, even if she wasn't ever going to return the feeling. He couldn't blame her for it.
“Is that enough detail?” Back to the present. Back to Vincent.
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It was a type of connection he hadn't expected, and couldn't quite wrap his head around.
He did remember the night that Veld found him, clearly as he remembered anything from his days in the coffin. He remembered opening his eyes and looking up out of that horrible stone box, recognition instantaneous for them both even after so many years.
Too late, his mind had hissed. Not real. Nightmare. Too late. It took some time even after Cloud had found him for him to realize it had even actually happened, that it wasn't one of the sleeping delusions wrought to make sure he would never forget everything he'd done, everything he'd lost.
"I remember when you found me. I..."
"There's so much I want to ask you...but it appears it will have to wait."
"I wasn't entirely sure I was even awake." He took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh, raking a hand back through his hair. "Gods, Veld. I'm so sorry."
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Veld knew that they would have. Any of them would have. Veld maintained and traded in favors on many levels and it was part of the reason he'd been alive so long. He took care of his people and rarely asked for anything in return. It ensured that they knew he wasn't going to send them off on idiot missions.
"You don't have anything to apologize for, Vince. It wasn't like you were able to stop it."
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And something clicked, some broken piece of him falling into place.
"It doesn't have to be my fault for me to feel sorry."
If anyone could understand the weight of that sentences, coming from Vincent of all people, it would be Veld. After everything they'd been through here on this ship, and before, everything Vincent had lived through and let his partner live through, he had to understand just how massive that statement was.
Vincent wondered if he'd be able to hold onto it after he changed back.
...The thought of changing back pulled the few remaining vestiges of that smile from his face, deepening his expression.
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Had Vincent not died, maybe the two of them could have patched up their argument. Maybe... Veld didn't want to live in 'what ifs', he knew better.
When Vincent's expression darkened, Veld spoke. He wanted to keep the other man's mind occupied so he wouldn't dwell upon changing back. "Is there anything else you want to know?"
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"I'm still...processing."
He let his hands drop into his lap, lifted both slightly, looked at his open palms. He splayed out the fingers of his left, closed his eyes and took one of those steadying breaths he didn't really need to take like this, let them drop again.
Vincent didn't want to lose all this again. He'd never wanted to change in the first place, much less so horrifically, so drastically--
"What's it like, living in Costa?" He didn't open his eyes or lift his head, and it was obvious that he was just looking for a distraction. "You always fit right in there."
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In Costa he didn't stand out.
Veld laughed. "I'm a history professor, Vince." He shrugged. "I won't like leaving it for Migar again." That prompted a sigh where he leaned back. "I have a house, paid off. Nice garden that Elfe wanted to start trying to tend. She's not bad at it, really. Big bay windows and I rarely run the air. It's... quiet, I think you'd like it."
Then he smirked at Vincent in that knowing way that the two of them used to share on missions. "Though, I think I've created a rather strange new image. I've been called gentle and when I went over weapons, one of my students said she couldn't imagine me holding one."
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"Gentle? That's..." He shook his head slightly and looked away. "Difficult to imagine."
He let out a breath that was almost a sigh, but not quite. "I always hated Costa. Too hot, too bright." Vincent had always tried to avoid missions there like the plague. Veld had loved them, of course, probably because that was the most likely location for his bloodline to have originated.
...Veld was senior partner. This went over poorly, at the time.
Vincent's smile held up better this time, although it did fade a little as he spoke. "Cloud couldn't even get me to go with him during the crisis. If I had..." Now that was a thought.
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Veld then straightened his back and fixed a firm look at his former partner. "Vince, what do you want here? Honestly. What do you want? Don't give me bullshit stories or tell me what you think I want to hear."
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He closed his eyes again and tilted his head back. "Maybe I just want to be be here for a little while." The with you went unsaid. "Maybe..." He trailed off, quiet for another short span, expression deepening, pulling into something far more fitting for the monster's body he'd been forced into after the experiments than the painfull human one he wore now. "Maybe I don't have the kind of answer you want."
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"Don't worry about what other people want, Vince. Just tonight, be honest."
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Even knowing what he knew now, finally learning the whole truth of thirty years ago, it had been a very long time since Vincent thought in terms of what he wanted, since he really and truly allowed himself to be selfish. Everything was done with regard to someone else, every action performed in silent conjunction with something else.
Truth be told, when Veld asked him what he wanted, told him not to worry about those outside influences...Vincent had to take a moment to peel back layers upon layers he'd built up since Nibelheim. He'd gone to Nirvana to keep Lucrecia and Veld from forgetting him as he was, to give Veld a chance to say goodbye to his partner, to feel the difference and prove that one existed to begin with. He'd gotten drunk to loosen his tongue, to create the illusion that he wasn't broken inside, to loosen the locks he'd been forced to place on his emotions, because he hadn't been able to in decades. He'd come to see Veld to let Veld see him, to show him those things and give him that chance he'd gotten from the visit to Nirvana. He'd come back because Veld was here, and Vincent had nowhere else to go.
Working back through the current situation, back further and further still, fighting to pull away the pain and guilt of Sephiroth, Lucrecia, Nibelheim, Chaos and the monsters and everything else, and then he was left with one thing.
And that thing was impossible, so he peeled it back as well.
All he found beneath was a great, gaping hole.
Veld wanted honesty? Vincent could give him that much, at least. "I don't want anything."
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Vincent had no one else to go to. Lucrecia may have rejected him again. It was the only reason Veld could think of that Vincent would be here instead. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but Veld wasn't. He missed Vincent and enjoyed that the other man felt comfortable enough to stay with him.
Or maybe he just felt like Veld could handle it. Veld still couldn't be sure.
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The look he gave Veld was just as sharp as the ex-director had fixed at him, but the moment of silence stretched just too long to be natural, to be comfortable.
He took a deep breath, but didn't look away. "If I told you I'm here because you're here, what would it matter?" His voice was firm, serious, maybe a little strained. "I'm just going to change back in another day anyway; what could it possibly change if I told you I came here because it's where you are?"
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"I'm not going anywhere, Vince."
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"Neither am I." His expression didn't change, still sharp and grim and almost hurt. "But I'm sure that's going to get one of us killed one day."
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