There are things that are dumber than dumb
And I being one of them
I made the mistake of trying to live a life that is rejecting every professional thought or feeling
As if being void of emotions is the way to satisfy and already juxtaposed lifestyle
I claim I am heartless, but the truth is, my heart is too big
I claim being an asshole, but the truth being, I use that to cover up my secret smile
I am lost in this confusion
I fucked up relationships
I cowered down on the bridge of reform
and I even shot the devil in the eye
I scream but no one hears me anymore
I make mistakes and fuck up deeply
I cut what I love until it bleeds no more
I think I should probably give it all up
I think I should probably lose faith in everything that I have ever had faith in
Today, I realized that I should try harder, I should actually give a fuck, that if love does come my way, DO NOT turn my back on it. I am a fool and I am foolish, but I do love, and I do want love, and I do want to be in love. And I have to quit pushing it further than it needs to be. I have a habit of hiding behind a callous heart, of hiding beneath the dark stone of virtuous gratitude of being an idiot, of being a lush, of being a fool. I am more than sorry for the pain I have caused. More than sorry for the debts I have created. More than sorry for the fool I have become. I hate myself everyday, for creating in myself a monster that must be fed, a monster that is scared to die, a monster that wont give up or give in.
Today, I ask forgiveness, Today I ask for your love
Today I ask, will you accept this heart in my hands washed clean with my tears, will you take this?
xxx
I made the mistake of trying to live a life that is rejecting every professional thought or feeling
As if being void of emotions is the way to satisfy and already juxtaposed lifestyle
I claim I am heartless, but the truth is, my heart is too big
I claim being an asshole, but the truth being, I use that to cover up my secret smile
I am lost in this confusion
I fucked up relationships
I cowered down on the bridge of reform
and I even shot the devil in the eye
I scream but no one hears me anymore
I make mistakes and fuck up deeply
I cut what I love until it bleeds no more
I think I should probably give it all up
I think I should probably lose faith in everything that I have ever had faith in
Today, I realized that I should try harder, I should actually give a fuck, that if love does come my way, DO NOT turn my back on it. I am a fool and I am foolish, but I do love, and I do want love, and I do want to be in love. And I have to quit pushing it further than it needs to be. I have a habit of hiding behind a callous heart, of hiding beneath the dark stone of virtuous gratitude of being an idiot, of being a lush, of being a fool. I am more than sorry for the pain I have caused. More than sorry for the debts I have created. More than sorry for the fool I have become. I hate myself everyday, for creating in myself a monster that must be fed, a monster that is scared to die, a monster that wont give up or give in.
Today, I ask forgiveness, Today I ask for your love
Today I ask, will you accept this heart in my hands washed clean with my tears, will you take this?
xxx