A Secret Shared - Chapter 16
Title: A Secret Shared
Author: eleflowerpot
Fandom: Hanson
Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC
Summary: Sequel to ‘A Secret Kept’
Warnings: Some content may be adult
Chapter 16
Louisa’s POV
I saw my words hit him like a thunderbolt, his face paled and his legs crumbled beneath him. He grasped the edge of the bed and sat, his eyes never leaving mine. His mouth was open but he remained silent, as did I. There was nothing I could say, we both knew what my words meant, I was having Taylor’s baby. My tears began to fall as I went over in my mind, for the umpteenth time, how I’d found out. I’d done as he’d asked and gone to the doctors, to appease him without having to lie more than anything. I’d had no intention of opening up to a stranger, I was a very private person, self-conscious and shy. The very idea of telling someone what he’d done… I hadn’t even told Isaac. Yes, he knew what had happened, but he didn’t know the details. Once I’d eventually found myself in the doctors office the reality hit me, I had to be there for a reason. So I’d said I wanted a bit of a health check, concerned that I was tired and not sleeping well, although I already knew the reason for that. He’d rattled on about various causes of fatigue, asking if any of them applied. I’d cited the stresses of 3CG as a possible reason, he’d seemed to agree but had set about taking my blood pressure and wanted to send away some samples of blood and urine just to be sure. I’d left feeling pleased with myself, I could confidently tell Isaac that yes I had been to see the doctor, and I was pretty sure there was nothing wrong with me. I’d always been really healthy, I caught a cold about once a year and that was it. It wasn’t until I got a phone call a few days later asking me to go and discuss the results that I began to worry. Scenarios running through my mind, did I have diabetes, kidney problems…cancer? I’d not told Isaac when he’d rung, I would’ve had to admit that I’d been lying to him before and that wasn’t something I wanted to do. His wrath when he’d discovered I’d known about Taylor and Zac’s relationship had been torture enough. It was actually a relief to find myself in his office once more. At least I would have an answer, rather than having every possible disease running through my mind. I hadn’t been prepared for what he’d said, nothing would ever have prepared me for that.
“Congratulations Mrs Hanson, you’re pregnant!” His voice had been bright and lively. By contrast mine had been meek, quiet, shocked.
“Pregnant?”
“Yes, I’d estimate you’re only about six weeks.” He’d proceeded to droan on then about vitamins and ‘dos and don’ts’. I’d took little in, his words washing over me in a torrent. I’d driven home in a daze, stopping only at the drug store to pick up a test. Even though he’d told me I needed to see the evidence for myself. Once home I’d done the test straight away…and sure enough that little blue line was there.
That was almost a week ago now. I’d avoided talking to Isaac during that time, knowing there was no way I could keep in the weight of my secret if I heard his voice. And yet this wasn’t how I’d wanted to tell him either…
He still hadn’t moved, hadn’t made any effort to speak. I couldn’t blame him. I’d felt mute too. The silence between us was a cavernous mass, one which I didn’t know if I could even attempt to fill.
“Say something…” I prompted, hopeful that he’d make an utterance. Even a tsunami of emotional anger directed at me would be preferable to this unending and unnerving nothingness. Still silence. The longer this went on the more likely I was to start rambling, it was my defence mechanism in awkward situations, to fill the absence of conversation with a cascade of words unrelated to anything but easing my own tensions.
“When are you getting rid?” Finally he spoke. His words came out calm, measured and utterly devoid of any emotion. I sucked in a sharp breath. Get rid? An abortion? How could he…I couldn’t…
*********************************************************************************
Isaac’s POV
Her face dropped, the shock obvious. I didn’t understand, surely she wanted this over as quickly as possible? Why prolong the agony? The quicker this was over the quicker we could try and move on with our lives. I’d made huge steps in my relationship with Taylor over the past weeks. He’d opened up more about his illness, how the pressures of family life along with everything that we experienced as a band had just gotten too much for him. He’d even confessed to having deep rooted feelings for Louisa, something although shocking to hear was completely understandable. But to keep his baby? Is that what she wanted? I couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t…after all the discussions we’d had over the years about having our own family. It’d been Louisa that’d decided that if a child couldn’t biologically be both of ours she didn’t want to have one. I’d been happy to go along with the idea of using a sperm donor, at least then Lou would’ve been able to experience being a mom. She’d decided it wasn’t fair, that I was only suggesting it because it was what I thought she wanted to hear…and she was right. The idea of bringing up a child that wasn’t actually mine was something I knew I’d struggle with. Hell, as the eldest of seven I wasn’t even that bothered about having kids…but I knew that Lou was. Once we’d decided that we weren’t having kids it’d become easier. We had so much more freedom than Taylor and Zac, we weren’t tied down and we liked the spontaneity that it allowed us to have. Well, that was until now.
“You said if a child couldn’t be ours, both of ours then we wouldn’t…” She knew what I meant, I needn’t say more.
“I know…I know what I said…but that was before…” So she was thinking about it.
“It’d be a constant reminder…you’d never be able to move on.” I know I sounded cruel but she needed to understand the consequences of what she was suggesting.
“There’s a life in here,” she splayed her hand on her stomach as she spoke, “A life that’s part of me. And no matter how that life started surely it’s worth the same as any other and deserves a chance? I know what I said, but it’s different now, this is real.” Her eyes were pleading, a look I’d never denied before…until now. I shook my head, stood and made my way to the door of our room.
“Where’re you going?” her voice sounded choked, tears must be falling once more.
“Out.” Was my simple reply.
Author: eleflowerpot
Fandom: Hanson
Pairings: Taylor/ Zac, Isaac/ OFC
Summary: Sequel to ‘A Secret Kept’
Warnings: Some content may be adult
Chapter 16
Louisa’s POV
I saw my words hit him like a thunderbolt, his face paled and his legs crumbled beneath him. He grasped the edge of the bed and sat, his eyes never leaving mine. His mouth was open but he remained silent, as did I. There was nothing I could say, we both knew what my words meant, I was having Taylor’s baby. My tears began to fall as I went over in my mind, for the umpteenth time, how I’d found out. I’d done as he’d asked and gone to the doctors, to appease him without having to lie more than anything. I’d had no intention of opening up to a stranger, I was a very private person, self-conscious and shy. The very idea of telling someone what he’d done… I hadn’t even told Isaac. Yes, he knew what had happened, but he didn’t know the details. Once I’d eventually found myself in the doctors office the reality hit me, I had to be there for a reason. So I’d said I wanted a bit of a health check, concerned that I was tired and not sleeping well, although I already knew the reason for that. He’d rattled on about various causes of fatigue, asking if any of them applied. I’d cited the stresses of 3CG as a possible reason, he’d seemed to agree but had set about taking my blood pressure and wanted to send away some samples of blood and urine just to be sure. I’d left feeling pleased with myself, I could confidently tell Isaac that yes I had been to see the doctor, and I was pretty sure there was nothing wrong with me. I’d always been really healthy, I caught a cold about once a year and that was it. It wasn’t until I got a phone call a few days later asking me to go and discuss the results that I began to worry. Scenarios running through my mind, did I have diabetes, kidney problems…cancer? I’d not told Isaac when he’d rung, I would’ve had to admit that I’d been lying to him before and that wasn’t something I wanted to do. His wrath when he’d discovered I’d known about Taylor and Zac’s relationship had been torture enough. It was actually a relief to find myself in his office once more. At least I would have an answer, rather than having every possible disease running through my mind. I hadn’t been prepared for what he’d said, nothing would ever have prepared me for that.
“Congratulations Mrs Hanson, you’re pregnant!” His voice had been bright and lively. By contrast mine had been meek, quiet, shocked.
“Pregnant?”
“Yes, I’d estimate you’re only about six weeks.” He’d proceeded to droan on then about vitamins and ‘dos and don’ts’. I’d took little in, his words washing over me in a torrent. I’d driven home in a daze, stopping only at the drug store to pick up a test. Even though he’d told me I needed to see the evidence for myself. Once home I’d done the test straight away…and sure enough that little blue line was there.
That was almost a week ago now. I’d avoided talking to Isaac during that time, knowing there was no way I could keep in the weight of my secret if I heard his voice. And yet this wasn’t how I’d wanted to tell him either…
He still hadn’t moved, hadn’t made any effort to speak. I couldn’t blame him. I’d felt mute too. The silence between us was a cavernous mass, one which I didn’t know if I could even attempt to fill.
“Say something…” I prompted, hopeful that he’d make an utterance. Even a tsunami of emotional anger directed at me would be preferable to this unending and unnerving nothingness. Still silence. The longer this went on the more likely I was to start rambling, it was my defence mechanism in awkward situations, to fill the absence of conversation with a cascade of words unrelated to anything but easing my own tensions.
“When are you getting rid?” Finally he spoke. His words came out calm, measured and utterly devoid of any emotion. I sucked in a sharp breath. Get rid? An abortion? How could he…I couldn’t…
*********************************************************************************
Isaac’s POV
Her face dropped, the shock obvious. I didn’t understand, surely she wanted this over as quickly as possible? Why prolong the agony? The quicker this was over the quicker we could try and move on with our lives. I’d made huge steps in my relationship with Taylor over the past weeks. He’d opened up more about his illness, how the pressures of family life along with everything that we experienced as a band had just gotten too much for him. He’d even confessed to having deep rooted feelings for Louisa, something although shocking to hear was completely understandable. But to keep his baby? Is that what she wanted? I couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t…after all the discussions we’d had over the years about having our own family. It’d been Louisa that’d decided that if a child couldn’t biologically be both of ours she didn’t want to have one. I’d been happy to go along with the idea of using a sperm donor, at least then Lou would’ve been able to experience being a mom. She’d decided it wasn’t fair, that I was only suggesting it because it was what I thought she wanted to hear…and she was right. The idea of bringing up a child that wasn’t actually mine was something I knew I’d struggle with. Hell, as the eldest of seven I wasn’t even that bothered about having kids…but I knew that Lou was. Once we’d decided that we weren’t having kids it’d become easier. We had so much more freedom than Taylor and Zac, we weren’t tied down and we liked the spontaneity that it allowed us to have. Well, that was until now.
“You said if a child couldn’t be ours, both of ours then we wouldn’t…” She knew what I meant, I needn’t say more.
“I know…I know what I said…but that was before…” So she was thinking about it.
“It’d be a constant reminder…you’d never be able to move on.” I know I sounded cruel but she needed to understand the consequences of what she was suggesting.
“There’s a life in here,” she splayed her hand on her stomach as she spoke, “A life that’s part of me. And no matter how that life started surely it’s worth the same as any other and deserves a chance? I know what I said, but it’s different now, this is real.” Her eyes were pleading, a look I’d never denied before…until now. I shook my head, stood and made my way to the door of our room.
“Where’re you going?” her voice sounded choked, tears must be falling once more.
“Out.” Was my simple reply.