calm, fitter, healthier and more productive

[eleebelle]

I don't know why I want to do this by myself. maybe I'm just scared and I don't want to look that way. I don't know if I should tell anyone or act like nothing's going on. I don't know what to do, and either I don't want to ask or I don't know who to ask. but also, I don't think I want to talk about it.

and normally I know what I'm gonna do and how I'm gonna get through and that it really won't matter in the end.
but now there are certain possibilities I don't want to entertain. fuck it, I don't know why I brought it up at all; I don't want to talk about it, apparently