how am I supposed to feel? I'll say goodbye.
I got an unexpected message from someone I never thought I would talk to.
"At least promise me this... when I turn 21, you'll buy me a drink." the words floated around in my head when I was finally checking my email from my sister, when I noticed the name below hers. I glanced once then glanced again. Our conversation at 1:27 am. "what?" I looked at and squinted my eyes, Opening it hesitantly.
"little out of the blue but i know your b-day is close at hand and just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."
Wow. He actually remembered. a pinge of guilt hit my stomache. "What do I do?" I whispered outloud. Do I answer or pretend I never got it? Before I knew it, I found myself responding. Just an easy thanks, I'm surprise you remember. Little did I know he responded back with a paragraph: "sorry for being a bit mean to you when we talked on the phone before i worked on your car, i think i just was being mean cause u hurt me. but sorry for being mean back. it just felt good to win, bet that don't make sense at all, just wanted you to know that not all i said was true..."
I always knew I hurt him in some way. Funny thing is I really don't know how to feel anymore about what happened between him and I. I know it was my fault, for playing around with his feelings so much, but I was young... I got scared of commitment. With all the stuff he told me after we broke up.. sleeping with people... that he never truly cared.. only about her, I really don't understand much of it. I don't know the things he really did under it all, or what really happened on his part. All I want to know is the truth, but here I am... Sometimes I cry- I'm paranoid- always afraid of being cheated on-used- not even cared about. I don't want to feel stupid.
I don't know what to do. I want to know what was really true, but I don't want to know you anymore.
part of me believe it's time to just leave it all behind. I'm sorry, but I'm just ready to completely move on, I just don't want to go back to that anymore.
So, tell me where I went wrong
I'm stuck inside a dream long gone
It's hard to reveal the truth
Your love,
Is nothing but a bitter taste
It's better if I walk away,
Away from you
"At least promise me this... when I turn 21, you'll buy me a drink." the words floated around in my head when I was finally checking my email from my sister, when I noticed the name below hers. I glanced once then glanced again. Our conversation at 1:27 am. "what?" I looked at and squinted my eyes, Opening it hesitantly.
"little out of the blue but i know your b-day is close at hand and just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."
Wow. He actually remembered. a pinge of guilt hit my stomache. "What do I do?" I whispered outloud. Do I answer or pretend I never got it? Before I knew it, I found myself responding. Just an easy thanks, I'm surprise you remember. Little did I know he responded back with a paragraph: "sorry for being a bit mean to you when we talked on the phone before i worked on your car, i think i just was being mean cause u hurt me. but sorry for being mean back. it just felt good to win, bet that don't make sense at all, just wanted you to know that not all i said was true..."
I always knew I hurt him in some way. Funny thing is I really don't know how to feel anymore about what happened between him and I. I know it was my fault, for playing around with his feelings so much, but I was young... I got scared of commitment. With all the stuff he told me after we broke up.. sleeping with people... that he never truly cared.. only about her, I really don't understand much of it. I don't know the things he really did under it all, or what really happened on his part. All I want to know is the truth, but here I am... Sometimes I cry- I'm paranoid- always afraid of being cheated on-used- not even cared about. I don't want to feel stupid.
I don't know what to do. I want to know what was really true, but I don't want to know you anymore.
part of me believe it's time to just leave it all behind. I'm sorry, but I'm just ready to completely move on, I just don't want to go back to that anymore.
So, tell me where I went wrong
I'm stuck inside a dream long gone
It's hard to reveal the truth
Your love,
Is nothing but a bitter taste
It's better if I walk away,
Away from you