aquafina, aquafina
"plus, talking about it makes it real"
Felix was really good, even though he did not go on until 2:30. I cannot really dance to that music, but I tried. A really hot girl told me that jose and i were really cute couple. i swear to christ i was almost crying at the discoteque.
but i waited until we got home, at 4:00am. i try to cry silently. so as not to bother him. but i usually fail. i know that this behavior is not good, that it kinda makes him not want to see me. but i assure him that i cry even when he is not there. at night, laying in bed, thinking of him, of us.
i tried to lay it on the line, nearly begged for one more chance. he listened, i will not press for an answer, yet. and he said that none of this was my fault. i never said it was, i replied. but the chance is not for me, it is for us.
he loaded my ipod with music, i hope that he did so out of desire and not acting out some weird guilt he has. see, i project how i do things on to other people.
i feel like writing him a long, flowing letter before i leave for NC.
but i waited until we got home, at 4:00am. i try to cry silently. so as not to bother him. but i usually fail. i know that this behavior is not good, that it kinda makes him not want to see me. but i assure him that i cry even when he is not there. at night, laying in bed, thinking of him, of us.
i tried to lay it on the line, nearly begged for one more chance. he listened, i will not press for an answer, yet. and he said that none of this was my fault. i never said it was, i replied. but the chance is not for me, it is for us.
he loaded my ipod with music, i hope that he did so out of desire and not acting out some weird guilt he has. see, i project how i do things on to other people.
i feel like writing him a long, flowing letter before i leave for NC.