(no subject)
fairy tale endings
for: excheerleader, because she asked for Over-protective!Elle. And it sort of fulfills that. I JUST WENT WITH IT OKAY.
in which: Elle has serious reflection time on how her life became ... whatever this is. BNW verse. Not beta'd.
starring: sort of appearances by Molly (humanmapquest) and thoughts about her Mommy, her Daddy, shrinks, Adam, Sylar & two seconds of John Casey (survived3wars)
Elle likes to pretend.
Not like silly games of dress-up with Molly or flirting with Casey just to make him trip up a step. No, this pretend is the kind of pretend Elle has always played--since the moment her mommy closed her eyes and died until Elle did the same--and even after.
Elle likes to pretend there's nothing wrong. Nothing wrong with her or her life--she even goes as far to pretend she's happy sometimes because someone once told her--probably one of those empty-headed shrinks--that sometimes if you pretend hard enough you start to believe it.
She hasn't started to believe it yet, by the way.
Elle got over waxing poetic about how hard and awful her life was a long time ago--sometime between when Sylar cut her forehead open and now. Now she just knows it's hard and awful because that's what life is. Maybe she claimed to know it before--maybe she should have. But the funny thing about not believing in fairy tale endings? Not believing doesn't mean you don't hope for one.
Sometimes when it's late at night, Elle listens to the sound of Molly sleeping and still does. Still wants one.
She thinks about the shrinks that said she was hooked up all wrong, damaged beyond repair. She thinks about her Daddy's brains sitting in his skull, the disapproving tone staining every word he ever spoke to her. She thinks about the smell of ozone and burnt flesh; she thinks about Adam and the dress she wore the day he took her virginity. She thinks about the memories she can't remember and how Sylar--Gabriel--Sylar gazed down at her with too-dark eyes before slicing through her skin.
She thinks about all of that--all the bullshit and all the pain. All those things she tries to pretend to forget, listening to Molly breathing her little breaths and dreaming about unicorns and rainbows and probably Harry Potter.
She's not sure when wanting that fairy tale ending became wanting to give Molly one instead.
She thinks it'll be easier this way, making Molly happy. Elle's pretty sure no matter how much she pretends, she never had a shot at happiness to begin with. Who wants a cheesy fairy tale ending anyway?
for: excheerleader, because she asked for Over-protective!Elle. And it sort of fulfills that. I JUST WENT WITH IT OKAY.
in which: Elle has serious reflection time on how her life became ... whatever this is. BNW verse. Not beta'd.
starring: sort of appearances by Molly (humanmapquest) and thoughts about her Mommy, her Daddy, shrinks, Adam, Sylar & two seconds of John Casey (survived3wars)
Elle likes to pretend.
Not like silly games of dress-up with Molly or flirting with Casey just to make him trip up a step. No, this pretend is the kind of pretend Elle has always played--since the moment her mommy closed her eyes and died until Elle did the same--and even after.
Elle likes to pretend there's nothing wrong. Nothing wrong with her or her life--she even goes as far to pretend she's happy sometimes because someone once told her--probably one of those empty-headed shrinks--that sometimes if you pretend hard enough you start to believe it.
She hasn't started to believe it yet, by the way.
Elle got over waxing poetic about how hard and awful her life was a long time ago--sometime between when Sylar cut her forehead open and now. Now she just knows it's hard and awful because that's what life is. Maybe she claimed to know it before--maybe she should have. But the funny thing about not believing in fairy tale endings? Not believing doesn't mean you don't hope for one.
Sometimes when it's late at night, Elle listens to the sound of Molly sleeping and still does. Still wants one.
She thinks about the shrinks that said she was hooked up all wrong, damaged beyond repair. She thinks about her Daddy's brains sitting in his skull, the disapproving tone staining every word he ever spoke to her. She thinks about the smell of ozone and burnt flesh; she thinks about Adam and the dress she wore the day he took her virginity. She thinks about the memories she can't remember and how Sylar--Gabriel--Sylar gazed down at her with too-dark eyes before slicing through her skin.
She thinks about all of that--all the bullshit and all the pain. All those things she tries to pretend to forget, listening to Molly breathing her little breaths and dreaming about unicorns and rainbows and probably Harry Potter.
She's not sure when wanting that fairy tale ending became wanting to give Molly one instead.
She thinks it'll be easier this way, making Molly happy. Elle's pretty sure no matter how much she pretends, she never had a shot at happiness to begin with. Who wants a cheesy fairy tale ending anyway?