this was written a week ago
It has been a long time coming that I need to post a blog. I have been under extreme stress as usual with school and getting ready for Miss Exotic World and the Compition
In Vancouver.
It is time though so this will be long. I will begin with my current relationship. Jack and I are doing wonderfully after a very long stressful 7 months. When we first arrived here in California things were really tough for us and we became really distant with each other. Jack is the love of my life, he balances me, he takes care of me in ways I cannot explain. I have learned a lot about myself and relationships since we have moved here. The first major thing that I have been learning over the years and that has become more apparent, is that there will never be a person who will meet everything on my checklist of the perfect companion. I believe that the fantasy world that we live in tells us that there are perfect people out there. People have faults people have past. I am like my mother in the sense that I have really high expectations of a companion. This does not mean I am settling in any way. Jack let his ego get the best of him in a situation where he felt helpless and I was not necessarly so understanding of that. We moved here with the expectation of one thing and something completely different happened. Not to say that it has been all bad because it has not. After a long wait and some time Jack came out of his funk and has become more of a man than I could have ever imagined. He is working towards the future for himself and for us. He is using his artistic talents to take himself further and stronger and we are finally beginning to walk the same path. I knew he had it in himself and now he is shining more than ever.
School….
Is hard…
I am making connections with the right people and working hard to wrap up my proposal for my Master thesis. I am killing myself by making myself have this ready by the end of the summer but it puts me further in my program. I think that I tackled the most difficult part of my personality when it comes to stressful technical situations. I have a tendency to get frustrated really easy and let it show. I am learning to breath and not be so dramatic. My thesis will be incredible and I am anxious to actually start executing it.
Miss Exotic World….
Oh the top of burlesque how I love thee…
Since finals were last week I have been working non stop on my costume. I hand painted flowers on my wedding kimono and glued over 20 thousand rhinestones onto my costume. I have had a lot of help from a few friends of mine. Catherine my look alike little sister bless her heart helped me a little, Jack and his friend Mark helped me too. I am in the airport now waiting to board the plane to vegas and I still have more rhinestones to put on… Saturday is the compition and I am very anxious. I really do not like Vegas or what I remember of it from 9 years ago. Hopefully this will be a better experience than before. I have a lot of support from friends that are coming and support from family in spirit.
My best Friend from my childhood….
This morning Sheila a girlfriend that was in my life from the age of like 4 til I was about 13 or 14 found me. We have not spoken in over 10 years and I have to tell you how complete I feel at this moment. She was a very important person to me in my childhood. Her family was too although a lot has changed I will never forget the memories. I love her so much and am so glad to be reunited…
In Vancouver.
It is time though so this will be long. I will begin with my current relationship. Jack and I are doing wonderfully after a very long stressful 7 months. When we first arrived here in California things were really tough for us and we became really distant with each other. Jack is the love of my life, he balances me, he takes care of me in ways I cannot explain. I have learned a lot about myself and relationships since we have moved here. The first major thing that I have been learning over the years and that has become more apparent, is that there will never be a person who will meet everything on my checklist of the perfect companion. I believe that the fantasy world that we live in tells us that there are perfect people out there. People have faults people have past. I am like my mother in the sense that I have really high expectations of a companion. This does not mean I am settling in any way. Jack let his ego get the best of him in a situation where he felt helpless and I was not necessarly so understanding of that. We moved here with the expectation of one thing and something completely different happened. Not to say that it has been all bad because it has not. After a long wait and some time Jack came out of his funk and has become more of a man than I could have ever imagined. He is working towards the future for himself and for us. He is using his artistic talents to take himself further and stronger and we are finally beginning to walk the same path. I knew he had it in himself and now he is shining more than ever.
School….
Is hard…
I am making connections with the right people and working hard to wrap up my proposal for my Master thesis. I am killing myself by making myself have this ready by the end of the summer but it puts me further in my program. I think that I tackled the most difficult part of my personality when it comes to stressful technical situations. I have a tendency to get frustrated really easy and let it show. I am learning to breath and not be so dramatic. My thesis will be incredible and I am anxious to actually start executing it.
Miss Exotic World….
Oh the top of burlesque how I love thee…
Since finals were last week I have been working non stop on my costume. I hand painted flowers on my wedding kimono and glued over 20 thousand rhinestones onto my costume. I have had a lot of help from a few friends of mine. Catherine my look alike little sister bless her heart helped me a little, Jack and his friend Mark helped me too. I am in the airport now waiting to board the plane to vegas and I still have more rhinestones to put on… Saturday is the compition and I am very anxious. I really do not like Vegas or what I remember of it from 9 years ago. Hopefully this will be a better experience than before. I have a lot of support from friends that are coming and support from family in spirit.
My best Friend from my childhood….
This morning Sheila a girlfriend that was in my life from the age of like 4 til I was about 13 or 14 found me. We have not spoken in over 10 years and I have to tell you how complete I feel at this moment. She was a very important person to me in my childhood. Her family was too although a lot has changed I will never forget the memories. I love her so much and am so glad to be reunited…