When Will the Nightmare Ever End?
love and like are relative terms. how does one know where the liking ends and the love begins? is there a swift change? a shock? fireworks? is it like being splashed with cold water? or is it slow? gradual? like easing yourself into a cold bath?
what if love was always there and you just couldn't see it? you automatically love your parents. do you automatically love someone you like? do you know it's there or does it randomly sneak up on you?
i look at this guy...i feel deeply. i know i could spend a long time with him. we can sit together and not say anything at all. we can joke each other for hours at a time. i can tell him things no one else knows. i love his family. i love his friends. i love his laugh, his smile, his sense of humour, his habits, his quirks. i love his good manners, his calm nature, his compassion and inner peace, his easy-going attitude and love for his family; how he tells his mother how great i am, and she repeats it to me and tells me he's crazy about me. i love how he tells me i'm perfect when he knows i'm not, how he opens doors for me, how he can talk with my brother, how he knows me so well. do i love him? if i do, it's come on so gradually, i haven't noticed. but i look at him sometimes, when he's half asleep or concentrating or laughing...and i think...this could definitely be it. and it doesn't scare me. it feels good to know that he'll be there, if it all works out. it feels pretty right...
wow, i've been away for awhile. not much else has happened except chemistry...ions and protons and elements and experimentation...pointless. i should be an english teacher. i get along so well with all of them. wrestling's finally over. i wouldn't do it all over again, but i more than appreciate the times i've had with it. we're moving to boise this july. i'm going to romania this june, if all works out. i'll be back and forth from india, china and ethiopia for a few years.
and i'll leave this person...this wonderful person whom i've come to know...and love?
what if love was always there and you just couldn't see it? you automatically love your parents. do you automatically love someone you like? do you know it's there or does it randomly sneak up on you?
i look at this guy...i feel deeply. i know i could spend a long time with him. we can sit together and not say anything at all. we can joke each other for hours at a time. i can tell him things no one else knows. i love his family. i love his friends. i love his laugh, his smile, his sense of humour, his habits, his quirks. i love his good manners, his calm nature, his compassion and inner peace, his easy-going attitude and love for his family; how he tells his mother how great i am, and she repeats it to me and tells me he's crazy about me. i love how he tells me i'm perfect when he knows i'm not, how he opens doors for me, how he can talk with my brother, how he knows me so well. do i love him? if i do, it's come on so gradually, i haven't noticed. but i look at him sometimes, when he's half asleep or concentrating or laughing...and i think...this could definitely be it. and it doesn't scare me. it feels good to know that he'll be there, if it all works out. it feels pretty right...
wow, i've been away for awhile. not much else has happened except chemistry...ions and protons and elements and experimentation...pointless. i should be an english teacher. i get along so well with all of them. wrestling's finally over. i wouldn't do it all over again, but i more than appreciate the times i've had with it. we're moving to boise this july. i'm going to romania this june, if all works out. i'll be back and forth from india, china and ethiopia for a few years.
and i'll leave this person...this wonderful person whom i've come to know...and love?