Comments | electrictoad: The Absence Equation

sanjihan in electrictoad

The Absence Equation - Chapter 8

Jul 25, 2010 19:58

Title: The Absence Equation - Chapter 8
Group/Pairings: NewS. Pairings: Koyama/Shige, Massu/Yamapi
Rating: R
Warnings: Violence, cursing, sexual implications.
Words: 2,000
Summary: First try: "The fate of the world as they know it rests in the hands of one Kato Shigeaki. Oh shit." Possibly more coherent try (though it sounds like a lame old- ( Read more... )

c: shige, c: ryo, c: tegoshi, au, c: yamapi, p: massu/yamapi, r: r, #multi-chapter, p: koyama/shige, c: koyama, c: massu

Comments 6

lastingdreams8 July 27 2010, 21:38:55 UTC

I may be really slow, but OMG, Ryo's the other courier!! :D Things just get better and better!

Tegoshi was tucked against Masuda’s side, cradled between him and Koyama
I love how, even in this AU, Tegoshi has magical powers that cause the people around him to love him dearly ^^

sanjihan July 28 2010, 00:28:59 UTC

heehee, surprise again!

LOL. He's Tegoshi! Who COULDN'T love him?! XD

<3

imifumei July 28 2010, 15:41:08 UTC

Dude. I seriously dislike the idea of anyone removing any part of Ryo, no matter why. I like him intact, thank you. The whole "we're lobbing bits of you off and scooping bits of you out and you don't get a say in the matter" thing is very creepy (in a way that totally fits the story).

I love how quiet and nervous everyone clearly is without you having to hammer it home with a ton of description. People's moods seem to filter through the narrative really seamlessly. Pi. . .I want to grab him and hold on and not let him go back. Massu. . .I want to grab him and hold on and tell him he can relax and not have to be strong. Tegs. . .I want to grab him and hold on and make sure he takes it easy and feed him tea and toast. KoyaShige. . . I just want to grab them and hold on.

sanjihan July 28 2010, 18:30:14 UTC

I am uncomfortable with it as well. Even when someone is willing, it's a bit uncomfortable, but when he isn't and has no choice, it's totally like rape (which I likened it to later, as you know.)

People's moods seem to filter through the narrative really seamlessly.
I really want to hug you right now for that comment. I worked SO hard on that and was scared that it didn't work at all.

beltenebra July 29 2010, 17:51:05 UTC

sandwiched between Hans and Frans, as he’d decided to call the apparent mutes. HEH. Are they going to pump (clap) him up?

Oh man, the section with Ryo in the clinic was perfect! It read so much like Gibson. I really liked his aversion to and unease with the surgery. The whole sequence gave me chills.

“Do you remember wh-“

Tegoshi sat forward suddenly and grabbed Shige’s hand, causing Shige to gasp in surprise. “Did we get it?” he asked earnestly.

Prioritys, please, sensei!

This continues to be amazing. You’re doing an incredible job integrating the characters and the plot, incorporating their moods right into the action. <3

sanjihan July 29 2010, 22:34:50 UTC

*snorts* I love you.

Awesome. :D That makes me feel good. XD

And yes, lol. Tegoshi knows what's important here, and, for once, it's not him. ;)

*hugs*