My Best Friend's Boy (part 1)
Title: My Best Friend’s Boy (part 1)
Pairing/Group: Koyama/Tegoshi, Koyama/Shige
Rating: PG for sexual references
Words: 13,600
Warnings: Not really a warning, just letting you know there is no cheating involved.
Notes: This is Team I Feel Your Rubbing's (myself and bananyphophany) submission for 2010 je_devilorangel. Originally posted here (part 1) and here (part 2). Thank you, Cait, for writing this with me even if you made me do all the work. XD Just kidding. ;) Who else would write a KoyaTego with me? I'm grateful. I really had an amazing time doing this with you and am looking forward to our next collaboration... XD <3 <3 <3
Summary: Shige had never believed in “love at first sight” until the day it happened to him. He just wished it hadn’t been with his best friend’s boyfriend.
Part 1 | Part 2
Summer rolled around again in all its varied glory - days so hot all you could do was laze in front of an open window, fan trained on your sweaty skin, and dream of mountains of ice; days so bright all you wanted was to take to the beach and run across burning sand to jump into deep blue waves and be blinded by the sun shimmering brokenly off its surface; days so perfect with just the right heat and sun and breeze that you felt lucky to be alive and went for celebratory ice cream in the park. But summer always brought thoughts of Koyama - sweat slicking bits of his hair against his face as he half-ran, laughing, after Tegoshi; beautiful, lean, golden body stretched out across the sand, wet hair carelessly pushed to the side as he basked in the sun; fingers tangled with Tegoshi’s and a sweet smile just before Tegoshi smooshed soft-serve against his lips and laughed as Koyama pushed away the cone and pulled Tegoshi in to help clean him up. Shige had wanted that to be him. Oh how.
He was angry at himself, still, that Koyama had such an effect on him even after two years of no contact. When Tegoshi and Koyama had broken up, Shige had wanted to continue their friendship, had wanted more, of course. But there was that iffy question of when it was okay, if it was okay, to date your best friend’s ex. The indecision of what he wanted and how to get it, if he could get it drew on. So the weeks of no contact had turned to months until he became upset with Koyama. Hadn’t they been friends, too? Why didn’t Koyama contact him? Maybe without Tegoshi there was nothing Shige could offer him. Still, all during the summer he’d think of getting on the train out to Sobudai and surprising Koyama at the restaurant, confessing, a million other things he’d wanted so desperately - but ultimately he would abandon the idea, pushing it back the furthest recesses of his heart and half-heartedly hoping for winter. Because, now, summer always meant Koyama.
~*~
It was early July and the temperature was more appropriate for mid-August, sweltering heat making the air wrinkle and sending trickles of sweat down his back. He looked at his watch. Late again. Damnit. He fanned himself carefully with a flyer he’d absently accepted on the way. He’d been kind of irritated when he realized, but he was grateful now. He tapped his foot and checked his watch again. When he looked up, he could see Tegoshi, wide smile on his face, dragging another man behind him. Tall, rail-thin, dark-haired, small-eyed, mouth open with laughter, his eyes crinkled nearly closed and Shige realized he was holding his breath.
“Shige!” Tegoshi called and stopped in front of him.
“Late,” he grunted, tearing his eyes away from the tall man to focus on Tegoshi.
“I know. I got lost.”
“I wrote you out the directions! There was a map!” He tried to keep his eyes off the stranger. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend or what? I know you have manners. Somewhere.”
Tegoshi laughed. “He’s not my friend. He’s my boyfriend.”
Shige felt his heart plummet.
“Shige, this is Koyama Keiichiro. Kei-chan, Kato Shigeaki, but you can call him Shige. Everyone else does.”
“You little…” he cut himself off as Koyama bowed.
“Nice to meet you.”
Shige flushed, fanned himself harder and returned the action. “Yeah. Nice to meet you, too.”
“Why are we still outside? It’s hot,” Tegoshi complained.
“You…” and Koyama was grinning at him knowingly and following his petite boyfriend through the doors.
Shige stared forlornly after them, forgetting he was meant to be going too until Tegoshi turned around and gave him a strange look. He hurried in, head down and cheeks flushing brighter still when he realized that Koyama was laughing at him. It was gentle laughter, not malicious at all, but it still made Shige feel like an idiot.
“The heat must have addled Shige’s brains,” Tegoshi was saying as he clung to Koyama’s arm, rubbing small circles on Koyama’s wrist with his thumb, and Shige was so busy trying not to look that he didn’t even think to come up with a retort.
He spent the rest of the entire outing trying to keep his eyes off them. It wasn’t that they were blatantly affectionate with one another, just little brushes of the hand and bumping shoulders, but with the way it made Shige’s gut twist, they may as well have had their tongues down each other’s throats.
He tried to make eye contact and conversation with Koyama, pretending he couldn’t see that Tegoshi had his hand on his thigh under the table, and instead focused on Koyama’s warm, nasal tone or how he giggled whenever Shige said something particularly amusing.
“It really must have addled his brains,” Tegoshi told Koyama, cocking his head as he looked at Shige. “He’s never this quiet.”
Maybe it had, he thought, because he sure as hell couldn’t seem to focus, thoughts skittering across his mind and falling off the other end before they had a chance to detour to his mouth. God. This was so wrong. He cleared his throat nervously.
“Shige!” Tegoshi kicked him under the table.
“Hnn.” He glared back. “What?”
“I said, let’s go over to the park. I want to walk.”
“You’re not going to want to for long, Mr. ‘Why are we still outside? It’s hot.’”
“Kei-chan will buy me ice cream,” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, okay.” He moved to get out his wallet, as did Koyama, and noticed that Tegoshi didn’t budge. Somehow he wasn’t at all surprised the Tegoshi was the girl in this.
He walked with them to the park and the oppressive heat was a little more endurable under the shade of the trees even if the weird, sick feeling in his gut as he watched Tegoshi swing his and Koyama’s linked hands between them, just ahead of him, wasn’t.
Tegoshi really did get an ice cream in the end as well, and between him feeding Koyama small bites of it and Koyama dabbing Tegoshi’s face with a serviette when he managed to smear some around his mouth, Shige couldn’t take it anymore.
“I think I might head home.” He stood abruptly, startling the other two. “I should really be studying for my end of semester exams.”
“So soon?” Koyama sounded genuinely sorry to see him go. “Well, it was nice to meet you.”
“I’ll see you later tonight.” Tegoshi said. And then, as though rubbing it in, his eyes flicked towards Koyama with a mischievous sparkle in them. “Well, probably.”
Shige tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted into a knot and forced himself to say goodbye with a smile that lasted until the moment he turned to leave.
He had actually had some intention of studying when he got back home, but once he was there, Shige realized he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was filled up with thoughts of nothing but Koyama. He found himself wondering how long it would be before Tegoshi started bringing Koyama back home, cuddling with him on the couch, kissing him when he thought Shige wasn’t looking, or, knowing Tegoshi, even when he was…
He shut his book with a snap and pushed it across the table. Obviously studying wasn’t going to help him clear his head. Ridiculous, of course. He barely even knew the man. And yet, he’d felt his heart rise into his throat when he’d seen him, before he’d known that he was Tegoshi’s boyfriend. That he hadn’t known made him feel a little better about the whole thing, regardless of the ridiculousness of this ‘love at first sight’ crap. Well. He stood and grabbed his phone and wallet. There was no point in thinking about it. He’d never believed in it before, and he wouldn’t believe in it now. He must just be stressed over finals. He would go buy things to make dinner, something extra complicated to occupy his mind until it got over this hump.
Tegoshi came home around six to find Shige in the kitchen just pulling crème brulee out of the oven and testing its jiggle.
“Shige,” he said suspiciously, leaning against the wall. “What’s this?”
Satisfied with the dessert, Shige took the ramekins out of their water bath and set them aside to cool before turning to the side and rolling out a pre-made puff pastry.
“Beef Wellington with a green peppercorn sauce, roasted new potatoes with garlic butter, and steamed broccoli. Crème brulee.”
“That… sounds delicious but not what I meant. Did something happen?”
Shige focused on rolling the prosciutto-wrapped beef up in the pastry, brushing egg wash over the edges and carefully pressing them together. “No.”
“Hmmm…” Shige could tell he wanted to press him, but he didn’t. “How long until dinner?”
“An hour,” he replied, sliding the baking sheet into the oven.
They sat down approximately an hour later, Tegoshi shoveling his food down and complimenting Shige between bites. Shige, half wanting to ask why he was back so early, and half not wanting Tegoshi to talk about Koyama at all, didn’t have the heart to tell him not to speak with his mouth full. In the end, he didn’t have to decide which option he preferred, because Tegoshi, fed up with Shige’s lack of conversation, started to fill him in on everything that had happened from the moment he’d left them, to the moment Tegoshi had stepped in the door.
“I was going to go home with Kei-chan, but then he got a call from his mom saying that one of the staff at the ramen shop was sick… oh, Kei-chan’s mom owns a ramen shop, by the way… and she asked him to come in and help, so I came back.” He paused to put a potato in his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. “The ramen there is really good, by the way. And I’m fussy about ramen. You should come there with us sometime and try it.”
Shige grunted noncommittally around a mouthful of food to avoid having to answer properly.
Tegoshi looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then asked, “Do you like Kei-chan, Shige?”
Shige almost choked. “I… what?”
“Well.” Tegoshi cocked his head, leaning it on a fist. “You left really quickly today, even though you’re the one who invited me out. I was worried that maybe you didn’t like him.”
"How could I not like him?" he finally asked, slicing off a bite of the meat and holding it up and waving it around a little with a frown. "I don't even know him. But he seems nice enough, I guess." He took his bite.
“Good!” Tegoshi grinned at him. “Because I really like him and I really wanted you to as well.”
Shige grunted and swallowed. “I didn’t know you cared,” he said sweetly.
~*~
Shige was spared having to see Koyama again for three weeks, so busy studying that even Tegoshi wouldn’t bother him for fear of facing his wrath. For the most part, both of them studied quietly in their own rooms or sprawled out over various pieces of furniture and it was almost like nothing had happened.
He’d actually managed to nearly forget about Koyama’s existence, so caught up in his work that it came as a shock when the gangly man showed up on their doorstep with a full grocery bag and a grin.
“H-hello,” Shige said. “Um.”
“Who is it, Shige?” he heard Tegoshi call from his room.
Koyama held his finger to his lips and winked conspiratorially.
“Uh. No one. Wrong apartment.”
He let Koyama inside, shutting the door behind him and guiding him into the kitchen so he could set the bag down. Koyama moved through the apartment like a cat, graceful and completely silent, and Shige snuck glances at his long legs as they carried him around the kitchen.
He had to hold back a violent shiver when Koyama leant into him and whispered into the shell of his ear, "Show me where Tego is?"
Shige felt like a horrible person for wanting to grab Koyama and bridge the gap between their bodies, reminding himself that this was his best friend's boyfriend and that he should certainly not be entertaining thoughts of holding him. He forced himself to step away casually.
"This way,” he mouthed, leading Koyama to just outside Tegoshi's door.
He stayed for just long enough to see Koyama creep over to Tegoshi and cover his eyes from behind, before he silently pulled the door shut, not sure he wanted to watch anything that might follow.
"That's not funny, Shige. I'm busy," he heard Tegoshi say primly, followed by a brief moment of silence, which was then shattered when he shrieked, "Kei-chan!" in a voice loud enough the wake the dead.
Of course, Shige's attempt to avoid viewing any potential situations he may not have wanted to see was ruined when Tegoshi burst out of his room with Koyama in tow to announce, "Kei-chan came to make us dinner, Shige!"
After a few minutes, Koyama convinced Tegoshi to study in his room like he had been doing. “Won’t I be too distracting?” he asked slyly, nudging Tegoshi toward his room.
Tegoshi looked up at him through lowered lashes and smiled and Koyama laughed low and touched his fingers to Tegoshi’s chin and kissed him lightly before pushing him away.
“I’ll tell you when it’s ready.”
Shige watched from his position on the couch and grimaced. When Koyama started to move around in the kitchen, quietly opening drawers, Shige asked gruffly, “Need help finding anything?”
“Oh, no. That’s all right. You need to study,” he said with a smile. “Am I being too loud, though?” he asked, frowning a bit. “I’ll try to be more quiet.”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
He watched Koyama for a few more minutes, the way his forehead crinkled when he was concentrating, the smooth way he moved around in the kitchen despite being unfamiliar with it. Finally, he sighed and stood. He needed to take this to his room or he’d never get anything done. He interrupted Koyama’s work to get a glass of water.
The water, that had been necessary, he thought as he closed the door to his room. The way he’d brushed their shoulders together, cutting his turn just a little too close… that hadn’t been.
Shige buried himself in his books, trying to push images of Koyama out of his head and replace them with facts and dates, managing to concentrate significantly better than he'd assumed he would. He lost track of time and was surprised when Tegoshi knocked on his door and came in to fetch him, telling him that Koyama said dinner was ready.
Shige was still quiet as they ate together, but at least this time he was able to compliment Koyama on his cooking and hold a brief conversation about it. He even managed to get a smile out of him, but felt guilty and pathetic when it made his stomach twist and heart throb.
When they'd all finished, Koyama offered to clean up for them after them as well, but Tegoshi insisted he at least help with that. Shige stayed at the table, feeling awkward and watching the two of them at the sink together, bumping elbows and looking like the very definition of domesticity.
He excused himself and retired to his room again to escape the scene, diving back into the piles of books and academic jargon and forcing himself not to think about how he wished it had been him next to Koyama, washing dishes and scrubbing pots.
Half an hour later, his concentration was broken by a soft thump outside his door, followed by Tegoshi's familiar giggle.
"I'm supposed to be here to free you up, not distract you," Koyama's voice filtered softly through his door.
"You did, I studied while you were cooking," Tegoshi's slightly less hushed voice followed. "And I studied all day before that too. Shouldn't I get a reward now?"
Shige heard Tegoshi's door close and he swallowed, unsure of what to do. He could stay in here and hope they didn't get up to anything too loud, but knowing Tegoshi, the chances of that were pretty slim. He wished his ipod headphones hadn't broken the other day, because he could really have done with a working pair right now.
Instead, he grabbed a couple of books and a pencil and retired to the kitchen table, the furthest he could get from Tegoshi's room without actually leaving the apartment. The deathly quiet that ensued was actually worse because he found himself straining to listen, finally giving up with a sigh and reaching for his keys and walking out the door.
The night offered a slight reprieve from the heat, but not the humidity. But there was a decent breeze and he found himself relaxing as he walked, his first real moments of peace in three weeks outside sleep that was often troubled by stress-induced dreams, anyway. He forced himself to stop thinking for once, focusing on putting one foot down and then the next. When he finally came back to focus on his surroundings, he was about half an hour from home and he refused to let himself get stressed about it as he turned and slowly made his way back.
Only then, turning back, did he allow himself to tentatively think about Koyama. He could not understand his instant attraction to this man. He barely knew him, only knew that he seemed kind, and doted on Tegoshi, was devoted to his family. He didn’t try to deny it, anymore, just gently pushed it away. He could still feel it shimmering on the edges of his heart, and it hurt a little, the incessant fluttering, but what could he do? It would fade. These things always did.
~*~
Shige stood at the sink doing dishes. He was on duty tonight because Koyama had cooked and Tegoshi had "helped" and thus wriggled out of any responsibility at all. Koyama had tried to help but Tegoshi had latched on to his arm and dragged him to the couch, snuggling against him so he couldn't get up.
"It's okay, Kei-chan. You cooked. And Shige likes doing dishes anyway."
Shige raised his eyebrow but deigned not to comment and Koyama grinned sardonically at him.
A few moments later Tegoshi spoke and Shige could hear the pout. "I miss summer already."
How can you?, Shige thought, you're holding it in your arms. Then he blushed and looked down, scrubbing furiously at the pan.
"I have an idea," Koyama said, and Shige glanced up to see the warm, doting smile. So spoiled.
The October night air was cool against his arms, and Shige wished he'd worn a coat. Tegoshi, on the other hand, seemed impervious to the cold, though that could have had something to do with how Koyama's arm was wrapped securely around his waist.
It stung less now than it had at first - the cuddling, the sweet, whispered words, the long looks. Shige had hoped it was because his attraction to Koyama was finally diminishing, but, if he admitted it, he knew that that wasn't the case. He'd had time - three months now, he counted - to get used to it.
The three of them trudged toward the beach, cement giving way to sand beneath their feet, and the ocean, inky black in the night, stretched out ahead. The stars weren't visible, but the moon was high above them, giving off enough light to see by.
They stopped a good 20 meters or so from the ocean, and Shige had to wonder what Koyama's big plan was. Between the chill of the air, and the pale glow of the moon on the water, it felt even less like summer.
Tegoshi didn't seem to understand either, but when he spoke, his voice sounded trusting.
"What are we doing?" he asked, and Koyama smiled secretively.
"Close your eyes."
Tegoshi did as he was told, and Shige watched Koyama dig into his bag and pull out a pack of sparklers. He placed one in Tegoshi's hand, curling his fingers around it before telling him he could look.
Tegoshi opened his eyes and let out a high pitched sound of delight, spinning around to show Shige. Koyama handed one to him as well, then lit them, Tegoshi's first and Shige's second, before doing his own last. Shige stood back a little, absentmindedly drawing slow swirls in the air, watching while Tegoshi drew hearts and what he thought may have been Koyama's name. Koyama seemed happy just to hold his in front of him, marveling at the little crackling sparks, and the look of simple happiness on his face filled Shige's stomach with a strange ache.
He had to look away, and turned to face the ocean, holding his sparkler towards it until it burned out, and looked back in time to see Tegoshi on his tiptoes, pressing a kiss to Koyama's lips. Shige made himself watch, numbing himself to the sight, until Tegoshi pulled away and asked for another sparkler.
He was happy for Tegoshi. He really was. Even though Tegoshi knew how to stomp on Shige’s every last nerve, played pranks on him ‘til Shige wanted to pull both of their hair out, and was so ridiculously clueless sometimes, Shige loved him. So he took a deep breath and made himself smile. After a moment, when Tegoshi started running across the sand, along the water, yelling and waving his sparkler like a five-year-old, the smile was genuine, and so was the laughter.
By November, Shige had succeeded in, if not ridding himself of his unwanted feelings, at least pushing them far enough and hard enough back in his brain that they only bothered him at odd, lonely moments when he’d let them run free for a bit before stuffing them back where they belonged. Which was good, because Koyama suddenly texted him while he was in the middle of his criminal justice class to beg him to help him shop for a birthday present for Tegoshi. The text was full of exclamation points, sweat drops, and smilies, and Shige snorted softly and smiled, texting back, “okay” under the table and shutting his phone. When he realized he hadn’t even felt a pang of envy, he did this weird sort of happy jiggle he didn’t realize he’d done until he noticed the girl next to him giving him a strange look.
They spent about an hour traipsing through shops, looking at things that they Shige knew Tegoshi would like - that Koyama agreed Tegoshi would like - but when he suggested buying them, a little wrinkle would form on Koyama's brow.
"I don't know..." he'd say. "He'd like it, but it's not..."
'But it's not perfect,' Shige thought, idly wondering if Tegoshi knew just how lucky he was.
They were halfway through the second hour of their fruitless search when Koyama sighed, turned to Shige with a serious face, and apologized.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have told you that I’m indecisive when I'm buying presents. I always want to buy the perfect gift, but I can never find it."
"Well, you don't just have to get him one thing. You don't even have to buy him anything, you could take him out on his birthday, spoil him. You know how much he loves being spoiled." He stopped talking when Koyama looked at him, bewildered, and Shige wondered if he'd suggested something strange. "Bad idea?"
"No..." Koyama's face turned thoughtful. "I just never thought of that before. But now that you mention it..."
He touched Shige's back lightly, urging him back into the store they'd just left, and led him back into the accessory corner. There was a silver skull necklace there that'd they'd both agreed had Tegoshi's name all over it, but after a bit of thought, Koyama had left it on the display. This time, though, he took it off, holding it by the chain.
"You're getting that now?" Shige asked, and Koyama nodded.
"This, and some other things. I have a scheme now, thanks to you." He smiled broadly, showing his crooked bottom teeth, and Shige felt warm, pleased, like he'd achieved something.
He assumed they'd just buy the necklace and leave now, but Koyama lingered a moment, then picked up a pair of gaudy sunglasses with glittery frames and oddly shaped lenses, and slid them on.
"How do I look?" he asked seriously, and Shige fought not to snort in public.
"Flashy," he replied, and before he knew it, Koyama was forcing a pair of equally tasteless glasses on him, and they were laughing and joking, as though some invisible barrier that had been between them was suddenly gone.
They could have split up and gone home after that, but they didn't, visiting a few more shops, chatting idly, before Koyama asked Shige if he felt like having something to drink and not long after they were sitting at a window table in a tiny cafe, cradling cups of hot coffee, Koyama's treat, and watching people walk by.
"Thanks for coming with me," Koyama said, smiling warmly at Shige.
"No problem," Shige replied. "You're a lot easier to shop with than our friend Massu. Truthfully, it was fun."
Koyama's smile grew wider and his eyes crinkled up. "We should do it again! I had fun shopping with you, too."
Shige smiled into his coffee and took a sip.
Shige heard Koyama's phone vibrate and the man shifted to one side to pull it out of his pocket and flip it open, the skull charm dangling from it a match of Tegoshi's and Shige chuckled quietly.
"Tegoshi?" he asked and Koyama nodded.
"He wants me to come over and take him to dinner."
Shige stopped smiling. "I'm sorry, you can go ahead. I'll just stay and finish my drink."
Koyama leaned his head to the side and smiled. "It's okay, he can wait an extra half an hour, I think. I'm enjoying myself."
Shige blinked quickly at him as his heart suddenly sped up and he quickly took a sip of his drink, turning his head to the side and hoping he wasn't blushing as hard as he thought he was.
~*~
Shige looked up from his book when he heard the soft click of Tegoshi's door and soft, cautious footsteps.
"Shige?" Koyama half-whispered as he came close. "You're up late." He lowered himself onto the opposite side of the couch, pulling long legs up to his body and wrapping his arms around his knees.
Shige shook his head and pulled off his glasses, rubbing at the bridge of his nose briefly before meeting Koyama's eyes. "I always have trouble sleeping the week after exams. Trying to unwind from those last few weeks is hell. I can't believe Tegoshi can just drop off like there's no big deal."
Koyama laughed softly. "Yeah, he was so excited for me to come over but he pretty much drowsed the whole time and then just fell asleep mid-sentence. And I usually don't go to sleep until 4 a.m. myself so... Anyway," he looked down at the book in Shige’s hands. “What are you reading? Aren’t you tired of books right now?” he asked with a grin.
“Eh, it’s mindless reading. It’s good to be able to just sit down and read something without having to think too hard about it.” It felt so intimate in the softly lit room, hushed voices lending a sense of privacy to the atmosphere. He leaned his head back against the couch and took a deep breath, feeling Koyama’s eyes on him. He felt stretched out, exposed, and both wanted to luxuriate in the feeling of closeness and close it off. He chose the middle ground by pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged and face Koyama.
"Shige is always so serious," Koyama said after a moment, teasingly. And he leaned over to put his index fingers on either side of Shige's lips and push them up.
Shige choked on a laugh, trying to be quiet and batted Koyama's hands away. "I'm not always serious. Just last month I was parading around the living room with a feather boa singing 'It's Raining Men.'" He grimaced at the memory and Koyama started laughing, trying to be quiet, but then he dissolved into giggles and Shige smothered him with the edge of a pillow, watching Koyama's eyes nearly disappear he was grinning so hard, until he quieted down. Shige pulled away the pillow cautiously but all Koyama did was hiccup once and Shige snorted at the ridiculousness of it.
"That was a dare," Koyama said finally, quiet but with a hint a laughter still there. "And a month ago."
"Well, you have all of March to make me less serious. After that it's time to be an adult." He eyed Koyama speculatively. "Though that doesn't seem to have stopped you."
"So serious about having fun, too. Oh, Shige..." Koyama smirked at him. “I could be nice and let you get back to reading your book, but I’m feeling selfish and am going to make you keep talking to me until you fall asleep.”
Shige wrinkled his nose at Koyama. “Yeah, it’s such a chore to listen to you talk. If I fall asleep, though, you have to carry me to bed. If I fall asleep on the couch, I’ll feel like crap in the morning and how’s that for starting my last month as a free man?”
Koyama giggled quietly. “Princess Shige.”
“Hey, call me whatever you want as long as I don’t have to carry myself. I’m tired,” he said, heaving a sigh and unfolding his legs to put his feet in Koyama’s lap.
“Tired from what, you bum? Did you even do anything today? Your last exam was yesterday, wasn’t it?”
“Tired from trying to get you to stop stalking me. I figured if I was boring enough today, you’d lose interest and leave me alone.”
“Shige is never boring,” Koyama said seriously, and Shige leaned up to poke Koyama in the side.
“Lying is a sin.”
Koyama grinned. “I never lie.”
“Whatever…” He wriggled around a bit then jiggled his feet against Koyama’s thighs. “Rub my feet.”
“Really, that only works if you’re Tegoshi.”
Shige gave him puppy eyes.
“Still not working, but nice try.” He pinched one of Shige’s toes.
Koyama spoke quietly to him, words fuzzing sometimes, and Shige’s pauses between replies grew longer and longer until finally he felt hands under his body and he was being carefully lifted.
“Shige is heavier than he looks,” Koyama grunted, and Shige managed a weak “Oi” as he wrapped his arms around Koyama’s neck. Koyama deposited him on his bed less carefully but tucked him in gently. “Sweet dreams, Princess Shige,” he whispered with a giggle and left.
Shige turned on his side, body tingling and warm, thoughts fuzzy and he dreamed of Koyama all in white, and woke with dried tears on his cheeks.
~*~
Shige came home from work late for the second day in a row, practically asleep on his feet, the idea of collapsing into bed without bothering with dinner becoming more and more appealing with each passing moment.
But when he opened the door and was welcomed home not just by Tegoshi’s familiar, enthusiastic bellow, but also by Koyama’s cheerful, nasal tone, Shige figured he could afford to keep his eyes open a little longer.
“How was work?” Koyama asked him from the kitchen when he flopped carelessly into a dining chair.
“I haven’t been this busy since studying to get into Aoyama.” Shige admitted, fighting the urge to rest his head on the table.
“They can recognize a workaholic when they see one.” Koyama was facing away, but it was easy to tell from his voice that he was grinning the same way he always did when he was trying to wind Shige up. “Tegoshi seems to be doing just fine.”
“I like work. The general manager bought lunch for me again today,” Tegoshi added helpfully and Shige rolled his eyes.
“I like it too. It’s tiring, but I like being busy. Unlike some people around here, I actually have a work ethic.” He didn’t tease back too much, though, since Koyama was cooking dinner for them, which meant he’d actually get fed properly before he went to sleep tonight.
As Tegoshi prattled on about how nice everyone at work was, and Koyama worked away at the stove, making noises of acknowledgement at the appropriate times, Shige felt himself relaxing, both mentally and physically.
It seemed strange, because in the very back of his mind, he knew that he still liked Koyama in a way that it wasn't at all appropriate when he was dating Shige's best friend. That in itself should have left him tense and nervous, and in the beginning it had. But he was used to it now. It was two months off Tegoshi and Koyama's one year anniversary - Koyama had already started flooding Shige's inbox with mails asking him for help planning it - and he no longer felt the same twist in his gut when the two of them kissed, or the same pangs of jealousy when Tegoshi curled up in Koyama's lap.
He liked them both, liked spending time with them both, and thought that maybe in the years following, or even months if he were lucky, he would get over Koyama and be left with nothing but the warm feelings of companionship he felt now.
He surveyed the scene in front of him; Koyama in his apron, moving gracefully between the dining room and kitchen, placing steaming bowls of noodles on the table, and Tegoshi with his bright smile and cheery voice. They both looked so happy and, despite the usual undercurrent of longing he couldn't quite suppress, Shige knew he felt the same.
~*~
After a month of working, Shige had fallen into the rhythm and routine of having a full-time job. He still grumbled about overtime and having to take paperwork home - especially when Tegoshi somehow seemed to have twice as much free time as he did - but other than that, all was going smoothly.
It had been a normal, almost boring, week so far, and today had only continued the trend. Shige ran most of the way home from the train station, clutching an umbrella, but was still soaked through by the time he got back. It had poured down all day yesterday as well, and wasn’t showing any signs of letting up. Looked like the rainy season had begun.
“I’m home,” Shige called out, shutting the door behind him, but was greeted by nothing more than dark rooms and silence.
That was odd. Tegoshi almost always beat him home, sometimes by hours. Shige shrugged it off, figuring that maybe he stopped by at the restaurant to see Koyama after work, and went to grab a towel to dry off his hair. He was just sitting down at the table with a cup of tea when Tegoshi breezed through the door, eyes bright and hair and shoulders infuriatingly dry.
"How," Shige started, staring at Tegoshi incredulously, "did you get home without getting even the slightest bit wet?"
"Oh, I'm a little bit wet, see?" he asked, leaning down and pushing his shoulder in Shige's face.
There were a few dark drops scattered across the fabric and he scowled as Tegoshi pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the chair on the way to the kitchen. "That doesn't count. It's coming down by the bucketfuls out there."
"Matsui-san offered to drive me home since we left at the same time and his house is close to here," he replied brightly amidst the sounds of ceramic clinking. “How was work?”
“Good. It was fine. I managed not to bring any of it home with me today, so that’s a nice change.”
Tegoshi came and sat down across from him, taking a sip of his tea before setting it down and grinning widely at Shige. “Good. That means you can take me out to dinner to celebrate tonight. They talked to me today about maybe transferring me to a new branch in Kyoto. I would leave month after next. August. It would mean more responsibility and a small raise, but more room for advancement.”
“You’ve only been there three months!”
“If Shige works hard, he might get promoted too,” Tegoshi said mischievously.
“You little…”
“It’s all about good timing, Shige. I was teasing. You work hard. You’ll get your chance too.”
It felt to him like Tegoshi was talking down to him superiorly again, but they'd been friends long enough for Shige to know it was unintentional, and he sighed, admitting defeat.
"Alright, alright. I'll celebrate with you. What do you want to eat?"
Tegoshi beamed and took a big swallow of his tea.
"That place Massu recommended to us last time was good. Let's go there again."
"Right. Okay."
They finished their tea in relative silence, Tegoshi making a comment here and there, but Shige wasn't really listening.
If Tegoshi left, that meant Koyama wouldn't be coming around as often anymore. Then another thought occurred to him: If Tegoshi left, Shige would either have to find a new roommate, or move out. He couldn't afford the place by himself. He didn't particularly want to find a new place to live, but he didn't want to live with a stranger either, and there was no one he knew who was looking for somewhere to live.
He looked at Tegoshi, with his cheery smile and demeanor and realized that he couldn't have thought this through yet. As usual, Shige was looking at the details and Tegoshi was caught up in the big picture.
He wondered for a moment if he should say something, but then Tegoshi finished his tea, announcing, "I'm going to take a shower, then we'll go out, okay?"
Shige nodded and watched as he took his cup to the kitchen and headed off to the bathroom, noticed the extra spring in his step, and knew that he wouldn't be able to be the one to burst Tegoshi's bubble. He'd have to think through the consequences on his own.
~*~
Early July again and it felt like déjà vu because he was waiting for Tegoshi again, roasting in jeans and a t-shirt, and Tegoshi was late. This time he wasn't surprised to see Tegoshi dragging a laughing Koyama behind him. His breathing didn't stop this time, but he couldn't help the familiar clenching feeling in his stomach that he'd thought he'd conquered months ago. Must just be the nostalgia, he told himself.
"Spare me the gory details," Shige said dryly as they were seated at a table, "but how was your anniversary date yesterday?"
Tegoshi grinned and Koyama smiled shyly.
"It was so much fun! Koyama surprised me with breakfast in bed, you were sleeping still, and then we went to the beach!"
Shige half-listened to the rest as he looked over the menu and kept shooting glances at Koyama's totally in-love face. He wondered briefly if Tegoshi had told him about his plans yet, but was interrupted when Tegoshi's tone changed to sly.
"...and then, well, I didn't come home last night."
"Yes. Thank you, Mr. Obvious, I had noticed."
“Yeah. Then Kei-chan and I…”
“We had a nice dinner at my house, didn’t we?” Koyama interrupted gently, placing a hand over his boyfriend’s on the table and rubbing it with his thumb.
“Oh, yeah. And Kei-chan cooked dinner for me,” Tegoshi added obediently, with an adoring smile in his boyfriend’s direction.
Shige breathed a sigh of relief and made a mental note to thank Koyama later for shutting Tegoshi up.
“So Koyama spoiled you again, I see. Did you even do anything for him in the end?”
Tegoshi’s smirk crept back onto his face at that comment and Shige felt like smacking himself.
“Oh no, I did a lot of nice things for Kei-chan.” He made lewd motions with his hands as he said it, and Shige grabbed the menu, miming hitting him over the head with it.
Koyama laughed as he watched them, looking perfectly relaxed and happy; he joked with Tegoshi, subtly teased him the same way he always did, gave his knee the occasional squeeze under the table. If Tegoshi had told him about his transfer, Shige thought, he was taking it very well. He wanted to ask, but if Koyama didn’t know, it wasn’t Shige’s right to bring it up.
Their food arrived and when Tegoshi started to complain about the coriander sprinkled atop his meal, he forgot all about it in favor of telling Tegoshi how spoiled he was as Koyama began to pick out each little piece for him.
~*~
He found out the answer to his unasked question a couple of days later. He got home from work feeling sweaty and disgusting, because the air-conditioning in his office had broken, and nobody was coming to fix it until tomorrow. He called out his usual greeting as he walked in the door and toed off his shoes, but received no reply.
Tegoshi’s door was shut, so Shige figured he was either sleeping or working on something - probably the former, knowing Tegoshi - and left him alone; if only Tegoshi had the same consideration for him when his door was shut.
Although, Shige admitted grudgingly to himself as he peeled off his suit jacket off and headed for the shower, he’d probably miss it when Tegoshi was gone. Next month. It was hard to believe. He’d barely even given any thought as to what he should do about moving out.
He started on dinner after he’d washed, dried and dressed, and had just put the rice in the cooker when he heard voices coming from Tegoshi’s room. Shige hadn’t even known there’d been an extra person in the house.
He recognized the second voice as being Koyama’s pretty quickly, and his brow furrowed when he realized that he didn’t sound happy. It worried him. Tegoshi and Koyama almost never fought, and when they did, it usually involved Tegoshi blowing his top, stomping off to his room, then coming out all of five minutes later to apologize.
But this time it was Koyama’s voice that Shige could hear, high and upset, ringing out above Tegoshi’s softer tone, and even though he hated the thought of eavesdropping, he couldn’t stop himself from creeping a bit closer and listening in.
"I told you. I can't tell you when I'm coming back, Kei-chan. I don't know," Tegoshi said a bit desperately.
"But... you will be coming back, right?" Koyama's tone was pleading and Shige squirmed a bit, heart aching for him, because he knew Tegoshi hadn't thought that far. The long pause told him he was right.
"I... really don't know. Can't you come with me?"
Shige furrowed his brow. There was no way Koyama would up and leave his family and responsibilities here. Asking him to was nearly cruel.
"That's not fair," Shige barely heard him say. "If you're asking me to choose between you and my family, you know what my answer has to be. This is where my life is. I thought you would be staying in Tokyo. That's what you said."
Shige stepped back, his jaw dropping a bit.
"I can't just pass this up, Koyama. How come I'm the one that has to give up?"
There was a long moment of silence and then Koyama's voice came through, firm and clear but most of all bitter. "I lose both ways, though, don't I? I'm sorry, Tegoshi."
Shige heard the knob rattle and he backed up farther, blinking with disbelief as the door opened and Koyama stepped out. He watched Koyama leave, fresh tears overlaying old tracks as he avoided Shige’s eyes and Shige couldn’t do anything but watch him go, open-mouthed.
“You should have told me you were breaking up with him,” he hissed at Tegoshi when he slipped into his friend's room after Koyama had shut the front door.
Tegoshi had frowned at him. “I didn’t know we were going to break up. It just happened. I told him about the job in Kyoto, how much I wanted it and what it meant to me. He can’t leave his mother or his nephews, or the ramen shop. I understand him. I do. But I can’t give up my chance either,” he said stubbornly. Then Tegoshi hiccupped and the hiccup turned into a choked sob and Shige spent an hour just holding him and letting him cry.
~*~
Shige envied that Tegoshi already had an apartment waiting for him in Kyoto. He recalled now just how painful a process it had been four years ago when he and Tegoshi had been looking and they'd had to try and find something that would work for both of them. At least it was just him now, he supposed, but endless viewing appointments did nothing to raise his mood, and Tegoshi certainly wasn't any help with all his moping. Not that he blamed him, of course, but this was all quite depressing.
"Kato-san?"
He heaved a sigh. "Sorry," he told the real estate agent. "I'll think about this one."
He entered his apartment already whining. "My feet hurt. And all of the apartments are too small or too expensive." He threw himself onto the couch face-first, flopping his legs onto Tegoshi's lap. Tegoshi made a distracted sympathetic noise and Shige stretched out more. "Almost all packed?" he asked, voice muffled by the cushion.
"About that..."
Shige grimaced into the couch and then rose up on an elbow awkwardly and looked over his shoulder at Tegoshi's hopeful face. "Fine, fine. I'll help you pack. Jeez. You're so helpless, I swear."
He kept sneaking looks at Tegoshi's drawn face while he helped him pack, ribbing him gently and prodding him about his new job until Tegoshi finally started laughing and talking excitedly about the move. They ordered in and ate on the floor in front of the T.V. just like they'd done their freshman year and stayed up until Tegoshi fell asleep curled up on the floor. Shige woke him enough to move him to bed and he tucked him in, kneeling next to the bed and watching him breathe. He felt a catch in his own breath and he shook his head. He was going to miss this.
He went out into the living room and sat on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest and laying his cheek against them. Tegoshi was going to be fine. He always was.
He wondered how Koyama was doing.
Part 2
Pairing/Group: Koyama/Tegoshi, Koyama/Shige
Rating: PG for sexual references
Words: 13,600
Warnings: Not really a warning, just letting you know there is no cheating involved.
Notes: This is Team I Feel Your Rubbing's (myself and bananyphophany) submission for 2010 je_devilorangel. Originally posted here (part 1) and here (part 2). Thank you, Cait, for writing this with me even if you made me do all the work. XD Just kidding. ;) Who else would write a KoyaTego with me? I'm grateful. I really had an amazing time doing this with you and am looking forward to our next collaboration... XD <3 <3 <3
Summary: Shige had never believed in “love at first sight” until the day it happened to him. He just wished it hadn’t been with his best friend’s boyfriend.
Part 1 | Part 2
Summer rolled around again in all its varied glory - days so hot all you could do was laze in front of an open window, fan trained on your sweaty skin, and dream of mountains of ice; days so bright all you wanted was to take to the beach and run across burning sand to jump into deep blue waves and be blinded by the sun shimmering brokenly off its surface; days so perfect with just the right heat and sun and breeze that you felt lucky to be alive and went for celebratory ice cream in the park. But summer always brought thoughts of Koyama - sweat slicking bits of his hair against his face as he half-ran, laughing, after Tegoshi; beautiful, lean, golden body stretched out across the sand, wet hair carelessly pushed to the side as he basked in the sun; fingers tangled with Tegoshi’s and a sweet smile just before Tegoshi smooshed soft-serve against his lips and laughed as Koyama pushed away the cone and pulled Tegoshi in to help clean him up. Shige had wanted that to be him. Oh how.
He was angry at himself, still, that Koyama had such an effect on him even after two years of no contact. When Tegoshi and Koyama had broken up, Shige had wanted to continue their friendship, had wanted more, of course. But there was that iffy question of when it was okay, if it was okay, to date your best friend’s ex. The indecision of what he wanted and how to get it, if he could get it drew on. So the weeks of no contact had turned to months until he became upset with Koyama. Hadn’t they been friends, too? Why didn’t Koyama contact him? Maybe without Tegoshi there was nothing Shige could offer him. Still, all during the summer he’d think of getting on the train out to Sobudai and surprising Koyama at the restaurant, confessing, a million other things he’d wanted so desperately - but ultimately he would abandon the idea, pushing it back the furthest recesses of his heart and half-heartedly hoping for winter. Because, now, summer always meant Koyama.
~*~
It was early July and the temperature was more appropriate for mid-August, sweltering heat making the air wrinkle and sending trickles of sweat down his back. He looked at his watch. Late again. Damnit. He fanned himself carefully with a flyer he’d absently accepted on the way. He’d been kind of irritated when he realized, but he was grateful now. He tapped his foot and checked his watch again. When he looked up, he could see Tegoshi, wide smile on his face, dragging another man behind him. Tall, rail-thin, dark-haired, small-eyed, mouth open with laughter, his eyes crinkled nearly closed and Shige realized he was holding his breath.
“Shige!” Tegoshi called and stopped in front of him.
“Late,” he grunted, tearing his eyes away from the tall man to focus on Tegoshi.
“I know. I got lost.”
“I wrote you out the directions! There was a map!” He tried to keep his eyes off the stranger. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend or what? I know you have manners. Somewhere.”
Tegoshi laughed. “He’s not my friend. He’s my boyfriend.”
Shige felt his heart plummet.
“Shige, this is Koyama Keiichiro. Kei-chan, Kato Shigeaki, but you can call him Shige. Everyone else does.”
“You little…” he cut himself off as Koyama bowed.
“Nice to meet you.”
Shige flushed, fanned himself harder and returned the action. “Yeah. Nice to meet you, too.”
“Why are we still outside? It’s hot,” Tegoshi complained.
“You…” and Koyama was grinning at him knowingly and following his petite boyfriend through the doors.
Shige stared forlornly after them, forgetting he was meant to be going too until Tegoshi turned around and gave him a strange look. He hurried in, head down and cheeks flushing brighter still when he realized that Koyama was laughing at him. It was gentle laughter, not malicious at all, but it still made Shige feel like an idiot.
“The heat must have addled Shige’s brains,” Tegoshi was saying as he clung to Koyama’s arm, rubbing small circles on Koyama’s wrist with his thumb, and Shige was so busy trying not to look that he didn’t even think to come up with a retort.
He spent the rest of the entire outing trying to keep his eyes off them. It wasn’t that they were blatantly affectionate with one another, just little brushes of the hand and bumping shoulders, but with the way it made Shige’s gut twist, they may as well have had their tongues down each other’s throats.
He tried to make eye contact and conversation with Koyama, pretending he couldn’t see that Tegoshi had his hand on his thigh under the table, and instead focused on Koyama’s warm, nasal tone or how he giggled whenever Shige said something particularly amusing.
“It really must have addled his brains,” Tegoshi told Koyama, cocking his head as he looked at Shige. “He’s never this quiet.”
Maybe it had, he thought, because he sure as hell couldn’t seem to focus, thoughts skittering across his mind and falling off the other end before they had a chance to detour to his mouth. God. This was so wrong. He cleared his throat nervously.
“Shige!” Tegoshi kicked him under the table.
“Hnn.” He glared back. “What?”
“I said, let’s go over to the park. I want to walk.”
“You’re not going to want to for long, Mr. ‘Why are we still outside? It’s hot.’”
“Kei-chan will buy me ice cream,” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, okay.” He moved to get out his wallet, as did Koyama, and noticed that Tegoshi didn’t budge. Somehow he wasn’t at all surprised the Tegoshi was the girl in this.
He walked with them to the park and the oppressive heat was a little more endurable under the shade of the trees even if the weird, sick feeling in his gut as he watched Tegoshi swing his and Koyama’s linked hands between them, just ahead of him, wasn’t.
Tegoshi really did get an ice cream in the end as well, and between him feeding Koyama small bites of it and Koyama dabbing Tegoshi’s face with a serviette when he managed to smear some around his mouth, Shige couldn’t take it anymore.
“I think I might head home.” He stood abruptly, startling the other two. “I should really be studying for my end of semester exams.”
“So soon?” Koyama sounded genuinely sorry to see him go. “Well, it was nice to meet you.”
“I’ll see you later tonight.” Tegoshi said. And then, as though rubbing it in, his eyes flicked towards Koyama with a mischievous sparkle in them. “Well, probably.”
Shige tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted into a knot and forced himself to say goodbye with a smile that lasted until the moment he turned to leave.
He had actually had some intention of studying when he got back home, but once he was there, Shige realized he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was filled up with thoughts of nothing but Koyama. He found himself wondering how long it would be before Tegoshi started bringing Koyama back home, cuddling with him on the couch, kissing him when he thought Shige wasn’t looking, or, knowing Tegoshi, even when he was…
He shut his book with a snap and pushed it across the table. Obviously studying wasn’t going to help him clear his head. Ridiculous, of course. He barely even knew the man. And yet, he’d felt his heart rise into his throat when he’d seen him, before he’d known that he was Tegoshi’s boyfriend. That he hadn’t known made him feel a little better about the whole thing, regardless of the ridiculousness of this ‘love at first sight’ crap. Well. He stood and grabbed his phone and wallet. There was no point in thinking about it. He’d never believed in it before, and he wouldn’t believe in it now. He must just be stressed over finals. He would go buy things to make dinner, something extra complicated to occupy his mind until it got over this hump.
Tegoshi came home around six to find Shige in the kitchen just pulling crème brulee out of the oven and testing its jiggle.
“Shige,” he said suspiciously, leaning against the wall. “What’s this?”
Satisfied with the dessert, Shige took the ramekins out of their water bath and set them aside to cool before turning to the side and rolling out a pre-made puff pastry.
“Beef Wellington with a green peppercorn sauce, roasted new potatoes with garlic butter, and steamed broccoli. Crème brulee.”
“That… sounds delicious but not what I meant. Did something happen?”
Shige focused on rolling the prosciutto-wrapped beef up in the pastry, brushing egg wash over the edges and carefully pressing them together. “No.”
“Hmmm…” Shige could tell he wanted to press him, but he didn’t. “How long until dinner?”
“An hour,” he replied, sliding the baking sheet into the oven.
They sat down approximately an hour later, Tegoshi shoveling his food down and complimenting Shige between bites. Shige, half wanting to ask why he was back so early, and half not wanting Tegoshi to talk about Koyama at all, didn’t have the heart to tell him not to speak with his mouth full. In the end, he didn’t have to decide which option he preferred, because Tegoshi, fed up with Shige’s lack of conversation, started to fill him in on everything that had happened from the moment he’d left them, to the moment Tegoshi had stepped in the door.
“I was going to go home with Kei-chan, but then he got a call from his mom saying that one of the staff at the ramen shop was sick… oh, Kei-chan’s mom owns a ramen shop, by the way… and she asked him to come in and help, so I came back.” He paused to put a potato in his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. “The ramen there is really good, by the way. And I’m fussy about ramen. You should come there with us sometime and try it.”
Shige grunted noncommittally around a mouthful of food to avoid having to answer properly.
Tegoshi looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then asked, “Do you like Kei-chan, Shige?”
Shige almost choked. “I… what?”
“Well.” Tegoshi cocked his head, leaning it on a fist. “You left really quickly today, even though you’re the one who invited me out. I was worried that maybe you didn’t like him.”
"How could I not like him?" he finally asked, slicing off a bite of the meat and holding it up and waving it around a little with a frown. "I don't even know him. But he seems nice enough, I guess." He took his bite.
“Good!” Tegoshi grinned at him. “Because I really like him and I really wanted you to as well.”
Shige grunted and swallowed. “I didn’t know you cared,” he said sweetly.
~*~
Shige was spared having to see Koyama again for three weeks, so busy studying that even Tegoshi wouldn’t bother him for fear of facing his wrath. For the most part, both of them studied quietly in their own rooms or sprawled out over various pieces of furniture and it was almost like nothing had happened.
He’d actually managed to nearly forget about Koyama’s existence, so caught up in his work that it came as a shock when the gangly man showed up on their doorstep with a full grocery bag and a grin.
“H-hello,” Shige said. “Um.”
“Who is it, Shige?” he heard Tegoshi call from his room.
Koyama held his finger to his lips and winked conspiratorially.
“Uh. No one. Wrong apartment.”
He let Koyama inside, shutting the door behind him and guiding him into the kitchen so he could set the bag down. Koyama moved through the apartment like a cat, graceful and completely silent, and Shige snuck glances at his long legs as they carried him around the kitchen.
He had to hold back a violent shiver when Koyama leant into him and whispered into the shell of his ear, "Show me where Tego is?"
Shige felt like a horrible person for wanting to grab Koyama and bridge the gap between their bodies, reminding himself that this was his best friend's boyfriend and that he should certainly not be entertaining thoughts of holding him. He forced himself to step away casually.
"This way,” he mouthed, leading Koyama to just outside Tegoshi's door.
He stayed for just long enough to see Koyama creep over to Tegoshi and cover his eyes from behind, before he silently pulled the door shut, not sure he wanted to watch anything that might follow.
"That's not funny, Shige. I'm busy," he heard Tegoshi say primly, followed by a brief moment of silence, which was then shattered when he shrieked, "Kei-chan!" in a voice loud enough the wake the dead.
Of course, Shige's attempt to avoid viewing any potential situations he may not have wanted to see was ruined when Tegoshi burst out of his room with Koyama in tow to announce, "Kei-chan came to make us dinner, Shige!"
After a few minutes, Koyama convinced Tegoshi to study in his room like he had been doing. “Won’t I be too distracting?” he asked slyly, nudging Tegoshi toward his room.
Tegoshi looked up at him through lowered lashes and smiled and Koyama laughed low and touched his fingers to Tegoshi’s chin and kissed him lightly before pushing him away.
“I’ll tell you when it’s ready.”
Shige watched from his position on the couch and grimaced. When Koyama started to move around in the kitchen, quietly opening drawers, Shige asked gruffly, “Need help finding anything?”
“Oh, no. That’s all right. You need to study,” he said with a smile. “Am I being too loud, though?” he asked, frowning a bit. “I’ll try to be more quiet.”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
He watched Koyama for a few more minutes, the way his forehead crinkled when he was concentrating, the smooth way he moved around in the kitchen despite being unfamiliar with it. Finally, he sighed and stood. He needed to take this to his room or he’d never get anything done. He interrupted Koyama’s work to get a glass of water.
The water, that had been necessary, he thought as he closed the door to his room. The way he’d brushed their shoulders together, cutting his turn just a little too close… that hadn’t been.
Shige buried himself in his books, trying to push images of Koyama out of his head and replace them with facts and dates, managing to concentrate significantly better than he'd assumed he would. He lost track of time and was surprised when Tegoshi knocked on his door and came in to fetch him, telling him that Koyama said dinner was ready.
Shige was still quiet as they ate together, but at least this time he was able to compliment Koyama on his cooking and hold a brief conversation about it. He even managed to get a smile out of him, but felt guilty and pathetic when it made his stomach twist and heart throb.
When they'd all finished, Koyama offered to clean up for them after them as well, but Tegoshi insisted he at least help with that. Shige stayed at the table, feeling awkward and watching the two of them at the sink together, bumping elbows and looking like the very definition of domesticity.
He excused himself and retired to his room again to escape the scene, diving back into the piles of books and academic jargon and forcing himself not to think about how he wished it had been him next to Koyama, washing dishes and scrubbing pots.
Half an hour later, his concentration was broken by a soft thump outside his door, followed by Tegoshi's familiar giggle.
"I'm supposed to be here to free you up, not distract you," Koyama's voice filtered softly through his door.
"You did, I studied while you were cooking," Tegoshi's slightly less hushed voice followed. "And I studied all day before that too. Shouldn't I get a reward now?"
Shige heard Tegoshi's door close and he swallowed, unsure of what to do. He could stay in here and hope they didn't get up to anything too loud, but knowing Tegoshi, the chances of that were pretty slim. He wished his ipod headphones hadn't broken the other day, because he could really have done with a working pair right now.
Instead, he grabbed a couple of books and a pencil and retired to the kitchen table, the furthest he could get from Tegoshi's room without actually leaving the apartment. The deathly quiet that ensued was actually worse because he found himself straining to listen, finally giving up with a sigh and reaching for his keys and walking out the door.
The night offered a slight reprieve from the heat, but not the humidity. But there was a decent breeze and he found himself relaxing as he walked, his first real moments of peace in three weeks outside sleep that was often troubled by stress-induced dreams, anyway. He forced himself to stop thinking for once, focusing on putting one foot down and then the next. When he finally came back to focus on his surroundings, he was about half an hour from home and he refused to let himself get stressed about it as he turned and slowly made his way back.
Only then, turning back, did he allow himself to tentatively think about Koyama. He could not understand his instant attraction to this man. He barely knew him, only knew that he seemed kind, and doted on Tegoshi, was devoted to his family. He didn’t try to deny it, anymore, just gently pushed it away. He could still feel it shimmering on the edges of his heart, and it hurt a little, the incessant fluttering, but what could he do? It would fade. These things always did.
~*~
Shige stood at the sink doing dishes. He was on duty tonight because Koyama had cooked and Tegoshi had "helped" and thus wriggled out of any responsibility at all. Koyama had tried to help but Tegoshi had latched on to his arm and dragged him to the couch, snuggling against him so he couldn't get up.
"It's okay, Kei-chan. You cooked. And Shige likes doing dishes anyway."
Shige raised his eyebrow but deigned not to comment and Koyama grinned sardonically at him.
A few moments later Tegoshi spoke and Shige could hear the pout. "I miss summer already."
How can you?, Shige thought, you're holding it in your arms. Then he blushed and looked down, scrubbing furiously at the pan.
"I have an idea," Koyama said, and Shige glanced up to see the warm, doting smile. So spoiled.
The October night air was cool against his arms, and Shige wished he'd worn a coat. Tegoshi, on the other hand, seemed impervious to the cold, though that could have had something to do with how Koyama's arm was wrapped securely around his waist.
It stung less now than it had at first - the cuddling, the sweet, whispered words, the long looks. Shige had hoped it was because his attraction to Koyama was finally diminishing, but, if he admitted it, he knew that that wasn't the case. He'd had time - three months now, he counted - to get used to it.
The three of them trudged toward the beach, cement giving way to sand beneath their feet, and the ocean, inky black in the night, stretched out ahead. The stars weren't visible, but the moon was high above them, giving off enough light to see by.
They stopped a good 20 meters or so from the ocean, and Shige had to wonder what Koyama's big plan was. Between the chill of the air, and the pale glow of the moon on the water, it felt even less like summer.
Tegoshi didn't seem to understand either, but when he spoke, his voice sounded trusting.
"What are we doing?" he asked, and Koyama smiled secretively.
"Close your eyes."
Tegoshi did as he was told, and Shige watched Koyama dig into his bag and pull out a pack of sparklers. He placed one in Tegoshi's hand, curling his fingers around it before telling him he could look.
Tegoshi opened his eyes and let out a high pitched sound of delight, spinning around to show Shige. Koyama handed one to him as well, then lit them, Tegoshi's first and Shige's second, before doing his own last. Shige stood back a little, absentmindedly drawing slow swirls in the air, watching while Tegoshi drew hearts and what he thought may have been Koyama's name. Koyama seemed happy just to hold his in front of him, marveling at the little crackling sparks, and the look of simple happiness on his face filled Shige's stomach with a strange ache.
He had to look away, and turned to face the ocean, holding his sparkler towards it until it burned out, and looked back in time to see Tegoshi on his tiptoes, pressing a kiss to Koyama's lips. Shige made himself watch, numbing himself to the sight, until Tegoshi pulled away and asked for another sparkler.
He was happy for Tegoshi. He really was. Even though Tegoshi knew how to stomp on Shige’s every last nerve, played pranks on him ‘til Shige wanted to pull both of their hair out, and was so ridiculously clueless sometimes, Shige loved him. So he took a deep breath and made himself smile. After a moment, when Tegoshi started running across the sand, along the water, yelling and waving his sparkler like a five-year-old, the smile was genuine, and so was the laughter.
By November, Shige had succeeded in, if not ridding himself of his unwanted feelings, at least pushing them far enough and hard enough back in his brain that they only bothered him at odd, lonely moments when he’d let them run free for a bit before stuffing them back where they belonged. Which was good, because Koyama suddenly texted him while he was in the middle of his criminal justice class to beg him to help him shop for a birthday present for Tegoshi. The text was full of exclamation points, sweat drops, and smilies, and Shige snorted softly and smiled, texting back, “okay” under the table and shutting his phone. When he realized he hadn’t even felt a pang of envy, he did this weird sort of happy jiggle he didn’t realize he’d done until he noticed the girl next to him giving him a strange look.
They spent about an hour traipsing through shops, looking at things that they Shige knew Tegoshi would like - that Koyama agreed Tegoshi would like - but when he suggested buying them, a little wrinkle would form on Koyama's brow.
"I don't know..." he'd say. "He'd like it, but it's not..."
'But it's not perfect,' Shige thought, idly wondering if Tegoshi knew just how lucky he was.
They were halfway through the second hour of their fruitless search when Koyama sighed, turned to Shige with a serious face, and apologized.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I should have told you that I’m indecisive when I'm buying presents. I always want to buy the perfect gift, but I can never find it."
"Well, you don't just have to get him one thing. You don't even have to buy him anything, you could take him out on his birthday, spoil him. You know how much he loves being spoiled." He stopped talking when Koyama looked at him, bewildered, and Shige wondered if he'd suggested something strange. "Bad idea?"
"No..." Koyama's face turned thoughtful. "I just never thought of that before. But now that you mention it..."
He touched Shige's back lightly, urging him back into the store they'd just left, and led him back into the accessory corner. There was a silver skull necklace there that'd they'd both agreed had Tegoshi's name all over it, but after a bit of thought, Koyama had left it on the display. This time, though, he took it off, holding it by the chain.
"You're getting that now?" Shige asked, and Koyama nodded.
"This, and some other things. I have a scheme now, thanks to you." He smiled broadly, showing his crooked bottom teeth, and Shige felt warm, pleased, like he'd achieved something.
He assumed they'd just buy the necklace and leave now, but Koyama lingered a moment, then picked up a pair of gaudy sunglasses with glittery frames and oddly shaped lenses, and slid them on.
"How do I look?" he asked seriously, and Shige fought not to snort in public.
"Flashy," he replied, and before he knew it, Koyama was forcing a pair of equally tasteless glasses on him, and they were laughing and joking, as though some invisible barrier that had been between them was suddenly gone.
They could have split up and gone home after that, but they didn't, visiting a few more shops, chatting idly, before Koyama asked Shige if he felt like having something to drink and not long after they were sitting at a window table in a tiny cafe, cradling cups of hot coffee, Koyama's treat, and watching people walk by.
"Thanks for coming with me," Koyama said, smiling warmly at Shige.
"No problem," Shige replied. "You're a lot easier to shop with than our friend Massu. Truthfully, it was fun."
Koyama's smile grew wider and his eyes crinkled up. "We should do it again! I had fun shopping with you, too."
Shige smiled into his coffee and took a sip.
Shige heard Koyama's phone vibrate and the man shifted to one side to pull it out of his pocket and flip it open, the skull charm dangling from it a match of Tegoshi's and Shige chuckled quietly.
"Tegoshi?" he asked and Koyama nodded.
"He wants me to come over and take him to dinner."
Shige stopped smiling. "I'm sorry, you can go ahead. I'll just stay and finish my drink."
Koyama leaned his head to the side and smiled. "It's okay, he can wait an extra half an hour, I think. I'm enjoying myself."
Shige blinked quickly at him as his heart suddenly sped up and he quickly took a sip of his drink, turning his head to the side and hoping he wasn't blushing as hard as he thought he was.
~*~
Shige looked up from his book when he heard the soft click of Tegoshi's door and soft, cautious footsteps.
"Shige?" Koyama half-whispered as he came close. "You're up late." He lowered himself onto the opposite side of the couch, pulling long legs up to his body and wrapping his arms around his knees.
Shige shook his head and pulled off his glasses, rubbing at the bridge of his nose briefly before meeting Koyama's eyes. "I always have trouble sleeping the week after exams. Trying to unwind from those last few weeks is hell. I can't believe Tegoshi can just drop off like there's no big deal."
Koyama laughed softly. "Yeah, he was so excited for me to come over but he pretty much drowsed the whole time and then just fell asleep mid-sentence. And I usually don't go to sleep until 4 a.m. myself so... Anyway," he looked down at the book in Shige’s hands. “What are you reading? Aren’t you tired of books right now?” he asked with a grin.
“Eh, it’s mindless reading. It’s good to be able to just sit down and read something without having to think too hard about it.” It felt so intimate in the softly lit room, hushed voices lending a sense of privacy to the atmosphere. He leaned his head back against the couch and took a deep breath, feeling Koyama’s eyes on him. He felt stretched out, exposed, and both wanted to luxuriate in the feeling of closeness and close it off. He chose the middle ground by pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged and face Koyama.
"Shige is always so serious," Koyama said after a moment, teasingly. And he leaned over to put his index fingers on either side of Shige's lips and push them up.
Shige choked on a laugh, trying to be quiet and batted Koyama's hands away. "I'm not always serious. Just last month I was parading around the living room with a feather boa singing 'It's Raining Men.'" He grimaced at the memory and Koyama started laughing, trying to be quiet, but then he dissolved into giggles and Shige smothered him with the edge of a pillow, watching Koyama's eyes nearly disappear he was grinning so hard, until he quieted down. Shige pulled away the pillow cautiously but all Koyama did was hiccup once and Shige snorted at the ridiculousness of it.
"That was a dare," Koyama said finally, quiet but with a hint a laughter still there. "And a month ago."
"Well, you have all of March to make me less serious. After that it's time to be an adult." He eyed Koyama speculatively. "Though that doesn't seem to have stopped you."
"So serious about having fun, too. Oh, Shige..." Koyama smirked at him. “I could be nice and let you get back to reading your book, but I’m feeling selfish and am going to make you keep talking to me until you fall asleep.”
Shige wrinkled his nose at Koyama. “Yeah, it’s such a chore to listen to you talk. If I fall asleep, though, you have to carry me to bed. If I fall asleep on the couch, I’ll feel like crap in the morning and how’s that for starting my last month as a free man?”
Koyama giggled quietly. “Princess Shige.”
“Hey, call me whatever you want as long as I don’t have to carry myself. I’m tired,” he said, heaving a sigh and unfolding his legs to put his feet in Koyama’s lap.
“Tired from what, you bum? Did you even do anything today? Your last exam was yesterday, wasn’t it?”
“Tired from trying to get you to stop stalking me. I figured if I was boring enough today, you’d lose interest and leave me alone.”
“Shige is never boring,” Koyama said seriously, and Shige leaned up to poke Koyama in the side.
“Lying is a sin.”
Koyama grinned. “I never lie.”
“Whatever…” He wriggled around a bit then jiggled his feet against Koyama’s thighs. “Rub my feet.”
“Really, that only works if you’re Tegoshi.”
Shige gave him puppy eyes.
“Still not working, but nice try.” He pinched one of Shige’s toes.
Koyama spoke quietly to him, words fuzzing sometimes, and Shige’s pauses between replies grew longer and longer until finally he felt hands under his body and he was being carefully lifted.
“Shige is heavier than he looks,” Koyama grunted, and Shige managed a weak “Oi” as he wrapped his arms around Koyama’s neck. Koyama deposited him on his bed less carefully but tucked him in gently. “Sweet dreams, Princess Shige,” he whispered with a giggle and left.
Shige turned on his side, body tingling and warm, thoughts fuzzy and he dreamed of Koyama all in white, and woke with dried tears on his cheeks.
~*~
Shige came home from work late for the second day in a row, practically asleep on his feet, the idea of collapsing into bed without bothering with dinner becoming more and more appealing with each passing moment.
But when he opened the door and was welcomed home not just by Tegoshi’s familiar, enthusiastic bellow, but also by Koyama’s cheerful, nasal tone, Shige figured he could afford to keep his eyes open a little longer.
“How was work?” Koyama asked him from the kitchen when he flopped carelessly into a dining chair.
“I haven’t been this busy since studying to get into Aoyama.” Shige admitted, fighting the urge to rest his head on the table.
“They can recognize a workaholic when they see one.” Koyama was facing away, but it was easy to tell from his voice that he was grinning the same way he always did when he was trying to wind Shige up. “Tegoshi seems to be doing just fine.”
“I like work. The general manager bought lunch for me again today,” Tegoshi added helpfully and Shige rolled his eyes.
“I like it too. It’s tiring, but I like being busy. Unlike some people around here, I actually have a work ethic.” He didn’t tease back too much, though, since Koyama was cooking dinner for them, which meant he’d actually get fed properly before he went to sleep tonight.
As Tegoshi prattled on about how nice everyone at work was, and Koyama worked away at the stove, making noises of acknowledgement at the appropriate times, Shige felt himself relaxing, both mentally and physically.
It seemed strange, because in the very back of his mind, he knew that he still liked Koyama in a way that it wasn't at all appropriate when he was dating Shige's best friend. That in itself should have left him tense and nervous, and in the beginning it had. But he was used to it now. It was two months off Tegoshi and Koyama's one year anniversary - Koyama had already started flooding Shige's inbox with mails asking him for help planning it - and he no longer felt the same twist in his gut when the two of them kissed, or the same pangs of jealousy when Tegoshi curled up in Koyama's lap.
He liked them both, liked spending time with them both, and thought that maybe in the years following, or even months if he were lucky, he would get over Koyama and be left with nothing but the warm feelings of companionship he felt now.
He surveyed the scene in front of him; Koyama in his apron, moving gracefully between the dining room and kitchen, placing steaming bowls of noodles on the table, and Tegoshi with his bright smile and cheery voice. They both looked so happy and, despite the usual undercurrent of longing he couldn't quite suppress, Shige knew he felt the same.
~*~
After a month of working, Shige had fallen into the rhythm and routine of having a full-time job. He still grumbled about overtime and having to take paperwork home - especially when Tegoshi somehow seemed to have twice as much free time as he did - but other than that, all was going smoothly.
It had been a normal, almost boring, week so far, and today had only continued the trend. Shige ran most of the way home from the train station, clutching an umbrella, but was still soaked through by the time he got back. It had poured down all day yesterday as well, and wasn’t showing any signs of letting up. Looked like the rainy season had begun.
“I’m home,” Shige called out, shutting the door behind him, but was greeted by nothing more than dark rooms and silence.
That was odd. Tegoshi almost always beat him home, sometimes by hours. Shige shrugged it off, figuring that maybe he stopped by at the restaurant to see Koyama after work, and went to grab a towel to dry off his hair. He was just sitting down at the table with a cup of tea when Tegoshi breezed through the door, eyes bright and hair and shoulders infuriatingly dry.
"How," Shige started, staring at Tegoshi incredulously, "did you get home without getting even the slightest bit wet?"
"Oh, I'm a little bit wet, see?" he asked, leaning down and pushing his shoulder in Shige's face.
There were a few dark drops scattered across the fabric and he scowled as Tegoshi pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the chair on the way to the kitchen. "That doesn't count. It's coming down by the bucketfuls out there."
"Matsui-san offered to drive me home since we left at the same time and his house is close to here," he replied brightly amidst the sounds of ceramic clinking. “How was work?”
“Good. It was fine. I managed not to bring any of it home with me today, so that’s a nice change.”
Tegoshi came and sat down across from him, taking a sip of his tea before setting it down and grinning widely at Shige. “Good. That means you can take me out to dinner to celebrate tonight. They talked to me today about maybe transferring me to a new branch in Kyoto. I would leave month after next. August. It would mean more responsibility and a small raise, but more room for advancement.”
“You’ve only been there three months!”
“If Shige works hard, he might get promoted too,” Tegoshi said mischievously.
“You little…”
“It’s all about good timing, Shige. I was teasing. You work hard. You’ll get your chance too.”
It felt to him like Tegoshi was talking down to him superiorly again, but they'd been friends long enough for Shige to know it was unintentional, and he sighed, admitting defeat.
"Alright, alright. I'll celebrate with you. What do you want to eat?"
Tegoshi beamed and took a big swallow of his tea.
"That place Massu recommended to us last time was good. Let's go there again."
"Right. Okay."
They finished their tea in relative silence, Tegoshi making a comment here and there, but Shige wasn't really listening.
If Tegoshi left, that meant Koyama wouldn't be coming around as often anymore. Then another thought occurred to him: If Tegoshi left, Shige would either have to find a new roommate, or move out. He couldn't afford the place by himself. He didn't particularly want to find a new place to live, but he didn't want to live with a stranger either, and there was no one he knew who was looking for somewhere to live.
He looked at Tegoshi, with his cheery smile and demeanor and realized that he couldn't have thought this through yet. As usual, Shige was looking at the details and Tegoshi was caught up in the big picture.
He wondered for a moment if he should say something, but then Tegoshi finished his tea, announcing, "I'm going to take a shower, then we'll go out, okay?"
Shige nodded and watched as he took his cup to the kitchen and headed off to the bathroom, noticed the extra spring in his step, and knew that he wouldn't be able to be the one to burst Tegoshi's bubble. He'd have to think through the consequences on his own.
~*~
Early July again and it felt like déjà vu because he was waiting for Tegoshi again, roasting in jeans and a t-shirt, and Tegoshi was late. This time he wasn't surprised to see Tegoshi dragging a laughing Koyama behind him. His breathing didn't stop this time, but he couldn't help the familiar clenching feeling in his stomach that he'd thought he'd conquered months ago. Must just be the nostalgia, he told himself.
"Spare me the gory details," Shige said dryly as they were seated at a table, "but how was your anniversary date yesterday?"
Tegoshi grinned and Koyama smiled shyly.
"It was so much fun! Koyama surprised me with breakfast in bed, you were sleeping still, and then we went to the beach!"
Shige half-listened to the rest as he looked over the menu and kept shooting glances at Koyama's totally in-love face. He wondered briefly if Tegoshi had told him about his plans yet, but was interrupted when Tegoshi's tone changed to sly.
"...and then, well, I didn't come home last night."
"Yes. Thank you, Mr. Obvious, I had noticed."
“Yeah. Then Kei-chan and I…”
“We had a nice dinner at my house, didn’t we?” Koyama interrupted gently, placing a hand over his boyfriend’s on the table and rubbing it with his thumb.
“Oh, yeah. And Kei-chan cooked dinner for me,” Tegoshi added obediently, with an adoring smile in his boyfriend’s direction.
Shige breathed a sigh of relief and made a mental note to thank Koyama later for shutting Tegoshi up.
“So Koyama spoiled you again, I see. Did you even do anything for him in the end?”
Tegoshi’s smirk crept back onto his face at that comment and Shige felt like smacking himself.
“Oh no, I did a lot of nice things for Kei-chan.” He made lewd motions with his hands as he said it, and Shige grabbed the menu, miming hitting him over the head with it.
Koyama laughed as he watched them, looking perfectly relaxed and happy; he joked with Tegoshi, subtly teased him the same way he always did, gave his knee the occasional squeeze under the table. If Tegoshi had told him about his transfer, Shige thought, he was taking it very well. He wanted to ask, but if Koyama didn’t know, it wasn’t Shige’s right to bring it up.
Their food arrived and when Tegoshi started to complain about the coriander sprinkled atop his meal, he forgot all about it in favor of telling Tegoshi how spoiled he was as Koyama began to pick out each little piece for him.
~*~
He found out the answer to his unasked question a couple of days later. He got home from work feeling sweaty and disgusting, because the air-conditioning in his office had broken, and nobody was coming to fix it until tomorrow. He called out his usual greeting as he walked in the door and toed off his shoes, but received no reply.
Tegoshi’s door was shut, so Shige figured he was either sleeping or working on something - probably the former, knowing Tegoshi - and left him alone; if only Tegoshi had the same consideration for him when his door was shut.
Although, Shige admitted grudgingly to himself as he peeled off his suit jacket off and headed for the shower, he’d probably miss it when Tegoshi was gone. Next month. It was hard to believe. He’d barely even given any thought as to what he should do about moving out.
He started on dinner after he’d washed, dried and dressed, and had just put the rice in the cooker when he heard voices coming from Tegoshi’s room. Shige hadn’t even known there’d been an extra person in the house.
He recognized the second voice as being Koyama’s pretty quickly, and his brow furrowed when he realized that he didn’t sound happy. It worried him. Tegoshi and Koyama almost never fought, and when they did, it usually involved Tegoshi blowing his top, stomping off to his room, then coming out all of five minutes later to apologize.
But this time it was Koyama’s voice that Shige could hear, high and upset, ringing out above Tegoshi’s softer tone, and even though he hated the thought of eavesdropping, he couldn’t stop himself from creeping a bit closer and listening in.
"I told you. I can't tell you when I'm coming back, Kei-chan. I don't know," Tegoshi said a bit desperately.
"But... you will be coming back, right?" Koyama's tone was pleading and Shige squirmed a bit, heart aching for him, because he knew Tegoshi hadn't thought that far. The long pause told him he was right.
"I... really don't know. Can't you come with me?"
Shige furrowed his brow. There was no way Koyama would up and leave his family and responsibilities here. Asking him to was nearly cruel.
"That's not fair," Shige barely heard him say. "If you're asking me to choose between you and my family, you know what my answer has to be. This is where my life is. I thought you would be staying in Tokyo. That's what you said."
Shige stepped back, his jaw dropping a bit.
"I can't just pass this up, Koyama. How come I'm the one that has to give up?"
There was a long moment of silence and then Koyama's voice came through, firm and clear but most of all bitter. "I lose both ways, though, don't I? I'm sorry, Tegoshi."
Shige heard the knob rattle and he backed up farther, blinking with disbelief as the door opened and Koyama stepped out. He watched Koyama leave, fresh tears overlaying old tracks as he avoided Shige’s eyes and Shige couldn’t do anything but watch him go, open-mouthed.
“You should have told me you were breaking up with him,” he hissed at Tegoshi when he slipped into his friend's room after Koyama had shut the front door.
Tegoshi had frowned at him. “I didn’t know we were going to break up. It just happened. I told him about the job in Kyoto, how much I wanted it and what it meant to me. He can’t leave his mother or his nephews, or the ramen shop. I understand him. I do. But I can’t give up my chance either,” he said stubbornly. Then Tegoshi hiccupped and the hiccup turned into a choked sob and Shige spent an hour just holding him and letting him cry.
~*~
Shige envied that Tegoshi already had an apartment waiting for him in Kyoto. He recalled now just how painful a process it had been four years ago when he and Tegoshi had been looking and they'd had to try and find something that would work for both of them. At least it was just him now, he supposed, but endless viewing appointments did nothing to raise his mood, and Tegoshi certainly wasn't any help with all his moping. Not that he blamed him, of course, but this was all quite depressing.
"Kato-san?"
He heaved a sigh. "Sorry," he told the real estate agent. "I'll think about this one."
He entered his apartment already whining. "My feet hurt. And all of the apartments are too small or too expensive." He threw himself onto the couch face-first, flopping his legs onto Tegoshi's lap. Tegoshi made a distracted sympathetic noise and Shige stretched out more. "Almost all packed?" he asked, voice muffled by the cushion.
"About that..."
Shige grimaced into the couch and then rose up on an elbow awkwardly and looked over his shoulder at Tegoshi's hopeful face. "Fine, fine. I'll help you pack. Jeez. You're so helpless, I swear."
He kept sneaking looks at Tegoshi's drawn face while he helped him pack, ribbing him gently and prodding him about his new job until Tegoshi finally started laughing and talking excitedly about the move. They ordered in and ate on the floor in front of the T.V. just like they'd done their freshman year and stayed up until Tegoshi fell asleep curled up on the floor. Shige woke him enough to move him to bed and he tucked him in, kneeling next to the bed and watching him breathe. He felt a catch in his own breath and he shook his head. He was going to miss this.
He went out into the living room and sat on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest and laying his cheek against them. Tegoshi was going to be fine. He always was.
He wondered how Koyama was doing.
Part 2