how is babby formed?
honestly, i'm still not sure. with alex, it was years of trying, every test under the son, and multiple procedures.
this time, however? not only were we not trying not one bit, but we were talking about how one and done was starting to sound like a great idea. the universe had other plans for us, that much is obvious.
we found out in november that i am pregnant with our second child. i can barely type that without saying "WAT" in my head, because i can't buy that it's happened. i feel almost like a fraud, that i spent so much time wondering if i'd ever get pregnant in the first place, only to have it happen so unexpectedly the first time. i feel guilt for those who have a hard time, and look at 'people like me' (because i always did) with a sense of... well, it's hard to explain, but a sense that it's just not fair. and that's sort of how i feel.
but, i also feel this sense of tremendous happiness that we'll have a second baby, both for the joy of raising another, and for alex having a sibling. also, being mentally present at the birth of my child would be a nice change, so that's my main childbirth goal this time. :P
so i'm 14 weeks and counting, and i keep meaning to write it down. i'm happy. and grateful for this whole experience so far, because i never thought i'd a) see a pregnancy test that was positive unless we had help, or b) be pregnant again. i can't say i'm happy for how sick, exhausted and headachy i've been, but i really have little ability to complain about it, since i'm still amazed i'm getting to do this again.
this time, however? not only were we not trying not one bit, but we were talking about how one and done was starting to sound like a great idea. the universe had other plans for us, that much is obvious.
we found out in november that i am pregnant with our second child. i can barely type that without saying "WAT" in my head, because i can't buy that it's happened. i feel almost like a fraud, that i spent so much time wondering if i'd ever get pregnant in the first place, only to have it happen so unexpectedly the first time. i feel guilt for those who have a hard time, and look at 'people like me' (because i always did) with a sense of... well, it's hard to explain, but a sense that it's just not fair. and that's sort of how i feel.
but, i also feel this sense of tremendous happiness that we'll have a second baby, both for the joy of raising another, and for alex having a sibling. also, being mentally present at the birth of my child would be a nice change, so that's my main childbirth goal this time. :P
so i'm 14 weeks and counting, and i keep meaning to write it down. i'm happy. and grateful for this whole experience so far, because i never thought i'd a) see a pregnancy test that was positive unless we had help, or b) be pregnant again. i can't say i'm happy for how sick, exhausted and headachy i've been, but i really have little ability to complain about it, since i'm still amazed i'm getting to do this again.