(no subject)
my dad is the hugest moron i have ever met.
okay so i have been smoking for...god...umm, off and on for years.
and recently, well not recently just always, i'm having a breakdown because living with my family is unbearable...and since i dont do drugs anymore im kind of out of ideas for super high stress releiving. so i smoke, it calms me down and i swear without it i would probably just cut myself until i bled to death.
so today my dad sees me smoking at work. and since i never see him unless hes drunk...he doesnt seem to remember that i smoke. which its been so long. so hes all mad blah blah blah... he just came up to me and was like "you lie and hide everything, you're a liar!" apparently he claims i try to hide it and he once saw a pack in my bag and he claimed i told him they were maggies...but i do recall i didnt say a thing as he riped my head off as he always does. so some how saying nothing makes him assume im lieing. even funnier, i smoked when i was in grade 9 and he knew and i smoked in front of him and all of a sudden he cares..right! fuck him. i hate him. hes a stupid alcoholic and the only reason he doesnt remember any of this shit is because hes always so fucking drunk and stoned. what a stupid loser of a father i have. im about to run as far away as i can because i cant stand my family! i hope he goes and dies in a hole! and im sure if i didnt have this horrible man for a father who is the hugest fuck up in the world i wouldnt feel so obligated to end my life that much quicker!
but he doesnt get that...so i will keep my destructive paths and live until the end...
and now im so annoyed and angry i want a cigarette but i dont have any because i smoked them all while i was trying to figure out what kind of nasty things my dad would say to me to shatter my ego into another 765756765 pieces...
i should have just hung out with brad or anyone because being here is like smashing your head in a door even though you know it hurts.
okay so i have been smoking for...god...umm, off and on for years.
and recently, well not recently just always, i'm having a breakdown because living with my family is unbearable...and since i dont do drugs anymore im kind of out of ideas for super high stress releiving. so i smoke, it calms me down and i swear without it i would probably just cut myself until i bled to death.
so today my dad sees me smoking at work. and since i never see him unless hes drunk...he doesnt seem to remember that i smoke. which its been so long. so hes all mad blah blah blah... he just came up to me and was like "you lie and hide everything, you're a liar!" apparently he claims i try to hide it and he once saw a pack in my bag and he claimed i told him they were maggies...but i do recall i didnt say a thing as he riped my head off as he always does. so some how saying nothing makes him assume im lieing. even funnier, i smoked when i was in grade 9 and he knew and i smoked in front of him and all of a sudden he cares..right! fuck him. i hate him. hes a stupid alcoholic and the only reason he doesnt remember any of this shit is because hes always so fucking drunk and stoned. what a stupid loser of a father i have. im about to run as far away as i can because i cant stand my family! i hope he goes and dies in a hole! and im sure if i didnt have this horrible man for a father who is the hugest fuck up in the world i wouldnt feel so obligated to end my life that much quicker!
but he doesnt get that...so i will keep my destructive paths and live until the end...
and now im so annoyed and angry i want a cigarette but i dont have any because i smoked them all while i was trying to figure out what kind of nasty things my dad would say to me to shatter my ego into another 765756765 pieces...
i should have just hung out with brad or anyone because being here is like smashing your head in a door even though you know it hurts.