(no subject)
I'm so crazy right now! look at this and the joy involved! im so happy and bouncy i cant sleep. im going away tomorrow i think, i dont want to go anymore. i want to bounce! but i will get to see my best friend i havent seen since march. i just want to make smores and dance.
my mind is so much bobing in a pile of mixed mesages and emotions and information. im too concerned for my own good. i just can not be concerned. all the wonderful people i have met latley just blow me away. since i have moved to london i have met so many intersting people in good and bad ways. there are people who act so hard done by when they have spent no time even having problems... so lame. most of those people arent real anyways. to be alive is to fend for yourself and experience every emotion on the spectrum. so many of us can just hide ourselves away and hope no one notices, but there is always one person looking out. yeah, its annoying to have someone care when all you want is to be anger and bitter because its so much easier to not have to think a little harder about what is really important. most of us dont realize that the underlaying emotion in all of us is happiness. you just let everything else fall off and the possitive light flows through... sometimes i get so frusterated when you cant just notice something about someone an things get better for them because just any one person cares. but i know i wasnt like that either. paulina spent soo much time hating the way i was and that made us drift apart for a long time. its hard to just turn your life around, but its even more hard when there is no one there encouraging you. all the people that never give up are true inspiration. giving up and falling down constantly is like losing a game thats so simple to win. its just a message you feed your mind. my friend told me to wake up every day and just focus on one thing thats beautiful about the world. like the bird chirping and the production they make in the world. or just make every negative into a possitive. like for instance, i was so overwhelmingly lonely and sad when dan and i broke up i was always aabout maybe getting back together but i realized all the good things that come out of not dating him...
like not feeling encouraged to not go back to school
not doing drugs constantly
not buying him things and lending him money for said drugs
not feeling like someone i care about doesnt care about me...
its just the small things in life that make such a bigger impact on someone.
im giving up on this entry because i feel i rant too much.
im sure i will delete it tomorrow...or something.
my mind is so much bobing in a pile of mixed mesages and emotions and information. im too concerned for my own good. i just can not be concerned. all the wonderful people i have met latley just blow me away. since i have moved to london i have met so many intersting people in good and bad ways. there are people who act so hard done by when they have spent no time even having problems... so lame. most of those people arent real anyways. to be alive is to fend for yourself and experience every emotion on the spectrum. so many of us can just hide ourselves away and hope no one notices, but there is always one person looking out. yeah, its annoying to have someone care when all you want is to be anger and bitter because its so much easier to not have to think a little harder about what is really important. most of us dont realize that the underlaying emotion in all of us is happiness. you just let everything else fall off and the possitive light flows through... sometimes i get so frusterated when you cant just notice something about someone an things get better for them because just any one person cares. but i know i wasnt like that either. paulina spent soo much time hating the way i was and that made us drift apart for a long time. its hard to just turn your life around, but its even more hard when there is no one there encouraging you. all the people that never give up are true inspiration. giving up and falling down constantly is like losing a game thats so simple to win. its just a message you feed your mind. my friend told me to wake up every day and just focus on one thing thats beautiful about the world. like the bird chirping and the production they make in the world. or just make every negative into a possitive. like for instance, i was so overwhelmingly lonely and sad when dan and i broke up i was always aabout maybe getting back together but i realized all the good things that come out of not dating him...
like not feeling encouraged to not go back to school
not doing drugs constantly
not buying him things and lending him money for said drugs
not feeling like someone i care about doesnt care about me...
its just the small things in life that make such a bigger impact on someone.
im giving up on this entry because i feel i rant too much.
im sure i will delete it tomorrow...or something.