craaazy hidekins
so last night my buddy lauren IM'ed me and said "tell me a story"...so this is the story
Once upon a time...
there was a princess named Lauren Paige
and she was the most beauuuutiful princess in the world
and she lived in a large, beautiful castle with her loving family
but, she was still sad
because, she had no magic jesus statue.
So, she found one of her attendants, named cassidy
and said "Cass, go get me a magic jesus statue."
Cassidy, who happened to be wearing a "Jesus is my Homeboy" shirt, said, "No way in hell."
So, Princess Lauren asked her again, and promised the attendant cassidy a new mercedes benz. obviously the slave agreed.
So, attendant cassidy ventured out to the large vicious forests of Bellevue
She slaved away, hiking up hills, cutting tree branches with a machete...until she had made her way to the top of Somerset Hill.
And there, she found it...a magic jesus statue.
However, it looked a lot like a leper, and she wasn't sure if Princess Lauren would approve.
So, she pulled out her cell phone, put on the camera attachment, and sent the picture to her princess, along with a text message saying "Is this fucking good enough!?"
Princess Lauren was ecstatic. She text messaged attendant cassidy back immediately, and said "Yes! Take it!"
So, attendant cassidy attempted to p ick the statue up
But to her dismay, the statue wouldn't budge.
She tried again. And again, and again.
Soon, 4 very scary looking plaid dwarves with squeaky voices came running up to the statue
They quickly accosted Cassidy with their rolley backpacks, and left her for dead at the base of the statue
Luckily, everyone's favorite superhero, MEGANHANLEY! was flying over the Lee theatre at the time, and saw the heinous crime committed against maid cassidy
MEGANHANLEY! swooped down, and quickly attended to Cassidy's wounds
"oh, MEGANHANLEY! Thank you for saving my life! However can I repay you?"
"By giving me a new mercedes benz!"
"Oh...damn. How about a nice volvo instead?"
"That'll work too."
So, Cassidy gave her volvo to MEGANHANLEY! Who drove off happily down to Factoria Mall.
Cassidy had to work quickly, or she would be accosted by the midgets again.
So she stole a jackhammer from the OFFICE OF THE SUPERTIM
and with that wonderful jackhammer, she wretched the magical jesus statue free!
But, to her dismay, Cassidy couldn't carry the statue. It was too heavy!
Luckily, she was able to call MEGANHANLEY! on her cell phone
MEGANHANLEY! raced back to Forest Ridge to transport the Jesus statue to Princess Lauren.
However, on the way there, they saw a taco time, and stopped for a bucket of mexi-fries.
But luckily, they returned to the palace on time with the statue.
"Ohh, Cassidy and MEGANHANLEY! thank you for getting me a magical jesus statue! I'm now the happiest person in the world!"
She gave Cassidy her new mercedes benz
Then, out of nowhere, a large air force jet appeared on the royal landing strip.
A tall, handsome prince stepped out and whisked the princess away with her jesus statue to the Caribbean, where they enjoyed pirate movies and talking parrots.
The end!
apparently its the best story ever!
Once upon a time...
there was a princess named Lauren Paige
and she was the most beauuuutiful princess in the world
and she lived in a large, beautiful castle with her loving family
but, she was still sad
because, she had no magic jesus statue.
So, she found one of her attendants, named cassidy
and said "Cass, go get me a magic jesus statue."
Cassidy, who happened to be wearing a "Jesus is my Homeboy" shirt, said, "No way in hell."
So, Princess Lauren asked her again, and promised the attendant cassidy a new mercedes benz. obviously the slave agreed.
So, attendant cassidy ventured out to the large vicious forests of Bellevue
She slaved away, hiking up hills, cutting tree branches with a machete...until she had made her way to the top of Somerset Hill.
And there, she found it...a magic jesus statue.
However, it looked a lot like a leper, and she wasn't sure if Princess Lauren would approve.
So, she pulled out her cell phone, put on the camera attachment, and sent the picture to her princess, along with a text message saying "Is this fucking good enough!?"
Princess Lauren was ecstatic. She text messaged attendant cassidy back immediately, and said "Yes! Take it!"
So, attendant cassidy attempted to p ick the statue up
But to her dismay, the statue wouldn't budge.
She tried again. And again, and again.
Soon, 4 very scary looking plaid dwarves with squeaky voices came running up to the statue
They quickly accosted Cassidy with their rolley backpacks, and left her for dead at the base of the statue
Luckily, everyone's favorite superhero, MEGANHANLEY! was flying over the Lee theatre at the time, and saw the heinous crime committed against maid cassidy
MEGANHANLEY! swooped down, and quickly attended to Cassidy's wounds
"oh, MEGANHANLEY! Thank you for saving my life! However can I repay you?"
"By giving me a new mercedes benz!"
"Oh...damn. How about a nice volvo instead?"
"That'll work too."
So, Cassidy gave her volvo to MEGANHANLEY! Who drove off happily down to Factoria Mall.
Cassidy had to work quickly, or she would be accosted by the midgets again.
So she stole a jackhammer from the OFFICE OF THE SUPERTIM
and with that wonderful jackhammer, she wretched the magical jesus statue free!
But, to her dismay, Cassidy couldn't carry the statue. It was too heavy!
Luckily, she was able to call MEGANHANLEY! on her cell phone
MEGANHANLEY! raced back to Forest Ridge to transport the Jesus statue to Princess Lauren.
However, on the way there, they saw a taco time, and stopped for a bucket of mexi-fries.
But luckily, they returned to the palace on time with the statue.
"Ohh, Cassidy and MEGANHANLEY! thank you for getting me a magical jesus statue! I'm now the happiest person in the world!"
She gave Cassidy her new mercedes benz
Then, out of nowhere, a large air force jet appeared on the royal landing strip.
A tall, handsome prince stepped out and whisked the princess away with her jesus statue to the Caribbean, where they enjoyed pirate movies and talking parrots.
The end!
apparently its the best story ever!