last couple days.
things that stand out about the last couple days:
had a lunch buddy yesterday, another kid from elementary, it made me giggle that he approached me and thus eliminated both of our lonerisms.
found out the Boys will be back in town for JBB6. i don't think i wanna go.. but at the same time i do. guh... either way it's another chance missed.. and i don't know if i can take that. i can barely think about the concert from last month without crying. yes there's always the what if, and tho all of us know how unlikely i'll play with it for a minute; WHAT IF the dream came true? WHAT IF it actually happened, some how, some way? WHAT IF? here's what.. my heart would shatter into a million pieces. and I would break out and cry right in froont of him, prolly run away in tears and hate myself for the rest of my life. that's what.
served my last detention today... haven't been late at all this week so no detention for a while at least. sad, mrs. abbott is awesome.
gained 2 pounds.. or so my scale says. it's almost the first. guh how depressing, no more october. i wait all freakin year and it feels like it lasts about 2 days. that pisses me off. this october has been hell. i hate that.
speaking of october and hell... not sure what the plan is for halloween. actually.. no plans for halloween yet... open to invitations.
meagan never called me back yesterday so i'm still jobless.. cool huh. and jenelle's work place is out of the question now... so pretty much i'm screwed. maybe that's what i'll do this weekend. guh.
not in the best mood right now cuz of depression/pissed off-ness... not a good combo. also feel a little let down by lots of things and people. but whatever. i don't even care about that.. it's just there to dance in front of me and be irritating. god i'm weird.
i'm done with homework so will prolly just crash out yet again in a little while. makes me sick. bleh.
don't mind me...
had a lunch buddy yesterday, another kid from elementary, it made me giggle that he approached me and thus eliminated both of our lonerisms.
found out the Boys will be back in town for JBB6. i don't think i wanna go.. but at the same time i do. guh... either way it's another chance missed.. and i don't know if i can take that. i can barely think about the concert from last month without crying. yes there's always the what if, and tho all of us know how unlikely i'll play with it for a minute; WHAT IF the dream came true? WHAT IF it actually happened, some how, some way? WHAT IF? here's what.. my heart would shatter into a million pieces. and I would break out and cry right in froont of him, prolly run away in tears and hate myself for the rest of my life. that's what.
served my last detention today... haven't been late at all this week so no detention for a while at least. sad, mrs. abbott is awesome.
gained 2 pounds.. or so my scale says. it's almost the first. guh how depressing, no more october. i wait all freakin year and it feels like it lasts about 2 days. that pisses me off. this october has been hell. i hate that.
speaking of october and hell... not sure what the plan is for halloween. actually.. no plans for halloween yet... open to invitations.
meagan never called me back yesterday so i'm still jobless.. cool huh. and jenelle's work place is out of the question now... so pretty much i'm screwed. maybe that's what i'll do this weekend. guh.
not in the best mood right now cuz of depression/pissed off-ness... not a good combo. also feel a little let down by lots of things and people. but whatever. i don't even care about that.. it's just there to dance in front of me and be irritating. god i'm weird.
i'm done with homework so will prolly just crash out yet again in a little while. makes me sick. bleh.
don't mind me...