(no subject)
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled..
so today is the day my dad died.
i wish i could say something poetic..but i really just have this overwhelming
sensation that the world is unjust. I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE acting like death is nothing
war..acting like a car accident is Karma..you made fun of me you will get traumtized bitch.
i am sick of people acting like they should decide who dies and why..so many of my friends
are so clueless when it comes to things like this.
it makes me mad.
i want to hit them and be like..DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?
it isn't a scold or a slap on the wrists it is death..it's cold..it's ugly
and it is final.
i also hate the holidays as i stated before. IT IS NOT that it is commercial..so what
it makes little kids happy to worship a tree, so be it. Doesn't matter to me.
it's just that i am naturally bitter, cynical, pessamistic
making the fact that i am also a SCROOGE not a surprise
the songs i have heard 242425 times since i was born..
the bright green and red that make my head spin and make me dizzy
the cold.
i see things like a rolling film..which might not make sense, but picture a constant movie
that is really how i view memories and such
and when i see christmas it is too much reflection to gain anything meaningful.
the only x-mas i remember was 96 when my dad died.
i only remember opening a pink tea set from him and not understanding.
wow today really blows..
and david sent a post on myspace telling all the girls to quit posting on his page.
THEY ARE GOING TO THINK I TOLD HIM TOO.
and i know most of them...i don't want them to secretly think i am a controlling bitch because i
did
NOT tell him too.
he just read some meaningless xanga comments and felt firsthand what it is like to have
your love loving everyone.
it just annoyed me.
and he doesn't get that it will just make the girls TRY HARDER to get to him
bah it is just the way girls think..i hate it.
really this time of year is impossible.
so today is the day my dad died.
i wish i could say something poetic..but i really just have this overwhelming
sensation that the world is unjust. I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE acting like death is nothing
war..acting like a car accident is Karma..you made fun of me you will get traumtized bitch.
i am sick of people acting like they should decide who dies and why..so many of my friends
are so clueless when it comes to things like this.
it makes me mad.
i want to hit them and be like..DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?
it isn't a scold or a slap on the wrists it is death..it's cold..it's ugly
and it is final.
i also hate the holidays as i stated before. IT IS NOT that it is commercial..so what
it makes little kids happy to worship a tree, so be it. Doesn't matter to me.
it's just that i am naturally bitter, cynical, pessamistic
making the fact that i am also a SCROOGE not a surprise
the songs i have heard 242425 times since i was born..
the bright green and red that make my head spin and make me dizzy
the cold.
i see things like a rolling film..which might not make sense, but picture a constant movie
that is really how i view memories and such
and when i see christmas it is too much reflection to gain anything meaningful.
the only x-mas i remember was 96 when my dad died.
i only remember opening a pink tea set from him and not understanding.
wow today really blows..
and david sent a post on myspace telling all the girls to quit posting on his page.
THEY ARE GOING TO THINK I TOLD HIM TOO.
and i know most of them...i don't want them to secretly think i am a controlling bitch because i
did
NOT tell him too.
he just read some meaningless xanga comments and felt firsthand what it is like to have
your love loving everyone.
it just annoyed me.
and he doesn't get that it will just make the girls TRY HARDER to get to him
bah it is just the way girls think..i hate it.
really this time of year is impossible.