(no subject)
i spent a long time tonight..re-reading old journal posts and skimming through others'
pages trying to find a hidden reference to myself..i analyzed my old journals, realizing
that i must be extremely smart for writing the way that i did..trying to act like i was
feeling one way..burying other feelings in lines and jokes and pasted convos that were
almost impossible to decipher.
i read my old favorite book..about two 16-year-olds being in love.
and decided it was generic..bad writing..taking teen sterotypes and trying
to turn them into something meaningful.
there is really no such love..no such relationship like the ones in this book.
i spent my night completely without my friends..which..is very rare..it is the way it used
to be when i was more of a loner and such..recently i spend so much time with people..
i almost forgot what it was like to be alone.
so i just tried to be like the old me..get in touch with some old emotions that were
stirred by more recent conversations..
i like re-living the past sometimes..it is good as long as you don't get trapped in it.
and i quit smoking..broke all my cigarettes and walked away without my lighters.
woo.
pages trying to find a hidden reference to myself..i analyzed my old journals, realizing
that i must be extremely smart for writing the way that i did..trying to act like i was
feeling one way..burying other feelings in lines and jokes and pasted convos that were
almost impossible to decipher.
i read my old favorite book..about two 16-year-olds being in love.
and decided it was generic..bad writing..taking teen sterotypes and trying
to turn them into something meaningful.
there is really no such love..no such relationship like the ones in this book.
i spent my night completely without my friends..which..is very rare..it is the way it used
to be when i was more of a loner and such..recently i spend so much time with people..
i almost forgot what it was like to be alone.
so i just tried to be like the old me..get in touch with some old emotions that were
stirred by more recent conversations..
i like re-living the past sometimes..it is good as long as you don't get trapped in it.
and i quit smoking..broke all my cigarettes and walked away without my lighters.
woo.