I am a Russian Breadstick
So Nicole tells me. I preferred being the French bagel.... D:
Though I totally deserve being called a Russian Breadstick. I did forget her birthday, not a week after being told when it was. I AM SO LAME and I CAN'T REMEMBER JACK SHIT. CAPSLOCK ZERRAT
God, I need a proper planner and to use a proper planner. My last two have sat empty all year. GOD. MOAR CAPSLOCK ZERRAT
Having no internet is getting to me. I am so addicted to the internet, it's awful. My palms get sweaty and I itch to check my email. I miss being able to check it one every half hour. D:
I couldn't sound any more pathetic if I tried.
I hope they can fix my laptop, I don't want to keep hogging the one and only Richo computer. It IS somewhat embarrassing. Maybe I should go and hijack the PS3 from Liv, so then I have SOME form of internet access in my room. *DIES A TERRIBLE CAPSLOCK DEATH*
In other news, I am still searching for a beta for my fic, the Seventh Neck of Orochi. This saddens me. Nobody wants a bar of Souma, not even to abuse him. ;_;
Oh well, so long as people are reading at all, I guess. After all, most hated character in the fandom, and I'm still getting hits? HELL YES.
I managed to save all my writing notes and folders, and put them on a 4gig stick. So if worse comes to worse, I have all of my notes for my various fics and unfinished chapters on there.
Geez, what would I do if I lost all my older work? Like my original stuff from year 8? I know I can do better now, and looking back at it makes me cringe, but that stuff was still mine, it's a part of how my writing style has grown. To lose it would be to lose an essential part of my childhood. Hours, months spent in front of a computer, trying to get out that fic that plagued me.
*sigh*
It's been a while since I was able to write original stuff properly. I think my biggest problem is actually starting a story. I can continue a story (so long as I still feel the magic), but starting (and concluding) a story are, by far, my biggest weaknesses. I basically stare at the blank page, this whole, epic story rolling around in my head.
And I just stare at it.
How do I start that story? How do I give it the justice it deserves? I start to doubt myself, and those doubts create more doubts, until I can no longer write at all.
It drives me nuts.
Fanfiction, I've found, it both harder and easier for me to write. I have the benefit of a ready made world, existing characters to use. I don't have to explain why there are cybots, or mechanized gods, or why Toan has a powerful gem that builds shit. You know? It's easier to just write.
I can jump straight into working on the direct plot. If I want giant mechs based on the four Chinese constellations, I'll lay the groundwork for it in the story, but without the added pressure of first establishing why there are giant mechs in the first place.
Sounds lazy, right? But that's only half the story.
On the other side of fanfic, you have to convincingly portray the character, learn their voice, their actions, their mannerisms. Do they swear? How do they swear? What do they do in their spare time? I can't portray a country boy like Toan as a chain-smoking, gun-totting mercanary. That's not who he is. Neither is Kittan some soft, touchy-feely new age sensitive guy. He's gruff, he's loud, obnoxious, but he's also a jerk with a heart of gold and the drive to protect those around him, no matter the cost.
The only main characters I have drastically (or subtlely) changed from their canon selves are Meg and Souma. Both of these are for a reason, other than arbitarily deciding that they're going to be OOC.
Souma has been highly influenced by Tsubasa most of his life, so of course he's going to be more watchful. With a paranoid underworld figure teaching him stuff, someone who he respects and loves. They're brothers, so in this scenario, Tsubasa influences Souma. It's that extra wariness, being able to think more critically and being aware of his surroundings, that's going to change the outcome of the show.
Meg's change was quite a lot more drastic than Souma's. In the anime, she was the basic damsel in distress, teh weakness. To use a TV trope, she was the Weight. In a team of four agents, she was the weakest link. In the fic, five years later, she's no longer the weakest link. Apart from some of her attitudes, she's one of the strongest links in the team. Though this was aluded to in both the 3-min video and the end of the series, it's still a drastic change.
But in spite of showing how she's changed, I equally have to show how she hasn't changed. She still argues with Amy, she still cops an attitude with Sei, she screws up when she loses her focus, she overreacts and she is quite a (troping time again!) tsundere at times. Because of these traits, I can still confidently say that even with the changes to her overall capability levels and maturity, she is still the same character from the show.
The devil's always in the detail, and sometimes I think fanfic naysayers forget that.