The Promise: a poem

[electrcspacegrl]

I remember
my first
downtown apartment.
We were bright and young.
We were fragile,
electric
and new.

Wishful girls
in the spotlight.
Red lips,
glitter eyeshadow.
The city calling to us
like a promising
heartbeat.
Cold night,
dilated eyes, high
and on fire.

We wore black skirts
and flannel shirts.
We were ready.
Waiting
in our combat boots,
waiting with the promise of

him.

Him. The shock of his skin.
His words-
a sweet halo.
The soft
unrequited
wish
of his blond hair.

I remember
a small apartment
in North Portland.
A bad breakup.
In the dark
we promised
NEVER AGAIN.

And I remember
our new rule:
GIRL MUSIC ONLY.

And we danced
like dark fireworks,
shooting into the night sky
like manic stars.

Finally we fell
to an empty earth.
We saw no shiny thing,
no
god
at all.

But we had
the promise,
a sad boy
and an even sadder guitar.
His heart-shaped box;
his love
wrapped in a suicide note.

I remember

my last words to her:
“We will never
be friends
again."

The broken
promise
of being nineteen,
and the wet, unforgiving lie

of goodbye.