(no subject)
i walked down to the water. i don't know why. it carried me there, the slow breeze in the sky, the pounding in my throat. i couldn't keep count of the beats but i knew there were too many. the water was still, almost too still. time was moving, everywhere people were moving, but i had stopped. it was on my honor. time hadn't stopped. a restlessness woke me, a feeling that something was supposed to happen. photographs in the water of a girl lying on a wooden floor, of a girl leaning against a dimly lit wall in an old white house, that old white house. an eruption. the still water. a girl drops down in front of me to read and suddenly i remember. the bag on my shoulders weighs me down and i remember. i need to get inside. my steps are too swift and inaccurate. i barely make it to the building before it hazes over. i stop and close my eyes. the pounding doesn't slow. i open my eyes and it's still there. i have opened my eyes but cannot shift my attention. i don't know what to focus on anymore now that i've lost myself.