(no subject)
I have had a really difficult time this semester due to an over-the-top workload. I'm seeing more clients than is ethically sound (while getting fucked in my paycheck), so things have been kind of stressful. I am not in the greatest place right now and had to temporarily move back into my parent's house to house-sit while they are on vacation which means I'm really isolated. I've been upset because I feel so alone and I get angry with my friends because I feel like no one is really helping me out in my bad frame of mind or cares (which is probably not true, my brain is just twisting things up). But, tonight, as I was ruminating on this thought, I remembered the song Empty Cans by Mike Skinner. I love this song (I love the whole album "A Grand Don't Come For Free") and it's meaning. These particular lyrics stuck out to me tonight:
Or maybe it's that I realized that it is true
No one's really there fighting for you in the last garrison
No one except yourself that is
No one except you
You are the one who's got your back 'til the last deeds done
Scott can't have my back 'til the absolute end
'Cause he's got to look out for what over his horizon
He's gotta make sure he's not lonely, not broke
It's enough to worry about keeping his own head above
I can't expect others to save the day for me because in the end, we all have our own lives and are dealing with our own shit. This makes me less angry if not less depressed. So I'm sorry to any friends reading this that I've been nasty to lately. I wish I didn't get so resentful of others when I'm unhappy. I mostly wish that I will be able to enjoy things again soon and get some sleep (it's been about 3 days with only a few hours now). I think I'll feel better then. Right now I really feel like I'm drowning.
Or maybe it's that I realized that it is true
No one's really there fighting for you in the last garrison
No one except yourself that is
No one except you
You are the one who's got your back 'til the last deeds done
Scott can't have my back 'til the absolute end
'Cause he's got to look out for what over his horizon
He's gotta make sure he's not lonely, not broke
It's enough to worry about keeping his own head above
I can't expect others to save the day for me because in the end, we all have our own lives and are dealing with our own shit. This makes me less angry if not less depressed. So I'm sorry to any friends reading this that I've been nasty to lately. I wish I didn't get so resentful of others when I'm unhappy. I mostly wish that I will be able to enjoy things again soon and get some sleep (it's been about 3 days with only a few hours now). I think I'll feel better then. Right now I really feel like I'm drowning.