Agitation, Part 2
for the nonmembers of 2mins4slashing:
Title: Agitation (2/6)
Authors: jennyagain and eleanoraq
Pairing: David Krejci/Blake Wheeler(/Matt Hunwick) (Boston Bruins)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (A sequel to The Fix, which is a sequel to Game Face, which is a sequel to The Forest.) Everyone has secrets.
Disclaimer: The following is for entertainment purposes only. Real people, places, and things appear, but the work is complete fiction, and there is no intent to defame, insult, or slander. No money is being made. Any and all errors belong solely to the authors.
Notes: Part 1 is here.
Agitation ~ part 2
David Krejci enjoyed having Blake as a road roommate in large part because Blake's life was boring. He didn't have a ton of guests, his phone didn't ring at all hours of the night, he rinsed the toothpaste out of the sink. His girlfriend wasn't outwardly psychotic. He was willing to be patient when David couldn't figure out the English language.
Yes, there was more. David wanted Blake. He wanted to fuck him, wanted to be fucked by him, everything like that, but he had also become totally comfortable with the fact that nothing would ever happen between them. They were teammates. He might enjoy the view when Blake got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair sticking up every which way, his muscular frame on display, but they'd never have more than that.
David was completely comfortable with how much he wanted Blake, but even more comfortable with routine and friendship and video games and goofing off, stuff like the Chinese take-out and video games extravaganza they'd had a few days ago at Matt's place. That was cool. He would not be the one to disrupt what they had going.
The team had gotten into Atlanta later than they'd been anticipating. David had been dead tired and had fallen into bed as soon as he'd hung up his suit and brushed his teeth. He woke up again, though, when he heard Blake's voice outside their hotel room door.
"We can't do anything here, everyone is staying on this floor. It's too risky." Blake's voice reached his ears, at this point unmistakeable. Well gosh, Wheels, don't say anything that might make me want to listen in, you know.
"I know, I know, I was just getting some fucking ice, Wheels." The reply came in a sharp, sarcastic whisper. "I'm allowed to leave my room for reasons other than butt-fucking and blowjobs in the stairwell."
David suddenly found he was no longer sleepy. He sat there, frozen, not really believing what he was hearing. Whose voice is that?
"Whatever, Munch," he heard Blake say in a half-whisper, "can you blame me for getting like this when I see you?"
Munch? Matt? Blake was thinking about fucking when he saw Matt Hunwick?
David was overwhelmed by a dizzy feeling--this must be what the guys meant when they explained the saying "blow your mind"--because he actually had had a feeling like a massive gust of wind had just slammed into him, thrown everything in his brain into the clouds, tumbling over, blown to bits. Matt and Blake were still talking outside the door, but he no longer cared what they were saying.
He didn't have time to recover--the scraps of his brain were still being tossed around in the windstorm--before he heard Blake's key in the lock, and the door opened.
David thought about pretending to be asleep as his roommate came back in, but then Blake tripped over a pile of his own laundry, stubbed his toe on the foot of David's bed, and made a rather unmanly sound as he'd bounced up and down on his unhurt foot. Once David snickered, there was no point in pretending to be sleeping, so David pushed himself up in bed, turned on the light, and looked at Blake.
"Motherfucker," Blake said, squinting in the new light.
"Your mother or mine?" David asked, trying to calm his over-beating heart. Should he try to talk to Blake about what he'd heard? Should be pretend he hadn't heard? It was still echoing in his mind, Blake's voice...
Blake grimaced, sat on the side of his bed at the edge of the pool of light from David's bedside lamp. He was rubbing his foot, prodding his sore toe, staring at David.
David's heart began to race again.
"Krej..." Blake said, studiously looking at the wall behind David's head, "You didn't hear me in the hall, did you?"
"Talking to Matt?"
Blake's eyes darted back to David's, and he went completely pale, his face the definition of horrified. David realized belatedly that he'd given himself away. Oh well, he wasn't any good at hiding things anyway. David held Blake's eyes, tried to smile reassuringly. This would be a good time to be charming.
Blake fiddled nervously with his shirt cuffs, sneaking glances at David every other moment. Silence sat between them, the minutes stretching out as they each tried to figure out how to talk about this, if this needed to be talked about. David knew he needed to say something, tell Blake that he could keep secrets, something like that. The clock on the bedside table, though, marked only long moments of silence between them.
Blake spoke suddenly, still eyeing the floor nervously. His voice wavered, and he paused between words, as if he were short of breath. "This past summer, last summer, Matt came to visit me at my lake place in Minnesota. It wasn't supposed to happen, you know? But, well, it did, we--" Blake paused again and swallowed, biting his bottom lip for a second before continuing, "We hooked up--and David, man, I will fucking murder you if you tell anyone any of this--" Another pause, another swallow, "It wasn't just a one-time thing. Like, not even close."
David heard Blake mumble something that sounded like, "I can't believe I'm telling you this," then Blake looked down at his hands in his lap. After a moment of silence--David supposed Blake was readying himself for a barrage of gay insults--he raised his eyes. David smiled encouragingly again as if to say, "No problems here."
Blake smiled weakly back at him, and finished, "Once the season started... we..." Then he sighed again, deeply, and his eyes flickered up to the ceiling, avoiding David seemingly at all costs. "We, uh, picked up where we left off."
David tried to figure out the best thing to say, and then work out how to say it in English. Blake was in distress, this was obvious; he sat now with eyes wide, still pale, looking slightly sick to his stomach, his jaw tight, biting his lip. David knew the wrong words could make things very bad very quickly; unfortunately, this sort of conversation wasn't really covered in the tutorials he'd had.
He pulled his knees up and rested his his elbows on them, leaning towards Blake, no longer lying down. "Blake, I... okay, first of all," David felt himself tripping over the words as the stress of the situation engulfed him. "First thing, this is all okay. I won't tell anyone. You can trust me with this, you know?"
Blake exhaled, visibly relieved if not yet completely at ease.
"And then, second," David continued. "I have to ask, because she is my friend: what about Kristen?"
"She knows," Blake said quietly, smirking slightly, still avoiding eye contact. "She knows. Yeah, she's okay."
"Does anyone else know?"
"Nope," Blake said. "Unless Matt told someone, but he wouldn't do that. You won't tell anyone?"
"Absolutely, yes, I promise. No one."
"Not even Matt."
"Wheels, I hate to tell you--" David enjoyed seeing Blake freeze, obviously apprehensive about what was about to be said "--I think Matt already knows."
Blake smiled wanly at David's attempt to lighten the mood, but his jaw was still clenched. After another moment had passed in silence with David waiting for a cue, Blake stood suddenly and took a few tentative steps towards David, pleading with him. "Seriously, dude, Matt can't know you know. I mean it. He'll flip out at me."
"No problem, I get it."
"You really won't tell?"
"Blake," David said, aiming for patient but sounding annoyed. Blake looked sheepish, and David felt a little bit bad. "I promise," David finished, and this time when Blake smiled it reached his eyes.
Blake shifted his weight on his feet, as if his feet were ready to end the conversation and were itching to move on. Then he awkwardly jerked a thumb over one shoulder. "Well, if that's it, then I'm gonna go, you know, brush my teeth," Blake muttered quietly. He hesitated for a second, then shuffled to the bathroom.
David lay back on his bed, listening to Blake fussing around in the bathroom. As Blake changed his clothes, scrounged in his suitcase, and finally stretched out on his bed, David's eyes followed, only looking away when Blake looked in his direction.
A few moments later, after they had flipped out the light, David figured out what he could say to Blake; he found sudden boldness there in the dark. Finally, he thought. Took you long enough, you moron. "Blake?"
"Yeah, Krej?"
"You can know a secret of mine too."
He heard Blake chuckle gently, his voice muffled next to his pillow. "Awesome. Hit me."
"I've, ahh--" he paused, bracing himself "--I've slept with men too. Not on the Bruins, not a teammate. But I've had sex with guys. So..." David let his voice trail off, held his breath for a moment.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Huh," Blake said. "That is not what I expected."
"Okay, now we have each other's guy-fucking secrets, we can sleep in peace."
Blake laughed--God, David loved making Blake laugh--and he heard the sheets rustle as Blake turned on his side. "Good night, Krej."
"Good night, Blake."
After a pause, he heard Blake's voice again, quiet and tentative, so unlike Blake's sunny, outgoing self: "Krej?"
"What?"
"Thank you."
::
David leaned against the headboard in yet another half-dark hotel room on the road--Buffalo, this time--his brain still spinning wildly in his skull after a few post-game drinks with the boys. He could hear Blake puttering around in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. David was drunk and horny, and he was confused, even tantalized by Blake's confession the night before.
Blake strode into the room, rubbing his eyes with one hand and yawning widely. "Fuck me, I'm tired."
"Yeah, that was quite a game," replied David, eyeing Blake's ass as he bent over his suitcase. Nice view, he thought to himself. "You drunk?"
"Positively fucking hammered."
"Oh, we're going to be happy in the morning, huh?"
"Definitely. Something tells me we'll sleep on the plane."
Blake stood up, paused and then looked at David over his shoulder. "Hey, David,--" Blake hesitated "--you said you'd, you know, slept with guys before, right?"
David looked at him sharply--where did that come from, Wheels?--or as sharply as his alcohol-addled brain would allow him, since turning his head that quickly caused his eyes to see trails behind everything in his line of sight. And more importantly, where exactly is it going? His imagination started spitting out a million possibilities, some of them making his mouth a bit dry, others making his pulse race. Say it, Wheels, say what I want you to say. "Yes, why?"
"Have you ever thought about any of our teammates?"
The spinning room stopped on a dime and started accelerating in the other direction, and David felt the sudden lurch right in his stomach. Any of our teammates. Present company not included. Oh boy.
David laughed nervously. "Really? Are we having time for more secrets?"
Blake flopped himself down on the empty half of David's bed and flung his arms up above his head, revealing a strip of skin across his stomach. David tried not to stare. "Yup, more secrets," and then it was Blake's turn to giggle. "So many secrets."
"I know your big secret."
"I have a crush on a boy."
"Holy shit, Wheels." And with that, they both collapsed into uncontrollable laughter. Blake's voice echoed back and forth in David's skull: I have a crush on a boy, Blake repeated, crush on a boy, crush on a boy. The sound of those words made David giddy and manic.
David ended up doubled over, his stomach muscles starting to ache with too much laughter. He found himself leaning in towards Blake, who managed to push himself up onto the headboard next to David, brushing against him in the process. By the time they caught their breath, they were propping each other up, Blake leaning his head on David's shoulder.
"I know, Krej," Blake paused, still wheezing a bit from all the laughter. "No seriously, Krej, I have a crush on a guy. On Munch."
"Yeah, I know, Blake."
"He has curly hair."
"Yeah."
"It's nice."
"Is this going to be your secret? That Matt Hunwick has curly hair? Wheels, that is not a good secret. You need a better one."
Blake's face became very serious. "David, do you like Matty's curls?"
David could not think of a single thing to say in this moment that would not incriminate him. Fuck yes he liked Matt's curls. He liked his curls and he wanted him in his bed. He wanted to know if Blake got to run his hands through Matt's curls when they were fucking, wanted to see those curls against his neck, sweaty and flushed. He wanted Blake and now, knowing about Blake and Matt, he wanted Matt too. Dangerous, he reminded himself, this could be dangerous.
So David didn't say anything at all.
Blake didn't seem to mind. He continued, grinning devilishly. "You do, don't you!"
David suddenly felt awfully confused. How drunk is Blake anyway? He ran through the last few moments of conversation in his mind, translating their words into Czech and back again, to make sure he hadn't missed something. He wondered if maybe he was the one who was drunk and not making any sense.
Blake started giggling again, still leaning on David. He tilted his head up, eyes on David's face. "David, I want you and Matty."
And with that, the room stopped spinning altogether, and the lurch in David's stomach was more powerful than before. But... in a good way. Blake wanted him? Very, very drunk, David responded to his own prior question. Both of us. His mouth went dry. "Blake, what do you mean?"
Blake sat up, and David immediately regretted that Blake was no longer touching him. "You and Matty. Munch. Together. I want that. I want to watch you--um--"
Despite their unfortunate lack of physical contact, David could feel the heat radiating off of Blake. He kept his eyes on Blake's face, tried to steady himself and his nerves--and his horniness--as Blake kept explaining.
"I want to watch you kiss him, want to watch you touch his curls, see your fingers in them. I want to watch you, you know, together."
Blake put some meaningful emphasis on that last word, and David swallowed hard, considering. He'd been wrong, apparently: Blake didn't want David himself, he wanted David to be with Matt.
David thought he might be able to work with that.
Blake lay down on his back, laying his head on David's knees and closing his eyes, a blissful smile on his face. Without thinking, David started to play with Blake's hair, making it stick straight up, then in all different directions, then all to one side. It was soft hair, thick, and it felt wonderful between his fingers, and playing with it made warm, fuzzy, gooey feelings puddle in his stomach. Blake, his brain echoed, oh Blake.
"You are thinking about dirty things, Wheels," he said, hoping Blake understood that by saying that, David meant he wanted to hear more about these thoughts.
Blake laughed loudly. His eyes flew open, fixed on a point on the ceiling. "Yeah, I kind of am," he said. He turned his gaze on David, a grin sneaking onto his face. "Are you?"
David averted his gaze.
"You are!" Blake crowed, kicking his legs and clapping his hands gleefully, a happy drunk. "Are you thinking about Munch's curls? I love his curls."
David sighed. Might as well. "I am. I am thinking about Munch's curls."
Blake giggled again and locked his eyes on David's. "Sorry I don't have curls like his."
David continued, his fingers still running through Blake's hair. "I am also thinking about what you said about me and Munch. About wanting to see us together."
Blake stopped giggling, focusing on David, his face eager, eyes bright with alcohol and flirting.
"I am..." David paused and sighed, surrendering to the moment. "I am also thinking sometimes about you."
Blake sat up and pushed himself back against the headboard again, pulling his head out from under David's aimless caresses and sitting upright next to him. "You're thinking about me?"
Suddenly awkward, David broke their eye contact and looked down at his lap again. The back of Blake's head knocked against the headboard as Blake clumsily settled back. "Ow," Blake said quietly. And then--thank God--the smile started to creep back onto his face. He turned towards David.
"Munch thought we were fucking, you know, you and me," Blake said. "He asked me if we were fucking."
Whoa. "Really?"
Blake nodded. David couldn't help but smile, pleased at the thought, and in his inebriated state, he couldn't help but let the smile melt into more giggles. Through the laughter, Blake continued. "He asked if we were fucking because he thought I was flirting with you."
David froze. "Were you?"
Blake smiled gently and caught his eye, holding it there. "I think I was." Blake paused, not looking away. "Oops."
David's mouth suddenly went dry. Again. He leaned in slowly, and gently kissed Blake, cupping Blake's face in his hands. Blake turned towards him fully, and leaned more into him.
Emboldened, David moved his hands to Blake's shoulders, and felt a thrill up his spine as Blake took the opportunity to put his own hands on the back of David's neck. David shifted his body down on the bed, pulling Blake down over him, feeling the weight of Blake's body on his, the warmth of his skin, the taste of his mouth, with just a hint of liquor on his breath.
He pulled away, reveling in the little pout of protest on Blake's face. He smiled up at Blake, who busied himself with David's neck. David wasn't sure if the dizziness was from the alcohol anymore. Blake's hands on him, down over his chest, at his waist... the room, which had been at a standstill for several solid minutes, began whirling again.
"Blake, this is my other secret," David whispered, not really caring if Blake heard him or not, stumbling over his English as he lost focus on translating in his own head. "I want you... I have wanted you... I want this."
Without a response from Blake, their lips found each other's again, and David lost himself in the surging sensations of the moment. He felt Blake hook his thumbs in his waistband. David ducked his head and kissed Blake's neck, tasting his sweat from the crowded bar, a twinge of the taste of booze. He moved his lips upwards, planting kisses along Blake's jawline, feeling the rough texture of his stubble, coarse against his mouth, scraping his tongue. Blake tipped his head backwards, inviting more, and David was only too happy to oblige. All he could smell and taste was Blake's skin; all he could see was his neck, his shoulders; he could feel Blake's hands exploring his body, and David gasped as Blake's finger grazed a particularly sensitive spot on his lower back.
"Fuck," David said, inhaling sharply. He splayed out his fingers, dragging their tips down Blake's torso. Blake closed his eyes and pursed his lips, exhaling slowly, as if gaining his bearings.
"David," Blake said, and David pulled back, his eyes grazing over Blake's face, a lazy, sexy smile on his lips.
"Yes, Wheels?"
"How drunk are you?" Blake asked, eyes on David's face.
"Pretty drunk." David made his charming grin again. "Why're you asking?"
"Mmm," Blake said in answer, and he kissed David again. Blake moved to pull back from David, but David's hand caught the back of Blake's neck, kept him close, and kept kissing him. Then David put his mouth close to Blake's ear. "Blake?"
Blake finally crawled off of David, sat next to him on the bed. "Mmm?"
David reached out to touch the hem of Blake's shirt, then said, "You said you wanted me with Matt, but--that was before now, before--this. Do you still? Do you want me, too?"
Blake frowned a little. David looked up at him, trying to read if Blake was completely out of touch with his senses, if he was just humoring David, if he was playing some kind of sick joke or--worst of all--if this somehow was some kind of strange dream brought on by a combination hotel-brand shampoo and excessive drinking. Then Blake's frown suddenly brightened, and Blake looked up again, apparently in awe of his own realization.
"I want you both."
David replayed Blake's response on loop for a moment--I want you both... I want you both... I want you both...--until his thoughts were interrupted by the sudden return of Blake's troubled expression. "Fuck," Blake said, his voice almost cracking, "I want you both."
::
David did not see himself as having particularly complex desires. When he thought about his want for Blake, it wasn't some kind of twisted, out-of-control roommate-affection thing. No, he saw Blake and wanted to have sex with Blake. Period. He didn't really care about labels or what he was or wasn't supposed to want sexually. He just did or did not want.
Having just kissed Blake for the first time, he wanted. Badly.
With Blake stretched out on top of him, their legs tangled together, with Blake's hands all over him and his mouth tentative but earnest on David's own, David's brain refused to stop second-guessing his cock. Really, it had all been too easy, too much of a coincidence, too much like an alcohol-and-shampoo hallucination: Hey, I want this guy really badly, but he's my teammate and my road roomie and has a gorgeous woman in his life. But wait! Guess what: turns out he actually does have sex with teammates, and not only that, but he's confiding in you about it. But wait! There's more! He's fantasized about you fucking this other incredibly hot teammate who has sex with him. And, best of all, his lips were just all over you, and you got to touch him in very not-teammate-like ways. Let's keep going! Put your hands in his pants!
Amazing. Also, too good to be true. The realization of his fantasy had made David's good sense crumble in an instant, but Blake was clearly trying to figure things out, and suddenly rationality regained control. This was a bad, bad, bad idea, David thought. Bad.
"Blake, wait." David moved out from under Blake, scooted back up to lean against the headboard once more. He sat on his hands, not knowing what else to do with them. "I--fuck, I don't know what to say."
Blake sat up as well, facing David. "Well, try with whatever words you know, I can help you figure it out."
"No, Blake, I mean, I know the English, it's just that, you know, this is all kind of... I just found out about you and Munch and now we are here doing this, and also you want us both. This is a lot, you know?"
"Yeah, it is a lot." Blake turned away from him and sighed heavily. "The whole thing is kind of... complicated."
"I want you, Blake," David said quietly, bringing one hand up to stroke Blake's cheek. Blake leaned into the touch with a sheepish look on his face. "But before that, I am here for you. And here for Matt. I sound stupid and cheesy, yes, but it's true. You have your... complicatedness--" David paused and kissed Blake gently and briefly, not caring what the alcohol and fatigue and Blake's warm skin next to his was doing to his English "--and then we have wantings later on."
Title: Agitation (2/6)
Authors: jennyagain and eleanoraq
Pairing: David Krejci/Blake Wheeler(/Matt Hunwick) (Boston Bruins)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: (A sequel to The Fix, which is a sequel to Game Face, which is a sequel to The Forest.) Everyone has secrets.
Disclaimer: The following is for entertainment purposes only. Real people, places, and things appear, but the work is complete fiction, and there is no intent to defame, insult, or slander. No money is being made. Any and all errors belong solely to the authors.
Notes: Part 1 is here.
Agitation ~ part 2
David Krejci enjoyed having Blake as a road roommate in large part because Blake's life was boring. He didn't have a ton of guests, his phone didn't ring at all hours of the night, he rinsed the toothpaste out of the sink. His girlfriend wasn't outwardly psychotic. He was willing to be patient when David couldn't figure out the English language.
Yes, there was more. David wanted Blake. He wanted to fuck him, wanted to be fucked by him, everything like that, but he had also become totally comfortable with the fact that nothing would ever happen between them. They were teammates. He might enjoy the view when Blake got out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his hips, his hair sticking up every which way, his muscular frame on display, but they'd never have more than that.
David was completely comfortable with how much he wanted Blake, but even more comfortable with routine and friendship and video games and goofing off, stuff like the Chinese take-out and video games extravaganza they'd had a few days ago at Matt's place. That was cool. He would not be the one to disrupt what they had going.
The team had gotten into Atlanta later than they'd been anticipating. David had been dead tired and had fallen into bed as soon as he'd hung up his suit and brushed his teeth. He woke up again, though, when he heard Blake's voice outside their hotel room door.
"We can't do anything here, everyone is staying on this floor. It's too risky." Blake's voice reached his ears, at this point unmistakeable. Well gosh, Wheels, don't say anything that might make me want to listen in, you know.
"I know, I know, I was just getting some fucking ice, Wheels." The reply came in a sharp, sarcastic whisper. "I'm allowed to leave my room for reasons other than butt-fucking and blowjobs in the stairwell."
David suddenly found he was no longer sleepy. He sat there, frozen, not really believing what he was hearing. Whose voice is that?
"Whatever, Munch," he heard Blake say in a half-whisper, "can you blame me for getting like this when I see you?"
Munch? Matt? Blake was thinking about fucking when he saw Matt Hunwick?
David was overwhelmed by a dizzy feeling--this must be what the guys meant when they explained the saying "blow your mind"--because he actually had had a feeling like a massive gust of wind had just slammed into him, thrown everything in his brain into the clouds, tumbling over, blown to bits. Matt and Blake were still talking outside the door, but he no longer cared what they were saying.
He didn't have time to recover--the scraps of his brain were still being tossed around in the windstorm--before he heard Blake's key in the lock, and the door opened.
David thought about pretending to be asleep as his roommate came back in, but then Blake tripped over a pile of his own laundry, stubbed his toe on the foot of David's bed, and made a rather unmanly sound as he'd bounced up and down on his unhurt foot. Once David snickered, there was no point in pretending to be sleeping, so David pushed himself up in bed, turned on the light, and looked at Blake.
"Motherfucker," Blake said, squinting in the new light.
"Your mother or mine?" David asked, trying to calm his over-beating heart. Should he try to talk to Blake about what he'd heard? Should be pretend he hadn't heard? It was still echoing in his mind, Blake's voice...
Blake grimaced, sat on the side of his bed at the edge of the pool of light from David's bedside lamp. He was rubbing his foot, prodding his sore toe, staring at David.
David's heart began to race again.
"Krej..." Blake said, studiously looking at the wall behind David's head, "You didn't hear me in the hall, did you?"
"Talking to Matt?"
Blake's eyes darted back to David's, and he went completely pale, his face the definition of horrified. David realized belatedly that he'd given himself away. Oh well, he wasn't any good at hiding things anyway. David held Blake's eyes, tried to smile reassuringly. This would be a good time to be charming.
Blake fiddled nervously with his shirt cuffs, sneaking glances at David every other moment. Silence sat between them, the minutes stretching out as they each tried to figure out how to talk about this, if this needed to be talked about. David knew he needed to say something, tell Blake that he could keep secrets, something like that. The clock on the bedside table, though, marked only long moments of silence between them.
Blake spoke suddenly, still eyeing the floor nervously. His voice wavered, and he paused between words, as if he were short of breath. "This past summer, last summer, Matt came to visit me at my lake place in Minnesota. It wasn't supposed to happen, you know? But, well, it did, we--" Blake paused again and swallowed, biting his bottom lip for a second before continuing, "We hooked up--and David, man, I will fucking murder you if you tell anyone any of this--" Another pause, another swallow, "It wasn't just a one-time thing. Like, not even close."
David heard Blake mumble something that sounded like, "I can't believe I'm telling you this," then Blake looked down at his hands in his lap. After a moment of silence--David supposed Blake was readying himself for a barrage of gay insults--he raised his eyes. David smiled encouragingly again as if to say, "No problems here."
Blake smiled weakly back at him, and finished, "Once the season started... we..." Then he sighed again, deeply, and his eyes flickered up to the ceiling, avoiding David seemingly at all costs. "We, uh, picked up where we left off."
David tried to figure out the best thing to say, and then work out how to say it in English. Blake was in distress, this was obvious; he sat now with eyes wide, still pale, looking slightly sick to his stomach, his jaw tight, biting his lip. David knew the wrong words could make things very bad very quickly; unfortunately, this sort of conversation wasn't really covered in the tutorials he'd had.
He pulled his knees up and rested his his elbows on them, leaning towards Blake, no longer lying down. "Blake, I... okay, first of all," David felt himself tripping over the words as the stress of the situation engulfed him. "First thing, this is all okay. I won't tell anyone. You can trust me with this, you know?"
Blake exhaled, visibly relieved if not yet completely at ease.
"And then, second," David continued. "I have to ask, because she is my friend: what about Kristen?"
"She knows," Blake said quietly, smirking slightly, still avoiding eye contact. "She knows. Yeah, she's okay."
"Does anyone else know?"
"Nope," Blake said. "Unless Matt told someone, but he wouldn't do that. You won't tell anyone?"
"Absolutely, yes, I promise. No one."
"Not even Matt."
"Wheels, I hate to tell you--" David enjoyed seeing Blake freeze, obviously apprehensive about what was about to be said "--I think Matt already knows."
Blake smiled wanly at David's attempt to lighten the mood, but his jaw was still clenched. After another moment had passed in silence with David waiting for a cue, Blake stood suddenly and took a few tentative steps towards David, pleading with him. "Seriously, dude, Matt can't know you know. I mean it. He'll flip out at me."
"No problem, I get it."
"You really won't tell?"
"Blake," David said, aiming for patient but sounding annoyed. Blake looked sheepish, and David felt a little bit bad. "I promise," David finished, and this time when Blake smiled it reached his eyes.
Blake shifted his weight on his feet, as if his feet were ready to end the conversation and were itching to move on. Then he awkwardly jerked a thumb over one shoulder. "Well, if that's it, then I'm gonna go, you know, brush my teeth," Blake muttered quietly. He hesitated for a second, then shuffled to the bathroom.
David lay back on his bed, listening to Blake fussing around in the bathroom. As Blake changed his clothes, scrounged in his suitcase, and finally stretched out on his bed, David's eyes followed, only looking away when Blake looked in his direction.
A few moments later, after they had flipped out the light, David figured out what he could say to Blake; he found sudden boldness there in the dark. Finally, he thought. Took you long enough, you moron. "Blake?"
"Yeah, Krej?"
"You can know a secret of mine too."
He heard Blake chuckle gently, his voice muffled next to his pillow. "Awesome. Hit me."
"I've, ahh--" he paused, bracing himself "--I've slept with men too. Not on the Bruins, not a teammate. But I've had sex with guys. So..." David let his voice trail off, held his breath for a moment.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Huh," Blake said. "That is not what I expected."
"Okay, now we have each other's guy-fucking secrets, we can sleep in peace."
Blake laughed--God, David loved making Blake laugh--and he heard the sheets rustle as Blake turned on his side. "Good night, Krej."
"Good night, Blake."
After a pause, he heard Blake's voice again, quiet and tentative, so unlike Blake's sunny, outgoing self: "Krej?"
"What?"
"Thank you."
::
David leaned against the headboard in yet another half-dark hotel room on the road--Buffalo, this time--his brain still spinning wildly in his skull after a few post-game drinks with the boys. He could hear Blake puttering around in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. David was drunk and horny, and he was confused, even tantalized by Blake's confession the night before.
Blake strode into the room, rubbing his eyes with one hand and yawning widely. "Fuck me, I'm tired."
"Yeah, that was quite a game," replied David, eyeing Blake's ass as he bent over his suitcase. Nice view, he thought to himself. "You drunk?"
"Positively fucking hammered."
"Oh, we're going to be happy in the morning, huh?"
"Definitely. Something tells me we'll sleep on the plane."
Blake stood up, paused and then looked at David over his shoulder. "Hey, David,--" Blake hesitated "--you said you'd, you know, slept with guys before, right?"
David looked at him sharply--where did that come from, Wheels?--or as sharply as his alcohol-addled brain would allow him, since turning his head that quickly caused his eyes to see trails behind everything in his line of sight. And more importantly, where exactly is it going? His imagination started spitting out a million possibilities, some of them making his mouth a bit dry, others making his pulse race. Say it, Wheels, say what I want you to say. "Yes, why?"
"Have you ever thought about any of our teammates?"
The spinning room stopped on a dime and started accelerating in the other direction, and David felt the sudden lurch right in his stomach. Any of our teammates. Present company not included. Oh boy.
David laughed nervously. "Really? Are we having time for more secrets?"
Blake flopped himself down on the empty half of David's bed and flung his arms up above his head, revealing a strip of skin across his stomach. David tried not to stare. "Yup, more secrets," and then it was Blake's turn to giggle. "So many secrets."
"I know your big secret."
"I have a crush on a boy."
"Holy shit, Wheels." And with that, they both collapsed into uncontrollable laughter. Blake's voice echoed back and forth in David's skull: I have a crush on a boy, Blake repeated, crush on a boy, crush on a boy. The sound of those words made David giddy and manic.
David ended up doubled over, his stomach muscles starting to ache with too much laughter. He found himself leaning in towards Blake, who managed to push himself up onto the headboard next to David, brushing against him in the process. By the time they caught their breath, they were propping each other up, Blake leaning his head on David's shoulder.
"I know, Krej," Blake paused, still wheezing a bit from all the laughter. "No seriously, Krej, I have a crush on a guy. On Munch."
"Yeah, I know, Blake."
"He has curly hair."
"Yeah."
"It's nice."
"Is this going to be your secret? That Matt Hunwick has curly hair? Wheels, that is not a good secret. You need a better one."
Blake's face became very serious. "David, do you like Matty's curls?"
David could not think of a single thing to say in this moment that would not incriminate him. Fuck yes he liked Matt's curls. He liked his curls and he wanted him in his bed. He wanted to know if Blake got to run his hands through Matt's curls when they were fucking, wanted to see those curls against his neck, sweaty and flushed. He wanted Blake and now, knowing about Blake and Matt, he wanted Matt too. Dangerous, he reminded himself, this could be dangerous.
So David didn't say anything at all.
Blake didn't seem to mind. He continued, grinning devilishly. "You do, don't you!"
David suddenly felt awfully confused. How drunk is Blake anyway? He ran through the last few moments of conversation in his mind, translating their words into Czech and back again, to make sure he hadn't missed something. He wondered if maybe he was the one who was drunk and not making any sense.
Blake started giggling again, still leaning on David. He tilted his head up, eyes on David's face. "David, I want you and Matty."
And with that, the room stopped spinning altogether, and the lurch in David's stomach was more powerful than before. But... in a good way. Blake wanted him? Very, very drunk, David responded to his own prior question. Both of us. His mouth went dry. "Blake, what do you mean?"
Blake sat up, and David immediately regretted that Blake was no longer touching him. "You and Matty. Munch. Together. I want that. I want to watch you--um--"
Despite their unfortunate lack of physical contact, David could feel the heat radiating off of Blake. He kept his eyes on Blake's face, tried to steady himself and his nerves--and his horniness--as Blake kept explaining.
"I want to watch you kiss him, want to watch you touch his curls, see your fingers in them. I want to watch you, you know, together."
Blake put some meaningful emphasis on that last word, and David swallowed hard, considering. He'd been wrong, apparently: Blake didn't want David himself, he wanted David to be with Matt.
David thought he might be able to work with that.
Blake lay down on his back, laying his head on David's knees and closing his eyes, a blissful smile on his face. Without thinking, David started to play with Blake's hair, making it stick straight up, then in all different directions, then all to one side. It was soft hair, thick, and it felt wonderful between his fingers, and playing with it made warm, fuzzy, gooey feelings puddle in his stomach. Blake, his brain echoed, oh Blake.
"You are thinking about dirty things, Wheels," he said, hoping Blake understood that by saying that, David meant he wanted to hear more about these thoughts.
Blake laughed loudly. His eyes flew open, fixed on a point on the ceiling. "Yeah, I kind of am," he said. He turned his gaze on David, a grin sneaking onto his face. "Are you?"
David averted his gaze.
"You are!" Blake crowed, kicking his legs and clapping his hands gleefully, a happy drunk. "Are you thinking about Munch's curls? I love his curls."
David sighed. Might as well. "I am. I am thinking about Munch's curls."
Blake giggled again and locked his eyes on David's. "Sorry I don't have curls like his."
David continued, his fingers still running through Blake's hair. "I am also thinking about what you said about me and Munch. About wanting to see us together."
Blake stopped giggling, focusing on David, his face eager, eyes bright with alcohol and flirting.
"I am..." David paused and sighed, surrendering to the moment. "I am also thinking sometimes about you."
Blake sat up and pushed himself back against the headboard again, pulling his head out from under David's aimless caresses and sitting upright next to him. "You're thinking about me?"
Suddenly awkward, David broke their eye contact and looked down at his lap again. The back of Blake's head knocked against the headboard as Blake clumsily settled back. "Ow," Blake said quietly. And then--thank God--the smile started to creep back onto his face. He turned towards David.
"Munch thought we were fucking, you know, you and me," Blake said. "He asked me if we were fucking."
Whoa. "Really?"
Blake nodded. David couldn't help but smile, pleased at the thought, and in his inebriated state, he couldn't help but let the smile melt into more giggles. Through the laughter, Blake continued. "He asked if we were fucking because he thought I was flirting with you."
David froze. "Were you?"
Blake smiled gently and caught his eye, holding it there. "I think I was." Blake paused, not looking away. "Oops."
David's mouth suddenly went dry. Again. He leaned in slowly, and gently kissed Blake, cupping Blake's face in his hands. Blake turned towards him fully, and leaned more into him.
Emboldened, David moved his hands to Blake's shoulders, and felt a thrill up his spine as Blake took the opportunity to put his own hands on the back of David's neck. David shifted his body down on the bed, pulling Blake down over him, feeling the weight of Blake's body on his, the warmth of his skin, the taste of his mouth, with just a hint of liquor on his breath.
He pulled away, reveling in the little pout of protest on Blake's face. He smiled up at Blake, who busied himself with David's neck. David wasn't sure if the dizziness was from the alcohol anymore. Blake's hands on him, down over his chest, at his waist... the room, which had been at a standstill for several solid minutes, began whirling again.
"Blake, this is my other secret," David whispered, not really caring if Blake heard him or not, stumbling over his English as he lost focus on translating in his own head. "I want you... I have wanted you... I want this."
Without a response from Blake, their lips found each other's again, and David lost himself in the surging sensations of the moment. He felt Blake hook his thumbs in his waistband. David ducked his head and kissed Blake's neck, tasting his sweat from the crowded bar, a twinge of the taste of booze. He moved his lips upwards, planting kisses along Blake's jawline, feeling the rough texture of his stubble, coarse against his mouth, scraping his tongue. Blake tipped his head backwards, inviting more, and David was only too happy to oblige. All he could smell and taste was Blake's skin; all he could see was his neck, his shoulders; he could feel Blake's hands exploring his body, and David gasped as Blake's finger grazed a particularly sensitive spot on his lower back.
"Fuck," David said, inhaling sharply. He splayed out his fingers, dragging their tips down Blake's torso. Blake closed his eyes and pursed his lips, exhaling slowly, as if gaining his bearings.
"David," Blake said, and David pulled back, his eyes grazing over Blake's face, a lazy, sexy smile on his lips.
"Yes, Wheels?"
"How drunk are you?" Blake asked, eyes on David's face.
"Pretty drunk." David made his charming grin again. "Why're you asking?"
"Mmm," Blake said in answer, and he kissed David again. Blake moved to pull back from David, but David's hand caught the back of Blake's neck, kept him close, and kept kissing him. Then David put his mouth close to Blake's ear. "Blake?"
Blake finally crawled off of David, sat next to him on the bed. "Mmm?"
David reached out to touch the hem of Blake's shirt, then said, "You said you wanted me with Matt, but--that was before now, before--this. Do you still? Do you want me, too?"
Blake frowned a little. David looked up at him, trying to read if Blake was completely out of touch with his senses, if he was just humoring David, if he was playing some kind of sick joke or--worst of all--if this somehow was some kind of strange dream brought on by a combination hotel-brand shampoo and excessive drinking. Then Blake's frown suddenly brightened, and Blake looked up again, apparently in awe of his own realization.
"I want you both."
David replayed Blake's response on loop for a moment--I want you both... I want you both... I want you both...--until his thoughts were interrupted by the sudden return of Blake's troubled expression. "Fuck," Blake said, his voice almost cracking, "I want you both."
::
David did not see himself as having particularly complex desires. When he thought about his want for Blake, it wasn't some kind of twisted, out-of-control roommate-affection thing. No, he saw Blake and wanted to have sex with Blake. Period. He didn't really care about labels or what he was or wasn't supposed to want sexually. He just did or did not want.
Having just kissed Blake for the first time, he wanted. Badly.
With Blake stretched out on top of him, their legs tangled together, with Blake's hands all over him and his mouth tentative but earnest on David's own, David's brain refused to stop second-guessing his cock. Really, it had all been too easy, too much of a coincidence, too much like an alcohol-and-shampoo hallucination: Hey, I want this guy really badly, but he's my teammate and my road roomie and has a gorgeous woman in his life. But wait! Guess what: turns out he actually does have sex with teammates, and not only that, but he's confiding in you about it. But wait! There's more! He's fantasized about you fucking this other incredibly hot teammate who has sex with him. And, best of all, his lips were just all over you, and you got to touch him in very not-teammate-like ways. Let's keep going! Put your hands in his pants!
Amazing. Also, too good to be true. The realization of his fantasy had made David's good sense crumble in an instant, but Blake was clearly trying to figure things out, and suddenly rationality regained control. This was a bad, bad, bad idea, David thought. Bad.
"Blake, wait." David moved out from under Blake, scooted back up to lean against the headboard once more. He sat on his hands, not knowing what else to do with them. "I--fuck, I don't know what to say."
Blake sat up as well, facing David. "Well, try with whatever words you know, I can help you figure it out."
"No, Blake, I mean, I know the English, it's just that, you know, this is all kind of... I just found out about you and Munch and now we are here doing this, and also you want us both. This is a lot, you know?"
"Yeah, it is a lot." Blake turned away from him and sighed heavily. "The whole thing is kind of... complicated."
"I want you, Blake," David said quietly, bringing one hand up to stroke Blake's cheek. Blake leaned into the touch with a sheepish look on his face. "But before that, I am here for you. And here for Matt. I sound stupid and cheesy, yes, but it's true. You have your... complicatedness--" David paused and kissed Blake gently and briefly, not caring what the alcohol and fatigue and Blake's warm skin next to his was doing to his English "--and then we have wantings later on."