shit, man. it's gon' be a helluva day.
so I'm writing you loyal readers out there from my trusty sidekick... with its fancy swishing action... and puzzling lack of camera...
Anyway I'm not a professional thumb typer (yet) so you'll have to forgive crazy and unnoticed mistakes.
So miss suzy gave me a great direction for my slowly withering blog. Or lj. Or Whatever. She said I should write about my crazy substitute teacher stories... since that's what I've been doing since I graduated on may 3.
Funny thing is that I don't even think I told her I had crazy stories. She just knew I would... and she was so far right she was rubbing elbows with karl rove and bill o'reilly.... ickkkkkkkkkk.
Wow that was a distracting mr. Powell-like simile/pun/joke thing. I AM a history teacher after all! Ill take this as a good sign!
Wait. How am I getting so far off topic?
Anyway so wise suzy had a sweet idea for me to write about subbing around this unnamed district. Because I do have stories that are The. Insane.
Like this one!
So I'm subbing for this unnamed journalism teacher at this unnamed high school, and just in the office and aroound I catch the drift that the dude is not coming back... this is like the day before.
So I go in the morning of and meet the single student of the first class period. She's independent study.
In prep for the rest of the day I try to look for the sub plans and cannot find them (partly because it makes me uncomfy to dig in a teacher's stuff).
So the student whips out her cell phone in a swish of nails and 'no prob' and calls the teacher up.
He tells her where the plans are and she's off in less than 20 seconds.
I have very little to do bc these kids all have assignments... and I'm just in the way. So I'm just beginning the last period of the day and some of them have been in the room all day.
I think you'll find that high school publications staff (like newspaper and yearbook) are tight. They do it for years and get close... apparently close enough to be able to call their teacher's cell phone for sub plans.
And I'm just taking roll and starting to explain the assignment when an unnamed administrator comes in.
She doesn't say anything to me and starts to address the class... and now that I care to reflect I think I would have appreciated a word of warning plzkthx.
So she coldly announces that mr. Teacher is not coming back and she doesn't know why and so please don't ask her becaus she wouldn't tell you if she did know. Which she doesn't.
So ok. Anyone who has a kid or knows a kid or was once a kid know that this would be at the least shocking, and at worst heart breaking to a student.
You'd think that would be covered somewhere in the standard educational administration master's program curriculum. Like admins should know that shizzle. Theorhetically.
And some kids start to cry, and some are just gaping, and others are shaking their heads, etc. etc. etc. And I'm just standing in the back like, "crap."
And then one of the girls who has been hanging around all day, who is obvs very into her unnamed publication starts to get visibly upset... but still staying to herself.
Well the admin draws her out and asks her what's up. And the girl just starts shaking and saying that she thinks this is ridiculous and DUH she's upset.
And the admin FLIPS OUT and starts YELLING, "Well I said that I don't know why he's gone and he isn't coming back and getting mad at me won't fix anything!!"
And then she basically stomps out. While two of the very-into-it-girls who are apparently close to mr. Teacher start crying and running around ripping down all the "for sale" publications signs because, oh, did I mention that the admin's closing line was something about how the very-into-it-girls would not be allowed to sell the publications anymore.
And then I'm just standing there like OMGWTF.
All I can say is that the following class period was the most awkward and creeping 90. Gotdamn. Minutes. Of my life!
And it was a standard day in sub land!
-e.
Anyway I'm not a professional thumb typer (yet) so you'll have to forgive crazy and unnoticed mistakes.
So miss suzy gave me a great direction for my slowly withering blog. Or lj. Or Whatever. She said I should write about my crazy substitute teacher stories... since that's what I've been doing since I graduated on may 3.
Funny thing is that I don't even think I told her I had crazy stories. She just knew I would... and she was so far right she was rubbing elbows with karl rove and bill o'reilly.... ickkkkkkkkkk.
Wow that was a distracting mr. Powell-like simile/pun/joke thing. I AM a history teacher after all! Ill take this as a good sign!
Wait. How am I getting so far off topic?
Anyway so wise suzy had a sweet idea for me to write about subbing around this unnamed district. Because I do have stories that are The. Insane.
Like this one!
So I'm subbing for this unnamed journalism teacher at this unnamed high school, and just in the office and aroound I catch the drift that the dude is not coming back... this is like the day before.
So I go in the morning of and meet the single student of the first class period. She's independent study.
In prep for the rest of the day I try to look for the sub plans and cannot find them (partly because it makes me uncomfy to dig in a teacher's stuff).
So the student whips out her cell phone in a swish of nails and 'no prob' and calls the teacher up.
He tells her where the plans are and she's off in less than 20 seconds.
I have very little to do bc these kids all have assignments... and I'm just in the way. So I'm just beginning the last period of the day and some of them have been in the room all day.
I think you'll find that high school publications staff (like newspaper and yearbook) are tight. They do it for years and get close... apparently close enough to be able to call their teacher's cell phone for sub plans.
And I'm just taking roll and starting to explain the assignment when an unnamed administrator comes in.
She doesn't say anything to me and starts to address the class... and now that I care to reflect I think I would have appreciated a word of warning plzkthx.
So she coldly announces that mr. Teacher is not coming back and she doesn't know why and so please don't ask her becaus she wouldn't tell you if she did know. Which she doesn't.
So ok. Anyone who has a kid or knows a kid or was once a kid know that this would be at the least shocking, and at worst heart breaking to a student.
You'd think that would be covered somewhere in the standard educational administration master's program curriculum. Like admins should know that shizzle. Theorhetically.
And some kids start to cry, and some are just gaping, and others are shaking their heads, etc. etc. etc. And I'm just standing in the back like, "crap."
And then one of the girls who has been hanging around all day, who is obvs very into her unnamed publication starts to get visibly upset... but still staying to herself.
Well the admin draws her out and asks her what's up. And the girl just starts shaking and saying that she thinks this is ridiculous and DUH she's upset.
And the admin FLIPS OUT and starts YELLING, "Well I said that I don't know why he's gone and he isn't coming back and getting mad at me won't fix anything!!"
And then she basically stomps out. While two of the very-into-it-girls who are apparently close to mr. Teacher start crying and running around ripping down all the "for sale" publications signs because, oh, did I mention that the admin's closing line was something about how the very-into-it-girls would not be allowed to sell the publications anymore.
And then I'm just standing there like OMGWTF.
All I can say is that the following class period was the most awkward and creeping 90. Gotdamn. Minutes. Of my life!
And it was a standard day in sub land!
-e.