Reunion
I'm going to the family reunion tomorrow, because it looks very likely that this will be the last one ever. Part of my motivation is my Mom's birthday, which was Friday, so this is kind of visiting her for that as well. But basically, Dad successfully guilt-tripped me into making this one by announcing his retirement from the family reunion management business. He's acknowledged that he's too old to be running these things anymore, and no one else in the family has stepped up to take it over.
I have all kinds of mixed feelings about this. Honestly, I've never enjoyed the family reunions on my Dad's side. I didn't hate those relatives or have terrible experiences with them or anything like that, but I had nothing in common with them except genetic material. There were few distinct personalities, no one I could bond with. I was always bored. All the other kids were either college age or babies, and there was nothing for me to do. Now, everyone is either elderly or just getting married, so there's still nothing for me to do. (Mom's side had kids closer to my age, and environments that were much more kid friendly.)
The amount of effort Dad put into these things was astonishing. I don't know anyone else who put so much work into assembling a family history, keeping in touch with distant relatives, checking up on the elderly, and so on. I never understood it. Now, knowing more about Dad's upbringing (he was more or less raised by older relatives), it makes sense, but I still don't have an emotional attachment to it all. What hurts is that it clearly means so much to him, and no one is picking up the reigns.
To some degree, it's because Dad set the bar so high. People loved what he did. He gets standing ovations for it, and not Minnesota Nice standing ovations either. But no one else in the family feels they can put in the time or effort to be as complete and elaborate. On the other hand, he's been really taken for granted all these years. How much of this non-commitment is laziness? How much is ingratitude? How much is intimidation? Who can say?
I don't have the time, energy or desire to take this over, even though I know that would make him incredibly happy. Dad does get this, and he seems pretty okay with it. But I suspect he's just putting on a good front. I don't know what to do about any of this.
Anyway, I hope Mom likes the present I got her.
I have all kinds of mixed feelings about this. Honestly, I've never enjoyed the family reunions on my Dad's side. I didn't hate those relatives or have terrible experiences with them or anything like that, but I had nothing in common with them except genetic material. There were few distinct personalities, no one I could bond with. I was always bored. All the other kids were either college age or babies, and there was nothing for me to do. Now, everyone is either elderly or just getting married, so there's still nothing for me to do. (Mom's side had kids closer to my age, and environments that were much more kid friendly.)
The amount of effort Dad put into these things was astonishing. I don't know anyone else who put so much work into assembling a family history, keeping in touch with distant relatives, checking up on the elderly, and so on. I never understood it. Now, knowing more about Dad's upbringing (he was more or less raised by older relatives), it makes sense, but I still don't have an emotional attachment to it all. What hurts is that it clearly means so much to him, and no one is picking up the reigns.
To some degree, it's because Dad set the bar so high. People loved what he did. He gets standing ovations for it, and not Minnesota Nice standing ovations either. But no one else in the family feels they can put in the time or effort to be as complete and elaborate. On the other hand, he's been really taken for granted all these years. How much of this non-commitment is laziness? How much is ingratitude? How much is intimidation? Who can say?
I don't have the time, energy or desire to take this over, even though I know that would make him incredibly happy. Dad does get this, and he seems pretty okay with it. But I suspect he's just putting on a good front. I don't know what to do about any of this.
Anyway, I hope Mom likes the present I got her.