Linguistically disgusted
I hate this language. Suddenly, favoring a leg after a sports injury can now mean that you walk more on that one, or on the other one. This is bullshit. Nothing means anything anymore. Just think of all the things that can mean its own exact opposite. I'm not talking about the obvious and celebrated "inflammable." I'm talking about things like "resign." In sports, you can quit when your contract ends, or you can resign (as in, re-sign) with your team. Or you can resign and tell them to fuck themselves. And sanctioning something! If an action is sanctioned by the UN, it usually means that they didn't put sanctions on it. Shelled nuts? It means they do and do not have shells.
When somebody calls a picture "the older one," do they mean that they're older in the photo (making it the newer one) or the one that was taken longer ago, making them younger in it? When people strike, sometimes it means they do something, and sometimes it means they intentionally do nothing. If something is lost to your enemy, does it mean that you have it, or he has it? This is just a matter of people using an expression they don't understand, so often that it loses its meaning, but when something is all but ruined...is it ruined? Most of the time, when people say it, that's what they mean. The English-speaking masses need to be put in lots of pain for their offenses.
People just don't think about what they're saying. People use the phrase "went off" to describe something that activated, or something that deactivated. And if you have outstanding test results, did you ace it, or did you just plain not turn one in? If someone asks you about your AIDS test, and you say that the results were positive...DO YOU HAVE AIDS? Also, do the rest of you have AIDS? I'm trying to keep track of who does and does not, in case I suddenly need to take a cross-country road trip, and somebody needs to be loved up.
Speaking of that, how about ascending order? That can often mean that you're starting at the largest number and counting down. Craziness.
Some terms just sound too much like each other. Some, when spoken out loud, are each other. Doctor Dave says that those are homophones, which are not to be confused with homonyms, which are spelled the same. They're also not to be confused with homo phones, which have been getting heavily advertised lately, usually by hand models demonstrating the functionality of simulated screens based on nonexistent data transfer rates. Like when you rid yourself of or use something, you exorcise or exercise something. When you raze something, you burn it into uselessness and cackle madly while it crumbles (if you're doing it right), but when you raise something, you bring it back, or build it up. If someone asks you to resend something, you'd better not rescind it instead. Theoretically, there should be a subtle difference in pronouncing those, but that's the thing about theory.
Some words just got lost to intellectual laziness. People don't know what a beeline is anymore, but they still use the word. And I have to believe that people did that with "oversexed." Shouldn't that mean you're getting too much?
Oh. Since we're on the subject, when you say something like "He wasn't able to give her what she wanted in a relationship. Read: impotent," it's pronounced in the past tense, like "red." I don't see how people are trying to get it to make sense if they're pronouncing it in the way that rhymes with "breed." It's not a command for someone to read something (though we could use a few of those here and there), it means "This is how it is read." Although now that I've mentioned that, I should express how much I hate the way letters just get chopped off when people drop words into the conjugation fan. "Pronounciation." Was it too hard to put the "o" on there, fellas? Did you have a hard time in school, necessitating that you make things more complicated for future generations? I've given up correcting misspellings that make more sense.
[EDIT] I had to come back and confess that if I was ever working with a twisting tool (pliers, wrench, ratchet, tire iron, etc) and you told me to turn something to the right (or to the left), I wanted to punch you. There is no "to the right" or "to the left" when you're turning something in a circle. I'm a loving guy, which is why you didn't get punched.
TOPIC CHANGE.
Batman: Arkham Asylum. It's as good as they say it is. They even got the actors from the animated series. It's good to hear Luke Skywalker as the Joker again. And it's surprisingly respectable to hear Kevin Conroy playing Batman a different way. There's a lot less character to the voice in the video game, which matches the suit and colors much better. It was a choice that could have turned out horribly, and I'm glad to see that it didn't.
I now share with you a line from my book.
"I swear, if crazy were gold, we could just cut out the violence and use you to buy the whole damned continent."
Line subject to change, based on edits.
Oh, and keep in mind that if you stopped what you were doing right now, went to a vocal coach, studied for the rest of your natural life, and tried as hard as you could, and really applied yourself, and went about it intelligently, and took the most rewarding risks, and if they paid off in spades, and if you learned new things about yourself that you never imagined, and found a talent buried within you beyond your imagination, and if you nurtured it, polished it, and refined it until the end of days...
...you still wouldn't be as good as a woman named Floor. (link goes to a video, she pwnz j00 at 3:39) When the shit starts flying, words start getting thrown around, and a sista gotta whip out some vocals to put people in their place, you don't want to mess with someone who's capable of melting your brain. I lost a lot of respect for my favorite singers much earlier in the year, when I found out what this one was capable of. Fuck After Forever for not using her properly in more than a couple of songs. Annie Lennox may be able to open her mouth and knock you on your ass, Mary Fahl may be able to pick up any note she finds lying on the ground and kick your ass with it, but they're not bionic (re: 4:22-4:57).
Sheeeet.
Lastly, why does nobody in this overused genre ever think of this?
When somebody calls a picture "the older one," do they mean that they're older in the photo (making it the newer one) or the one that was taken longer ago, making them younger in it? When people strike, sometimes it means they do something, and sometimes it means they intentionally do nothing. If something is lost to your enemy, does it mean that you have it, or he has it? This is just a matter of people using an expression they don't understand, so often that it loses its meaning, but when something is all but ruined...is it ruined? Most of the time, when people say it, that's what they mean. The English-speaking masses need to be put in lots of pain for their offenses.
People just don't think about what they're saying. People use the phrase "went off" to describe something that activated, or something that deactivated. And if you have outstanding test results, did you ace it, or did you just plain not turn one in? If someone asks you about your AIDS test, and you say that the results were positive...DO YOU HAVE AIDS? Also, do the rest of you have AIDS? I'm trying to keep track of who does and does not, in case I suddenly need to take a cross-country road trip, and somebody needs to be loved up.
Speaking of that, how about ascending order? That can often mean that you're starting at the largest number and counting down. Craziness.
Some terms just sound too much like each other. Some, when spoken out loud, are each other. Doctor Dave says that those are homophones, which are not to be confused with homonyms, which are spelled the same. They're also not to be confused with homo phones, which have been getting heavily advertised lately, usually by hand models demonstrating the functionality of simulated screens based on nonexistent data transfer rates. Like when you rid yourself of or use something, you exorcise or exercise something. When you raze something, you burn it into uselessness and cackle madly while it crumbles (if you're doing it right), but when you raise something, you bring it back, or build it up. If someone asks you to resend something, you'd better not rescind it instead. Theoretically, there should be a subtle difference in pronouncing those, but that's the thing about theory.
Some words just got lost to intellectual laziness. People don't know what a beeline is anymore, but they still use the word. And I have to believe that people did that with "oversexed." Shouldn't that mean you're getting too much?
Oh. Since we're on the subject, when you say something like "He wasn't able to give her what she wanted in a relationship. Read: impotent," it's pronounced in the past tense, like "red." I don't see how people are trying to get it to make sense if they're pronouncing it in the way that rhymes with "breed." It's not a command for someone to read something (though we could use a few of those here and there), it means "This is how it is read." Although now that I've mentioned that, I should express how much I hate the way letters just get chopped off when people drop words into the conjugation fan. "Pronounciation." Was it too hard to put the "o" on there, fellas? Did you have a hard time in school, necessitating that you make things more complicated for future generations? I've given up correcting misspellings that make more sense.
[EDIT] I had to come back and confess that if I was ever working with a twisting tool (pliers, wrench, ratchet, tire iron, etc) and you told me to turn something to the right (or to the left), I wanted to punch you. There is no "to the right" or "to the left" when you're turning something in a circle. I'm a loving guy, which is why you didn't get punched.
TOPIC CHANGE.
Batman: Arkham Asylum. It's as good as they say it is. They even got the actors from the animated series. It's good to hear Luke Skywalker as the Joker again. And it's surprisingly respectable to hear Kevin Conroy playing Batman a different way. There's a lot less character to the voice in the video game, which matches the suit and colors much better. It was a choice that could have turned out horribly, and I'm glad to see that it didn't.
I now share with you a line from my book.
"I swear, if crazy were gold, we could just cut out the violence and use you to buy the whole damned continent."
Line subject to change, based on edits.
Oh, and keep in mind that if you stopped what you were doing right now, went to a vocal coach, studied for the rest of your natural life, and tried as hard as you could, and really applied yourself, and went about it intelligently, and took the most rewarding risks, and if they paid off in spades, and if you learned new things about yourself that you never imagined, and found a talent buried within you beyond your imagination, and if you nurtured it, polished it, and refined it until the end of days...
...you still wouldn't be as good as a woman named Floor. (link goes to a video, she pwnz j00 at 3:39) When the shit starts flying, words start getting thrown around, and a sista gotta whip out some vocals to put people in their place, you don't want to mess with someone who's capable of melting your brain. I lost a lot of respect for my favorite singers much earlier in the year, when I found out what this one was capable of. Fuck After Forever for not using her properly in more than a couple of songs. Annie Lennox may be able to open her mouth and knock you on your ass, Mary Fahl may be able to pick up any note she finds lying on the ground and kick your ass with it, but they're not bionic (re: 4:22-4:57).
Sheeeet.
Lastly, why does nobody in this overused genre ever think of this?