Fascinating.
There's this thing.
My brother, Josh, wishes with all his might that he had it.
It's this thing I do where I tempt the universe. I make one little step toward the road, and, like a Loony Toons cartoon, I watch thousand-mile-an-hour traffic go hurtling across, horns blaring, music pumping, drivers shouting. It is an organic thing, this system of forces in my life. It listens closely and, with all due ponderousness and pomp, throws the image of certain actions against a fun house mirror, creating gargantuan situational echoes that let me know just how swiftly a flick of the wrist can turn into an avalanche of motion.
Case in point: I got tired of online dating services. Nine out of ten emails I send are unanswered, about a third of those being unread at all. They come over, look at my profile, and don't read the email. It's rather hilarious, when you consider what they other people are supposed to be on the site to find, and it brings to mind my closest coworker's novel impulse to create a profile (despite that she's happily married) just to see what kind of attention she'd draw. Perhaps this is more common than I thought, but in the end, the closest I get to come to actually getting a match is sending a few emeails to that one person out of ten (ten? It's much closer to twenty...), meeting that person for coffee, and watching them kindly wait for me to stop talking and go away. I email them afterward, and then they're on the ignore-Dave train like everybody else. This, I'm used to, I've had my fun with it, I got bored with it, and I've heard more than enough people tell me I'm not trying hard enough. Since I'm finally in a position to do so, I actually visited Great Expectations, and reviewed their service plans.
As it turns out, seven thousand dollars for eighteen months is the lowest plan they had. They did have limo service to special events, shows, bayside parties, etc. I figured, screw it, I needed to buy something that would finally silence the people who said I wasn't putting enough faith into it, and I talked the manager down to three thousand for one year. Yes, I belong to a dating service. Thing is, it doesn't set you up on dates, but it runs thorough background checks to make sure that the people are who they say they are, absolutely aren't married (they actually make you sign something authorizing them to punch you in the throat and slash your tires if you lied about not being married), and can afford a dating service.
I got some good pictures out of it, but since I'm not going to create a photobucket account, you can just ask me individually if you're interested in those. There are only two.
Anywayzesses, the universe noticed my leap of faith, and decided to pour some similar energy into my life. I immediately got four connections on a completely different dating site (I belong to, I think, five now?), and they seemed pretty promising during the jump-through-hoops phase, but now the energy is receding and the sand is getting gritty again; after about two weeks, I can't get in touch with any of them all of a sudden.
Like the calm before the storm, I knew this only to be a prelude.
Guess who's in town, fresh from getting married, and demanding answers from me about what I think of her?
That was a fun conversation.
That aside, it's just interesting to see what sort of power I have. Invoke the right word, and I can watch the landslide engulf so many things around me.
Case in point: I just committed to three grand, and today, I got word that the department is downsizing about eighteen people in my building. Guess who's low on the seniority pole! :D
What they're going to do is "place" me somewhere. Now, this could be in Sacramento, it could be in San Francisco, it could be in frickin' Fresno. I'll have to either accept it, or deal with no placement at all, and be unemployed. Joy of joys. Now, my name hasn't officially appeared on any lists, but again, as far as state service goes, I'm definitely on the bottom rung as far as who's left in my building after the last three years of Arnold financially pulverizing my department. We were officially understaffed, and now we're cutting back more. What gives me comfort is knowing that if I'm cut, I'll be the least screwed person there. Being absolutely critical had its upside, but them's the breaks. I hope I get put somewhere nice.
That was all fun. Then the Check Engine light in my car came on. The car's running fine, so it can't be the evap leak thing again. This is something all new.
Oh, and I'm still having problems with one of the roommates not paying rent. So I'm paying double rent, plus my car, plus the two hundred a month for Great Expectations, and I'm not sure where/if I'll be working after the first of Jewlah.
I was about to spend about six hundred bucks on a new mattress set. This old one squeaks too much. I've had a lot of time with it (like, since I was what, fourteen?), and I've totally broken it all the way in. It's comfy, but it's too loud. Like a husband who's sometimes a little rough when the biscuits aren't done right. I'm going to go ahead and suppose that it won't be happening now.
Here's the fun thing: We might still get busted down to federal (not state) minimum wage in the very near future, whether I can accept being moved or not. Wouldn't it suck to have to move, and then live on something far below the state minimum wage?
Fun fact! Burger King hambugers in my area are 89 cents. A double hambuger? $2.50. I order two burgers and hand the buns and wrapper for one of them right back over the counter.
RPG Quotes:
(important note...most of these are intended to be taken out of context)
"Why can't we pee in the river?" "Because then the gorillas would drown."
"If it's not glass, then I don't want it for my fetus."
"She's not here. She could have showed them her feces."
"We'd get the horses pregnant one at a time."
"They're highly potent focal points of magic and chaos rolled up into a tiny little...bitch."
"I could not recommend a competitor. I'm sure you understand." "Actually, I couldn't understand. You're kind of French."
"That's why it's fun to kill people. Cute has nothing to do with it."
"It will be a long way. Especially since you lost your horses." "Neigh!"
"That horse is gonna die in a knife fight."
"What did she die from?" "Murder."
"I told them to get more ballistas!" "They were busy building walls to put the ballistas on." "Walls don't work on dragons!"
"What happened to her?" "She tried to chop down a treant." "Why?" "She...wanted to make a canoe."
"Where will you be aiming?" "I dunno...I want him to die and leave me alone." "Ah, the 'die and leave me alone' shot...that's tricky."
"You know what? The gorilla fetus is cute."
"If that thing were smart, it would be catching the arrows." "It IS catching the arrows."
"Neckra, would you like to destroy Baku's monkey?" "No way, you stay away from my monkey!" "But mine's all used up!"
"She's just a big ol' softy on the inside." "Yep. Reeeeaaaal squishy." "Yes, but she's sharp and pointy on the outside, which is what we keep her around for."
"How much are you gonna drink?" "Enough to where I stop feeling lousy."
"Apparently I'm some sort of mystical monkey god with powers I didn't even know."
"We've only had time to break a window and throw a badger out of it."
"I know a bit, but for fifty gp, I'll know a little more." "That doesn't make sense. I've had plenty of money, and it didn't make me any smarter." "Yes, I can tell."
"When the monsters come to raid your town and eat your children, you can use these weapons to kill them! ...the monsters, not the children."
"I think those guys were priests of a dark god." "Which one?" "Both of them."
"I'm not a thief!" "Says the guy with 'some guy's wallet' written in his inventory."
"I'll shoot the owlbears." "Are you going to aim for anything in specific?" "Yes. The owlbears."
My brother, Josh, wishes with all his might that he had it.
It's this thing I do where I tempt the universe. I make one little step toward the road, and, like a Loony Toons cartoon, I watch thousand-mile-an-hour traffic go hurtling across, horns blaring, music pumping, drivers shouting. It is an organic thing, this system of forces in my life. It listens closely and, with all due ponderousness and pomp, throws the image of certain actions against a fun house mirror, creating gargantuan situational echoes that let me know just how swiftly a flick of the wrist can turn into an avalanche of motion.
Case in point: I got tired of online dating services. Nine out of ten emails I send are unanswered, about a third of those being unread at all. They come over, look at my profile, and don't read the email. It's rather hilarious, when you consider what they other people are supposed to be on the site to find, and it brings to mind my closest coworker's novel impulse to create a profile (despite that she's happily married) just to see what kind of attention she'd draw. Perhaps this is more common than I thought, but in the end, the closest I get to come to actually getting a match is sending a few emeails to that one person out of ten (ten? It's much closer to twenty...), meeting that person for coffee, and watching them kindly wait for me to stop talking and go away. I email them afterward, and then they're on the ignore-Dave train like everybody else. This, I'm used to, I've had my fun with it, I got bored with it, and I've heard more than enough people tell me I'm not trying hard enough. Since I'm finally in a position to do so, I actually visited Great Expectations, and reviewed their service plans.
As it turns out, seven thousand dollars for eighteen months is the lowest plan they had. They did have limo service to special events, shows, bayside parties, etc. I figured, screw it, I needed to buy something that would finally silence the people who said I wasn't putting enough faith into it, and I talked the manager down to three thousand for one year. Yes, I belong to a dating service. Thing is, it doesn't set you up on dates, but it runs thorough background checks to make sure that the people are who they say they are, absolutely aren't married (they actually make you sign something authorizing them to punch you in the throat and slash your tires if you lied about not being married), and can afford a dating service.
I got some good pictures out of it, but since I'm not going to create a photobucket account, you can just ask me individually if you're interested in those. There are only two.
Anywayzesses, the universe noticed my leap of faith, and decided to pour some similar energy into my life. I immediately got four connections on a completely different dating site (I belong to, I think, five now?), and they seemed pretty promising during the jump-through-hoops phase, but now the energy is receding and the sand is getting gritty again; after about two weeks, I can't get in touch with any of them all of a sudden.
Like the calm before the storm, I knew this only to be a prelude.
Guess who's in town, fresh from getting married, and demanding answers from me about what I think of her?
That was a fun conversation.
That aside, it's just interesting to see what sort of power I have. Invoke the right word, and I can watch the landslide engulf so many things around me.
Case in point: I just committed to three grand, and today, I got word that the department is downsizing about eighteen people in my building. Guess who's low on the seniority pole! :D
What they're going to do is "place" me somewhere. Now, this could be in Sacramento, it could be in San Francisco, it could be in frickin' Fresno. I'll have to either accept it, or deal with no placement at all, and be unemployed. Joy of joys. Now, my name hasn't officially appeared on any lists, but again, as far as state service goes, I'm definitely on the bottom rung as far as who's left in my building after the last three years of Arnold financially pulverizing my department. We were officially understaffed, and now we're cutting back more. What gives me comfort is knowing that if I'm cut, I'll be the least screwed person there. Being absolutely critical had its upside, but them's the breaks. I hope I get put somewhere nice.
That was all fun. Then the Check Engine light in my car came on. The car's running fine, so it can't be the evap leak thing again. This is something all new.
Oh, and I'm still having problems with one of the roommates not paying rent. So I'm paying double rent, plus my car, plus the two hundred a month for Great Expectations, and I'm not sure where/if I'll be working after the first of Jewlah.
I was about to spend about six hundred bucks on a new mattress set. This old one squeaks too much. I've had a lot of time with it (like, since I was what, fourteen?), and I've totally broken it all the way in. It's comfy, but it's too loud. Like a husband who's sometimes a little rough when the biscuits aren't done right. I'm going to go ahead and suppose that it won't be happening now.
Here's the fun thing: We might still get busted down to federal (not state) minimum wage in the very near future, whether I can accept being moved or not. Wouldn't it suck to have to move, and then live on something far below the state minimum wage?
Fun fact! Burger King hambugers in my area are 89 cents. A double hambuger? $2.50. I order two burgers and hand the buns and wrapper for one of them right back over the counter.
RPG Quotes:
(important note...most of these are intended to be taken out of context)
"Why can't we pee in the river?" "Because then the gorillas would drown."
"If it's not glass, then I don't want it for my fetus."
"She's not here. She could have showed them her feces."
"We'd get the horses pregnant one at a time."
"They're highly potent focal points of magic and chaos rolled up into a tiny little...bitch."
"I could not recommend a competitor. I'm sure you understand." "Actually, I couldn't understand. You're kind of French."
"That's why it's fun to kill people. Cute has nothing to do with it."
"It will be a long way. Especially since you lost your horses." "Neigh!"
"That horse is gonna die in a knife fight."
"What did she die from?" "Murder."
"I told them to get more ballistas!" "They were busy building walls to put the ballistas on." "Walls don't work on dragons!"
"What happened to her?" "She tried to chop down a treant." "Why?" "She...wanted to make a canoe."
"Where will you be aiming?" "I dunno...I want him to die and leave me alone." "Ah, the 'die and leave me alone' shot...that's tricky."
"You know what? The gorilla fetus is cute."
"If that thing were smart, it would be catching the arrows." "It IS catching the arrows."
"Neckra, would you like to destroy Baku's monkey?" "No way, you stay away from my monkey!" "But mine's all used up!"
"She's just a big ol' softy on the inside." "Yep. Reeeeaaaal squishy." "Yes, but she's sharp and pointy on the outside, which is what we keep her around for."
"How much are you gonna drink?" "Enough to where I stop feeling lousy."
"Apparently I'm some sort of mystical monkey god with powers I didn't even know."
"We've only had time to break a window and throw a badger out of it."
"I know a bit, but for fifty gp, I'll know a little more." "That doesn't make sense. I've had plenty of money, and it didn't make me any smarter." "Yes, I can tell."
"When the monsters come to raid your town and eat your children, you can use these weapons to kill them! ...the monsters, not the children."
"I think those guys were priests of a dark god." "Which one?" "Both of them."
"I'm not a thief!" "Says the guy with 'some guy's wallet' written in his inventory."
"I'll shoot the owlbears." "Are you going to aim for anything in specific?" "Yes. The owlbears."