I AM NO SUBJECT
Has anyone ever died of BRAIN EXPLOSION?
After polling a select group of individuals, we have decided that the answer is no, after realizing that no-one in our test group of 15000 individuals had actually died of BRAIN EXPLOSION.
George put down the ad and realized that his fears, his entire life, had been misplaced. After high school, the others in his graduating class had convinced him that BRAIN EXPLOSION was a fact of life and the reason few people expected to live past 35. Oh well, he thought. At least I had meaning for a part of my life.
"Hey, George," his wife, Annabelle shouted. "You read the 'papes today?"
"Yeah, but I just realized something," George replied.
"What's that?" Annabelle asked as she sank her teeth into her lover's shoulder.
"At least I had meaning to the first 34 years of my life, that's more than most people get."
"Except one thing," Annabelle gasped.
"What is that?"
"What kind of purpose is 'not dying of BRAIN EXPLOSION?' Isn't that like
'the purpose of my life is to live my life?' What, then, is the purpose of living my life?"
"Damn, I never thought of that. I guess I've lived my whole life in vain."
"That's true," Annabelle said as her lover rolled over. "I guess you should just kill yourself."
"I guess I don't have any options," George said, "except to find a new meaning to my life."
"So just get it over with already," Annabelle yelled as she dressed hurredly, not wanting to miss her husband's suicide. Unfortunately, just before he could get the kitchen knives our, George died of BRAIN EXPLOSION. "Well," Annabelle said, "I guess you did die of BRAIN EXPLOSION!"
"Yup!" said George. "I guess the 'papes were wrong."
"We should tell them. Are you still depressed? Your life's purpose has been vindicated!"
"No, I'm still depressed, because the release of my own suicide has been robbed from me."
"Oh," Annabelle replied, crestfallen. "Well, at least you can take refuge in not being completely average, after all, you died almost a full two weeks before the average."
"That's right," George acknowledged. "I feel better already."
After polling a select group of individuals, we have decided that the answer is no, after realizing that no-one in our test group of 15000 individuals had actually died of BRAIN EXPLOSION.
George put down the ad and realized that his fears, his entire life, had been misplaced. After high school, the others in his graduating class had convinced him that BRAIN EXPLOSION was a fact of life and the reason few people expected to live past 35. Oh well, he thought. At least I had meaning for a part of my life.
"Hey, George," his wife, Annabelle shouted. "You read the 'papes today?"
"Yeah, but I just realized something," George replied.
"What's that?" Annabelle asked as she sank her teeth into her lover's shoulder.
"At least I had meaning to the first 34 years of my life, that's more than most people get."
"Except one thing," Annabelle gasped.
"What is that?"
"What kind of purpose is 'not dying of BRAIN EXPLOSION?' Isn't that like
'the purpose of my life is to live my life?' What, then, is the purpose of living my life?"
"Damn, I never thought of that. I guess I've lived my whole life in vain."
"That's true," Annabelle said as her lover rolled over. "I guess you should just kill yourself."
"I guess I don't have any options," George said, "except to find a new meaning to my life."
"So just get it over with already," Annabelle yelled as she dressed hurredly, not wanting to miss her husband's suicide. Unfortunately, just before he could get the kitchen knives our, George died of BRAIN EXPLOSION. "Well," Annabelle said, "I guess you did die of BRAIN EXPLOSION!"
"Yup!" said George. "I guess the 'papes were wrong."
"We should tell them. Are you still depressed? Your life's purpose has been vindicated!"
"No, I'm still depressed, because the release of my own suicide has been robbed from me."
"Oh," Annabelle replied, crestfallen. "Well, at least you can take refuge in not being completely average, after all, you died almost a full two weeks before the average."
"That's right," George acknowledged. "I feel better already."