So that was 2015 ...
Well, ain't livejournal gone all shiny and Web 2.0. Been a while I know ... and somehow there are still some people I know using it :)
I guess I'm here today because I need to ramble freely, the complete antithesis of twitter, and even more than what Facebook would comfortably handle (not even going into whether I -would- ramble freely on Facebook).
Mostly, I need to ramble about the year just gone. I need to do my annual review this weekend, and I started reading my old performance reviews at my company. I have to say it was interesting to see how much of it still feels applicable today. Some of the "areas for improvement" I recognise are still areas that I struggle with today. Having said that, I do think that there are some areas which have almost become second nature, so it isn't as if I haven't changed at all. I guess what I'm saying is that in some areas, we do what comes naturally and it takes a concious focus to change it. In others, we seem to be able to develop ourselves to treat and work in a certain way.
So does that mean that this annual naval gazing is a waste of time? The setting of resolutions etc? I've always thought that if there is something you want to change about yourself, there is no point waiting for some arbitrary date to do it. On the other hand, I do think that there is value in contemplating how the year has gone, coming to some conclusions and trying to apply them to the year ahead.
And that, brings us to my year in review ...
My first instinct, is to say that 2015 hasn't been a very satisfactory year. Work was a bit of a nightmare and that didn't leave much time for self-fulfilment. I'm still single. In many ways it feels as if I have been treading water this year.
However, within that rather negative assessment, many good things have happened to me over the last year.
Starting with the most recent, I had a wonderful Christmas. Now before I go on, you have to appreciate that I don't think I have really celebrated Christmas for over 2 decades. My parents opt to have a quiet day in, and I have pretty much continued doing that on my own (I once remember a teacher in secondary school exclaim about homework dated on Christmas day). However, this year I was invited to celebrate Christmas with friends. All I will say is that:
- I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of the presents given to me.
- Oh for the love of God why is there so much chocolate (but the chocolate torte is all mine you hear)
The next thing that comes to mind is my holiday in New York. It wasn't exactly strife free (I came this close to losing my temper at certain points), but it was still an amazing experience. Going to see Sleep No More was a big reason for going, but somehow the memory that sticks in my head in the trip up the Empire State Building. I guess it is a combination of being a fan of the period, the great view at the top, and the wisdom to go first thing in the morning when it isn't too busy. That memory, and the general feeling of "Metropolis" that New York exudes in spades.
CFz of course was also a significant event, but not really in the usual way. Being on crew meant I really didn't have that much time to myself at the con, and the first couple of days were pretty brutal. But by the end of the con things had settled down reasonably well. On a personal level it also worked out a lot smoother than New York but ... *shrugs*. I also went to NFC this year, and while I met some really cool people, I probably had more fun after the con with Fuzzy, than at the con itself (ironic, since that was supposed to be the recovery period! Ha! I slept less at that time than I was at the con ...). I guess my problem is that I felt a little bit exposed at NFC, in a way I never have at other cons. It is certainly something that would change if I kept attending, but after missing EF I feel I shouldn't neglect it. Only down side is missing SilverFox ..
Another significant thing this year is that I've started going to Improv classes, and I think we've started something of a group now in Reading, to be nurtured further in 2016. I keep a small jar of things I feel proud of, and of the things that went in, half were related to Improv. I used to think I could "do" Improv, but I've learnt that like everyone else, I have strengths and weaknesses, and I have a better understanding of that now than I did then.
Well, that's a lot of writing about the past, what about the future? Again, I need to make a decision about my direction, both professionally and personally.
At work, I think I have gradually come to the realization that I am more interested in the management side rather than the technical details. I've always wanted to be a coder, but actually, I think my strength is in assessing business processes, rather than software processes. Getting to that place though, will be tricky for a few reasons.
On a personal basis, I'm still looking for that person to share my life with. I've never really known how to do "the dating game". I do clearly neglect certain types of socializing, but the problem is I'm not really looking for new friends (I struggle to keep in touch with the ones I already have), I'm looking for prospective partners. I guess it is like building the third floor of a building without the foundations, but it seems like all my friends are happily settled. Where then does one look?
Anyway, too much rambling. Maybe more thoughts later. I've enjoyed this. Maybe I'll do it more often ...
I guess I'm here today because I need to ramble freely, the complete antithesis of twitter, and even more than what Facebook would comfortably handle (not even going into whether I -would- ramble freely on Facebook).
Mostly, I need to ramble about the year just gone. I need to do my annual review this weekend, and I started reading my old performance reviews at my company. I have to say it was interesting to see how much of it still feels applicable today. Some of the "areas for improvement" I recognise are still areas that I struggle with today. Having said that, I do think that there are some areas which have almost become second nature, so it isn't as if I haven't changed at all. I guess what I'm saying is that in some areas, we do what comes naturally and it takes a concious focus to change it. In others, we seem to be able to develop ourselves to treat and work in a certain way.
So does that mean that this annual naval gazing is a waste of time? The setting of resolutions etc? I've always thought that if there is something you want to change about yourself, there is no point waiting for some arbitrary date to do it. On the other hand, I do think that there is value in contemplating how the year has gone, coming to some conclusions and trying to apply them to the year ahead.
And that, brings us to my year in review ...
My first instinct, is to say that 2015 hasn't been a very satisfactory year. Work was a bit of a nightmare and that didn't leave much time for self-fulfilment. I'm still single. In many ways it feels as if I have been treading water this year.
However, within that rather negative assessment, many good things have happened to me over the last year.
Starting with the most recent, I had a wonderful Christmas. Now before I go on, you have to appreciate that I don't think I have really celebrated Christmas for over 2 decades. My parents opt to have a quiet day in, and I have pretty much continued doing that on my own (I once remember a teacher in secondary school exclaim about homework dated on Christmas day). However, this year I was invited to celebrate Christmas with friends. All I will say is that:
- I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of the presents given to me.
- Oh for the love of God why is there so much chocolate (but the chocolate torte is all mine you hear)
The next thing that comes to mind is my holiday in New York. It wasn't exactly strife free (I came this close to losing my temper at certain points), but it was still an amazing experience. Going to see Sleep No More was a big reason for going, but somehow the memory that sticks in my head in the trip up the Empire State Building. I guess it is a combination of being a fan of the period, the great view at the top, and the wisdom to go first thing in the morning when it isn't too busy. That memory, and the general feeling of "Metropolis" that New York exudes in spades.
CFz of course was also a significant event, but not really in the usual way. Being on crew meant I really didn't have that much time to myself at the con, and the first couple of days were pretty brutal. But by the end of the con things had settled down reasonably well. On a personal level it also worked out a lot smoother than New York but ... *shrugs*. I also went to NFC this year, and while I met some really cool people, I probably had more fun after the con with Fuzzy, than at the con itself (ironic, since that was supposed to be the recovery period! Ha! I slept less at that time than I was at the con ...). I guess my problem is that I felt a little bit exposed at NFC, in a way I never have at other cons. It is certainly something that would change if I kept attending, but after missing EF I feel I shouldn't neglect it. Only down side is missing SilverFox ..
Another significant thing this year is that I've started going to Improv classes, and I think we've started something of a group now in Reading, to be nurtured further in 2016. I keep a small jar of things I feel proud of, and of the things that went in, half were related to Improv. I used to think I could "do" Improv, but I've learnt that like everyone else, I have strengths and weaknesses, and I have a better understanding of that now than I did then.
Well, that's a lot of writing about the past, what about the future? Again, I need to make a decision about my direction, both professionally and personally.
At work, I think I have gradually come to the realization that I am more interested in the management side rather than the technical details. I've always wanted to be a coder, but actually, I think my strength is in assessing business processes, rather than software processes. Getting to that place though, will be tricky for a few reasons.
On a personal basis, I'm still looking for that person to share my life with. I've never really known how to do "the dating game". I do clearly neglect certain types of socializing, but the problem is I'm not really looking for new friends (I struggle to keep in touch with the ones I already have), I'm looking for prospective partners. I guess it is like building the third floor of a building without the foundations, but it seems like all my friends are happily settled. Where then does one look?
Anyway, too much rambling. Maybe more thoughts later. I've enjoyed this. Maybe I'll do it more often ...