(no subject)
It's funny knowing that you are in love. I've found that I've said "I love you" or "I think I'm in love" not a LOT of times in my life, but probably more than were actually the case. I've been in a very serious relationship for over 2 1/2 years now and I've always said "I love you, Adriana," and I always truly believed what I said.
Who knows? Maybe I have always loved you. I tend to believe it, because I've always had such strong feelings for you. But was it love, or was it a feeling of security mixed with the knowledge that I knew I was going out with someone as amazing as you? I honestly wish I could answer that question, but I can't.
All that changed some time back. I do believe that I've always been in love with you, but something happened to our relationship. Maybe it was how close I came to losing you last year. Maybe it was seeing you for the first time in like 10 weeks at Thanksgiving. Maybe it was the amazing summer we just experienced. I suppose physical intimacy adds another dimension to a relationship, but it's more than just that. For the past few months, I have physical and emotional proof to support the idea that I am head-over-heels, incessantly, and infinitely in love with you. I know I told you before I left for Stanford that there was nothing to worry about, that we would be together forever, but I was wrong. We weren't as strong as we thought we were, and we almost lost something very special.
Things are different now. I was stupid and I was immature, and I didn't know how to handle this kind of long-distance relationship. I just couldn't balance two lives. What I realize now is that I don't have two lives: I can finally talk to you without worrying about getting a life at Stanford. My two lives are one, and that's how it will always be. No, I don't see you every day, or every week, or every month, but you're right here with me. That's the way it should have been last year. I've come to understand what it takes to be a committed boyfriend, but more than that I've embraced the challenge. It's funny, because pretty close to half of my friends last year were in relationships. We're the only one that's survived. I guess it's because we both understand each other much better now and are much more willing and prepared to make sacrifices for one another, but more than that we both WANT to talk to each other.
Adriana, you've done more to make me grow up and understand the concept of love than any person ever will. That sounds like a cheesy break-up line, but I mean it in the completely opposite manner. We've made it so far together, at a time when so many other apparently strong couples have failed. You are truly one of a kind, and I want the chance to make things even better. I want to grow even more, and I want to experiment, grow closer, push the line, and become one with you.
Okay, so I know this might be a cheesy post, but I think that for the first time since the early posts I made after I met Adriana, it's the most genuine. Love is a funny thing, because you can be in love with someone without breaking the surface of possibilities. It's kind of like a ladder (yeah yeah, that's a really stupid analogy). You climb the first rung and know you are in love. Well, I'm not at the top rung yet, but I finally have this sort of clarity in how I view us. I can't explain what I was like or what I felt for the first two years or so, but I know that it was nothing to what I feel now. For the first time in my life, I can say unhesitatingly and most resoundingly that I am in love.
Who knows? Maybe I have always loved you. I tend to believe it, because I've always had such strong feelings for you. But was it love, or was it a feeling of security mixed with the knowledge that I knew I was going out with someone as amazing as you? I honestly wish I could answer that question, but I can't.
All that changed some time back. I do believe that I've always been in love with you, but something happened to our relationship. Maybe it was how close I came to losing you last year. Maybe it was seeing you for the first time in like 10 weeks at Thanksgiving. Maybe it was the amazing summer we just experienced. I suppose physical intimacy adds another dimension to a relationship, but it's more than just that. For the past few months, I have physical and emotional proof to support the idea that I am head-over-heels, incessantly, and infinitely in love with you. I know I told you before I left for Stanford that there was nothing to worry about, that we would be together forever, but I was wrong. We weren't as strong as we thought we were, and we almost lost something very special.
Things are different now. I was stupid and I was immature, and I didn't know how to handle this kind of long-distance relationship. I just couldn't balance two lives. What I realize now is that I don't have two lives: I can finally talk to you without worrying about getting a life at Stanford. My two lives are one, and that's how it will always be. No, I don't see you every day, or every week, or every month, but you're right here with me. That's the way it should have been last year. I've come to understand what it takes to be a committed boyfriend, but more than that I've embraced the challenge. It's funny, because pretty close to half of my friends last year were in relationships. We're the only one that's survived. I guess it's because we both understand each other much better now and are much more willing and prepared to make sacrifices for one another, but more than that we both WANT to talk to each other.
Adriana, you've done more to make me grow up and understand the concept of love than any person ever will. That sounds like a cheesy break-up line, but I mean it in the completely opposite manner. We've made it so far together, at a time when so many other apparently strong couples have failed. You are truly one of a kind, and I want the chance to make things even better. I want to grow even more, and I want to experiment, grow closer, push the line, and become one with you.
Okay, so I know this might be a cheesy post, but I think that for the first time since the early posts I made after I met Adriana, it's the most genuine. Love is a funny thing, because you can be in love with someone without breaking the surface of possibilities. It's kind of like a ladder (yeah yeah, that's a really stupid analogy). You climb the first rung and know you are in love. Well, I'm not at the top rung yet, but I finally have this sort of clarity in how I view us. I can't explain what I was like or what I felt for the first two years or so, but I know that it was nothing to what I feel now. For the first time in my life, I can say unhesitatingly and most resoundingly that I am in love.