holy crap
well fuckers today was going well till i messed everything up! i cant believe that i let my emotions cloud my judgment because some masochist provoked me. i cant believe myself. i argued yesterday about the fact that i would never lay a hand on you and as i was pulling away from you today, i let my anger take over me and my hand went back and i hit your arm. i will never forgive myself for that and i dont expect you to either. i guess he wasnt lying when he said i didnt deserve you because right now i feel as though im the last guy that you should be with. i really dont deserve you. i had hopes for saturday but i dont even know anymore. i dont think i can go on knowing that i let you down. i tried to be the best i could but my anger kicked in and messed everything up. my hands are shaking, not because of the guy i almost fought but because i layed a hand on you. im at a loss of words. if you dont think we should carry on just let me know and ill understand. i love you soo much but i completely understand if you never want to talk to me ever again. i tried so hard for 6 months and messed it all up in about 2 seconds.and for what? im very sorry! ive never been soo disappointed in myself. yet again im really sorry. and people please dont come up to me and ask me whats wrong because i really dont want to talk about it.
migue
migue