Too Old
Holy crap...2 journal in one month. It's a frickin' miracle. So I went out and met up with my friend Katie. As you can tell from the time of this post, it was a short night. It was Katie's sister's 21st b-day (did you get that!) It was first time in a really long time that I felt OLD. It was awful, but at the same time almost refreshing. We went to the corner on Water Street (bleh). I don't like water street in the first place, and this place was like underage central. It was actually really humorous just to watch everything that was happening. For example, there was a girl grinding on this guy, and it's sooooo fricking easy for the guy. All he has to do is just stand there and stick his crotch out. The girl on the other hand is trying her damndest to work her thang...all the while internally analyzing every single move the guy makes to determine how he feels about her. The whole thing is completely hilarious. I mean, I'm only 23, so it's not like I'm old or anything...in fact, I'm very young, thank you! But it's just amazing that this scene actually used to be appealing to me and I used to LOVE these bars. They were like, me and my girl's bars, which is exactly how the girls I was out w/ felt. I mean, do we really grow that much in 2 years? It's crazy to really think about it in retrospect. I guess there's just a lot more stuff out there that's more important to me than drinking. Like work. I HATE coming into work with a hangover. I feel completely unproductive and just like crap. So I mean, what's the point of getting blasted on a Thursday night? I see none. Not that I hate drinking or anything. Anyone that would've seen me last weekend would know, I definately don't hate drinking. I just feel like there's a time and place now. Priorities...crazy!
And the whole guy scene on water street. Not cool. Like I said before, these guys don't have to work for ANYTHING. The girls just basically throw themselves at the guys and then the guys are like, ok! And we wonder why they treat us like crap! I guess that's just another priority. The whole thing is pretty damn interesting. Oh yeah, and now I smell like an ashtray!!! I can't wait to go out in Madison tomorrow where you can't smoke in the bars. I'm such as stooge. That's just the thing though. It's not like I don't want to go out and have fun. I LOVE going out, it just seems to be in a different capacity. For example, tomorrow I'm going to Mad-town to visit Shanny. We're going to get together w/ a group of ppl, chill and drink at Shan's, then probably go out. But it's a different kind of going out. It's not a grinding my ass on some guy, but at a place where you can actually hear the other person speak. It's not even like that though. There's just a different reasoning behind the whole thing. That's it. You don't go out to meet "someone", you go out to meet people. To get to know ppl, just to know them, not to hook up, or whatever. It's just funny to think about this whole thing. I like this place though, better probably than when I was 21, although I can't say that either, b/c I LOVED being 21. I guess it's just a different place. And I like it...
Yeah, so I'm turning over a new leaf. Well not really, just trying to focus on something. I'm trying not to be so judgemental. I felt like I was completely stereotyped recently, and it made me realize how shitty it felt. I mean, have you ever felt like someone just looked at you and then you could see them putting you in this little box? This little box that describes you and labels you. After I realized that I'd been placed in the box part of me felt like I needed to conform to it, to ensure to this person that yes, they had pegged me just right. But then other parts of me were just wanted to completely break out of it and prove to the person that they had me totally wrong. But in the end that part wasn't true to myself either b/c I was trying so hard to prove them wrong, I eventually broke away from what was really me as well. Make sense? Probably not! So I've decided that I hated that feeling and it really would be hypocritical of me to make those assumptions about another person. I don't want to be in the box, so why should I place ppl in that box as well. You want to be in the box? I don't want to be in the box? A cat in a box? HAHA!! Ok, time for bed. Getting all deep before bed and shit...scares me!
And the whole guy scene on water street. Not cool. Like I said before, these guys don't have to work for ANYTHING. The girls just basically throw themselves at the guys and then the guys are like, ok! And we wonder why they treat us like crap! I guess that's just another priority. The whole thing is pretty damn interesting. Oh yeah, and now I smell like an ashtray!!! I can't wait to go out in Madison tomorrow where you can't smoke in the bars. I'm such as stooge. That's just the thing though. It's not like I don't want to go out and have fun. I LOVE going out, it just seems to be in a different capacity. For example, tomorrow I'm going to Mad-town to visit Shanny. We're going to get together w/ a group of ppl, chill and drink at Shan's, then probably go out. But it's a different kind of going out. It's not a grinding my ass on some guy, but at a place where you can actually hear the other person speak. It's not even like that though. There's just a different reasoning behind the whole thing. That's it. You don't go out to meet "someone", you go out to meet people. To get to know ppl, just to know them, not to hook up, or whatever. It's just funny to think about this whole thing. I like this place though, better probably than when I was 21, although I can't say that either, b/c I LOVED being 21. I guess it's just a different place. And I like it...
Yeah, so I'm turning over a new leaf. Well not really, just trying to focus on something. I'm trying not to be so judgemental. I felt like I was completely stereotyped recently, and it made me realize how shitty it felt. I mean, have you ever felt like someone just looked at you and then you could see them putting you in this little box? This little box that describes you and labels you. After I realized that I'd been placed in the box part of me felt like I needed to conform to it, to ensure to this person that yes, they had pegged me just right. But then other parts of me were just wanted to completely break out of it and prove to the person that they had me totally wrong. But in the end that part wasn't true to myself either b/c I was trying so hard to prove them wrong, I eventually broke away from what was really me as well. Make sense? Probably not! So I've decided that I hated that feeling and it really would be hypocritical of me to make those assumptions about another person. I don't want to be in the box, so why should I place ppl in that box as well. You want to be in the box? I don't want to be in the box? A cat in a box? HAHA!! Ok, time for bed. Getting all deep before bed and shit...scares me!