Dating Derrick... Again
I just got off the phone with Derrick. I don't understand why I like him so so much! It's great to have such string feelings for someone and to know that they like you as well! However, I have this uneasy feeling in my gut that something isn't right. There's something keeping me from trusting him. I think a large part of it is that he maintains his closeness with other women, most of whom are exes.
I am all for being friends with exes, but he spends the night at their houses, meets them at all hours of the night and they have the expectation of him that all these things are acceptable.
at this point, I have told him that I am SURE I like him for him. Which is true. Has always been true. Until a few weeks ago, I was holding back because ever since Arif broke my heart, I wasn't sure I was able to pull my weight in a relationship. Now that I feel healed enough to deal with the standard gives-and-takes of a relationship, I have avidly persued Derrick. I have assured him that it is HIM I like and HIM I want to be around.
Also, since dating Aakash for a few months (March-July), I realized that having a good connection with a person (like I do with Derrick) sure beats the convention of dating someone "safe" and "predictable" (which actually reminds me a lot of Matt. Ultimately, Aakash ran out of time for me as he took him MCATS, so I broke up with him. Derrick has all the time I need from him, but he also spends just as much time with Samira - and seemingly just as intimate! It drives me mad to think what he might be doing when I'm not with him - even though when I AM with him, everything is so so wonderful and fun and steamy, even!
Just knowing that he and Samira often fall back into having a sexual relationship (when both are single as I understand) makes me very uneasy about his time spent alone with her. He told me how she flirts with him and makes advances and asks him flat out to sleep with her. He told me today that he fell asleep on her bed last night! WHAT THE HELL!? I believe him that nothing happened, but am I wrong in thinking that given their history and his desire to attempt a real relationship with me, that he should be VERY careful about falling asleep anywhere but his place and my place?
He said that he told her anything more than friends between them is over, but I don't really trust her. And I know that it takes TWO and I think I trust him... but I just feel like he is allowing himself to be in situations that could easily lead to a very tempting situation. and I don't like it. For me, this is a no-brainer. A person should not even have to CONSIDER whether their mate is sleeping over at exes houses or not. For him, this appears to be a big sacrifice...
I am all for being friends with exes, but he spends the night at their houses, meets them at all hours of the night and they have the expectation of him that all these things are acceptable.
at this point, I have told him that I am SURE I like him for him. Which is true. Has always been true. Until a few weeks ago, I was holding back because ever since Arif broke my heart, I wasn't sure I was able to pull my weight in a relationship. Now that I feel healed enough to deal with the standard gives-and-takes of a relationship, I have avidly persued Derrick. I have assured him that it is HIM I like and HIM I want to be around.
Also, since dating Aakash for a few months (March-July), I realized that having a good connection with a person (like I do with Derrick) sure beats the convention of dating someone "safe" and "predictable" (which actually reminds me a lot of Matt. Ultimately, Aakash ran out of time for me as he took him MCATS, so I broke up with him. Derrick has all the time I need from him, but he also spends just as much time with Samira - and seemingly just as intimate! It drives me mad to think what he might be doing when I'm not with him - even though when I AM with him, everything is so so wonderful and fun and steamy, even!
Just knowing that he and Samira often fall back into having a sexual relationship (when both are single as I understand) makes me very uneasy about his time spent alone with her. He told me how she flirts with him and makes advances and asks him flat out to sleep with her. He told me today that he fell asleep on her bed last night! WHAT THE HELL!? I believe him that nothing happened, but am I wrong in thinking that given their history and his desire to attempt a real relationship with me, that he should be VERY careful about falling asleep anywhere but his place and my place?
He said that he told her anything more than friends between them is over, but I don't really trust her. And I know that it takes TWO and I think I trust him... but I just feel like he is allowing himself to be in situations that could easily lead to a very tempting situation. and I don't like it. For me, this is a no-brainer. A person should not even have to CONSIDER whether their mate is sleeping over at exes houses or not. For him, this appears to be a big sacrifice...