Nick Jimenez Day
Ever wondered what it would be like if you had your own national holiday? hen would it be? What would people celebrate? What would be the customs?
On Nick Jimenez Day, it woul dbe completely socially acceptable to say all the things that you've had on your mind but normally shouldn't actually verbalize because they're too mean or dangerous or disgusting or shocking or embarassing or whatever.
- Hey you. I don't like you. You seem to be under the impression that because I was your friend in the long long ago, I still am. Thing is I realized you're beyond an asshole. You're past stupid bitch. There isn't really a name for what you are. Whatever it is, I would much rather forget I know you and have you stop the occasional hellos where I feel obligated to hello you back because I'm not enough of an asshole to ask you to kindly shut the fuck up.
- Hey you. I know we're friends, but in all honesty I'd like to take this relationship to the next level and see you naked.
- Listen man. I don't have a problem with you. I mean, we're not really friends, but I don't mind shooting the shit with you on occasion. The thing is the hugs. I swear, man, if you keep giving me those stupid as shit bear hugs every time you see me I am going to get to the point where the only way I will know how to respond to the extreme levels of annoyance I'm experienceing will be to stick you right in the mouth.
- I love you man. You're like a brother to me and if I was presented with a choice between saving your life and keeping mine, it wouldn't take long for me to decide that I'd rather lose mine.
- I didn't really have computer problems. The thing is that I said I would do you a favor, then got into somehting on TV and by the time it was over I realized that I was slightly tired and way too damn lazy to keep a little promise to a friend. I'm not proud of what I did, but I AM going to bed early tonight.
God damn. How fuckin sweet would that be. Just go and say that shit. My holiday would be a celebration of extreme, unadulterated frankness that showed no remorse, regret, or mercy. Feelings and emotional outcomes of not keeping your mouth shut would take a backseat to the almost literal lifting of the weight that comes from getting things off your chest.
Every now and then we celebrate Nick Jimenez Day for just a little bit.
Alot of the rest of the time...
We (or at least I) feel painfully heavy.
On Nick Jimenez Day, it woul dbe completely socially acceptable to say all the things that you've had on your mind but normally shouldn't actually verbalize because they're too mean or dangerous or disgusting or shocking or embarassing or whatever.
- Hey you. I don't like you. You seem to be under the impression that because I was your friend in the long long ago, I still am. Thing is I realized you're beyond an asshole. You're past stupid bitch. There isn't really a name for what you are. Whatever it is, I would much rather forget I know you and have you stop the occasional hellos where I feel obligated to hello you back because I'm not enough of an asshole to ask you to kindly shut the fuck up.
- Hey you. I know we're friends, but in all honesty I'd like to take this relationship to the next level and see you naked.
- Listen man. I don't have a problem with you. I mean, we're not really friends, but I don't mind shooting the shit with you on occasion. The thing is the hugs. I swear, man, if you keep giving me those stupid as shit bear hugs every time you see me I am going to get to the point where the only way I will know how to respond to the extreme levels of annoyance I'm experienceing will be to stick you right in the mouth.
- I love you man. You're like a brother to me and if I was presented with a choice between saving your life and keeping mine, it wouldn't take long for me to decide that I'd rather lose mine.
- I didn't really have computer problems. The thing is that I said I would do you a favor, then got into somehting on TV and by the time it was over I realized that I was slightly tired and way too damn lazy to keep a little promise to a friend. I'm not proud of what I did, but I AM going to bed early tonight.
God damn. How fuckin sweet would that be. Just go and say that shit. My holiday would be a celebration of extreme, unadulterated frankness that showed no remorse, regret, or mercy. Feelings and emotional outcomes of not keeping your mouth shut would take a backseat to the almost literal lifting of the weight that comes from getting things off your chest.
Every now and then we celebrate Nick Jimenez Day for just a little bit.
Alot of the rest of the time...
We (or at least I) feel painfully heavy.