(no subject)
I was very much looking forward to today and, actually, it started out pretty good. I met with my adviser at 9 to talk about how one goes about taking a term off in case I do do the HRC thing. Basically, you just don't register and you don't show up. You have to do paperwork to come back, but to leave, nope. Then classes were good. Our fill in grad student for Environmental Soc, who is great btw, is going to be staying and team teaching with our poor professor. The prof is like 70 years old and he fell down or off his bike or something and tore his quad muscle off the bone. So he had surgery last week and is on vicadin now. Thus, his ability to teach is slightly impaired. But the dude who is filling in has been awesome, we actually have interesting and helpful discussions. It has become one of the best classes I've ever taken. Before that class I had Intro to Psych which is also a lot of fun.
This afternoon I wrote my personal statement for the RC program. I'm going to fix it up tomorrow after my mid term and I'll be all set to send in my application. Then I did a bit of studying. I have a midterm in my Political Sociology class tomorrow, it's open book and open notes... I don't really understand, but ok. So I don't feel a terrible need to study since I did the readings (well except for the one book that plex has not yet sorted) but I'll still be fine. Plus, I've been bad about studying in general this term.
So I met Leslie DeMonte after dinner and to be honest our meeting just pissed me off. She yelled at me because Rainbow hasn't asked the support network for money for Rainbow Week. She was being very careful about what she was saying instead of just being honest and I say right through it and it pissed me off. I don't like being yelled at because Rainbow is actually independent and doing well. If she had just said "Well the Support Network is here to help" or given some ideas of what they could co-sponsor with us, that would have worked so much better then yelling. Gee, really miss her now. I just smiled and took it though, cause she is writing me a recommendation. I think that there is a lot of Support Network insecurity going on now that there is a resource center and the support network's job is unclear.
After my little, annoying meeting with Leslie I walked into the Resource Center and I was asked to join the interview with Jon and Jenn going on. Kellogg Sara and other guy were writing a paper on the institution of NU and how LGBT issues play out. It was funny to watch Jon and Jenn guard what they said and then to have me be totally honest. After they left I was even more honest. I was already pissed and it was confidential so I told them how I really feel about the resource center and the administration and the support network, etc. But it left me a bit angry. It's hard to stay focused and hopeful when so much is blocking what needs to be done. I found that thinking about those road blocks just drive me down. Instead I have been looking on the bright side and using my anger and frustration to push me forward and make me more confident. It actually seems to be working. Before these feelings really got me down. But right now I am angry and frustrated and ready to work harder. It's almost out of spite and pride. I want to prove that we can do it and that we can get past all these road blocks that are put up in front of us.
But then I talk to people that I would hope to get encouragement from and I only get more crap and more discouraging statements. That makes me even more angry. How dare you question my dreams just because you are jaded or bitter or disillusioned, just because it isn't something you want to do? Fuck you. That is bullshit I do not need in my life.
Oye, I think it is time to sleep and chill before I actually send out some of those e-mails and IMs that I really want to sent out.
This afternoon I wrote my personal statement for the RC program. I'm going to fix it up tomorrow after my mid term and I'll be all set to send in my application. Then I did a bit of studying. I have a midterm in my Political Sociology class tomorrow, it's open book and open notes... I don't really understand, but ok. So I don't feel a terrible need to study since I did the readings (well except for the one book that plex has not yet sorted) but I'll still be fine. Plus, I've been bad about studying in general this term.
So I met Leslie DeMonte after dinner and to be honest our meeting just pissed me off. She yelled at me because Rainbow hasn't asked the support network for money for Rainbow Week. She was being very careful about what she was saying instead of just being honest and I say right through it and it pissed me off. I don't like being yelled at because Rainbow is actually independent and doing well. If she had just said "Well the Support Network is here to help" or given some ideas of what they could co-sponsor with us, that would have worked so much better then yelling. Gee, really miss her now. I just smiled and took it though, cause she is writing me a recommendation. I think that there is a lot of Support Network insecurity going on now that there is a resource center and the support network's job is unclear.
After my little, annoying meeting with Leslie I walked into the Resource Center and I was asked to join the interview with Jon and Jenn going on. Kellogg Sara and other guy were writing a paper on the institution of NU and how LGBT issues play out. It was funny to watch Jon and Jenn guard what they said and then to have me be totally honest. After they left I was even more honest. I was already pissed and it was confidential so I told them how I really feel about the resource center and the administration and the support network, etc. But it left me a bit angry. It's hard to stay focused and hopeful when so much is blocking what needs to be done. I found that thinking about those road blocks just drive me down. Instead I have been looking on the bright side and using my anger and frustration to push me forward and make me more confident. It actually seems to be working. Before these feelings really got me down. But right now I am angry and frustrated and ready to work harder. It's almost out of spite and pride. I want to prove that we can do it and that we can get past all these road blocks that are put up in front of us.
But then I talk to people that I would hope to get encouragement from and I only get more crap and more discouraging statements. That makes me even more angry. How dare you question my dreams just because you are jaded or bitter or disillusioned, just because it isn't something you want to do? Fuck you. That is bullshit I do not need in my life.
Oye, I think it is time to sleep and chill before I actually send out some of those e-mails and IMs that I really want to sent out.