(Taoris) The Pros & Cons of Overthinking (part 2)
part 1
Zitao is surprised how quickly he and Wufan establish a friendship (of sorts?? because well, Wufan is pretty awkward and Zitao is still just as horny as ever except he tries not to say anything aloud because what if he scared Wufan away and when they finally started talking to each other too wow Zitao can’t imagine having Wufan avoid him- and ugh, he’s started thinking too much again).
Despite Zitao being the excessively homosexual freak who thinks with his dick, Wufan seems to actually kind of like (as in would have sex with???) him, and he interestedly listens to Zitao talk about his classes (although, Zitao stays away from psych because he has a really big test coming up and well, he really doesn’t even want to think about it). Wufan especially likes hearing about wushu, and on multiple occasions, Zitao has to seriously censor himself from saying stupid things like, “Would you like to see my wushu stick?” because that would make him seem like a complete retard (which he kind of is, if he’s speaking honestly).
But yes, they do become something of friends, despite Zitao’s, er, (bad) habits and Wufan’s (sexy) awkwardness.
“Um, are you free on Friday?” Wufan asks, one Wednesday a few weeks after their first conversation. Zitao has been texting Luhan because fuck, he just knows he bombed that psych test, but he nearly drops his cellphone when he realizes what Wufan said.
“Friday?” he repeats, swallowing hard. “Well, I mean, I have wushu until like 7:30, but after that I should be,” he clears his throat, trying his best not to imagine all of the things Wufan might be wanting to ask him (and most of them are sexual), “free.”
“Good,” Wufan smiles, which, Zitao has decided, is probably the most goddamn attractive thing on the entire planet. “My workplace is throwing a party for one of my coworkers. They told us to invite a bunch of people to come, but I don’t really,” he hesitates for a second, “have anyone else to invite,” (ah, so Zitao is like, his only option is that it), “But I’d really, really like it if you’d come with me, because,” he hesitates again, his cheeks turning light pink, “Well, I like you, I guess.”
Zitao has to close his eyes to stop himself from screaming. Jesus fucking christ and a unicorn, did the words ‘I like you’ really just come out of Wufan’s glorious mouth because someone call a doctor, Zitao’s dick might just have broken.
“Did you know you’re a Greek God?” Zitao says without thinking. Wufan stares at him for a moment before he swears and quickly adds, “Shit, I mean- party, yes, I’ll go.” How wide are those bus windows again? Because they’re looking mighty inviting right about now.
“Great,” Wufan sighs with relief. “Then how about I come pick you up around 8:30?”
“You- I mean-” Zitao mentally punches himself in the face. “Ohmygod, yes. That would be perfect.”
"Um, Zitao, what are you wearing?" Luhan asks, eyeing the younger boy with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.
"Um, Luhan, it's called a suit jacket," Zitao replies stuffily, "Maybe you should get your eyes checked."
"No, idiot, I know what it is," Luhan rolls said eyes, "But why are you wearing it? And are those patent leather shoes, because-"
"I'm going to a party , OK?" Zitao interrupts irritably, folding his arms. "What, so I'm not allowed to look nice or something?" Luhan stares at him.
"Wait, so let me get this straight," Luhan says, "Our little Zitao, who doesn't drink alcohol, doesn't do drugs, and can't even be in the same room as an attractive guy without losing his dick - that very same Zitao is going to a party?"
"Wufan said it would be formal," Zitao frowns, his left eye twitching.
"Trust me," Luhan assures him, "Formal doesn't matter."
"God, why do you do that?" Zitao groans, "Why must you ruin everything for me? I was actually looking forward to this because Jesus christ, Wufan invited me, but now I kind of want to shove you out of the nearest window-"
"Zitao," Wufan calls out, and oh god, forget whatever Zitao was just saying because wow, he looks absolutely stunning and are his bangs pushed back because goddamn it looks motherfucking sexy-
"Ew, Zitao, your dick is showing," Luhan says distastefully. Zitao chokes and coughs while Wufan's face turns red.
"I'm going to kill you," Zitao tells Luhan, who simply beams.
Zitao and Wufan make their way to Wufan's car after bidding goodbye to Luhan (whose final words were something along the lines of trying not to fry Zitao's dick and wow, Zitao really honest to god almost punched him) but Wufan's cheeks are still a little pink, which looks oh-god-so-attractive on him.
"Um, your friend was... interesting," Wufan says, laughing slightly which makes Zitao kind of want to punch him in the face too (but for a different reason?? Because he's too perfect???).
"Yeah, but, like, I don't really know if you can call Luhan my friend," Zitao replies, "More like... the guy I hang out with who doesn't like anything and constantly uses so much sarcasm it makes you want to cry blood?" Wufan laughs again, like, really laughs, and ohmygod, yes, Zitao REALLY likes that laugh.
Easily moving to a different subject, Wufan brings up the party.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you before, but I'm going to be performing at around 9:30," he says, and holy shit the first thing Zitao thinks of is pole dancing but that can't be right because-
"Um, performing?" he repeats curiously (and he's kind of hoping that maybe Wufan does pole dance? Maybe??).
"I rap," Wufan tells him. Even better. Oh god, Zitao thinks, get in me.
"Can you do that in bed?" he asks- and shit, he's not thinking again.
"Um... what?" Wufan manages to ask, and he's staring at Zitao who's considering rolling the car window down and hurling himself out of it-
"Nevermind," he mumbles, blushing furiously.
Luhan was right; formal didn't matter. Everyone is dressed similarly to Zitao, but loud hip-hop music blares throughout the club and the bar is packed with people and Zitao definitely sees more than one hot guy and are all parties like this because if he's speaking honestly, it's not all that bad. He still won't drink, though.
... OK, maybe a little since Wufan handed him a glass.
"Wufan," a tall, dorky looking boy with a cute face calls over the music, "Glad you could make it! Who's your friend?" On closer inspection, wow he's kind of hot (but obviously he has nothing on Wufan because well, duh, Greek god and everything).
"Chanyeol, this is Zitao. Zitao, this is my coworker, Chanyeol. It's his birthday, so that's why we're having a party," Wufan explains.
"It's nice to meet you," Chanyeol smiles widely.
"Um, yeah," Zitao says, giving him a brief smile in return. "Happy birthday?"
"Thanks!" Chanyeol exclaims.
Somehow, despite countless excuses of being the worst dancer in the whole world ("You do wushu," Wufan says, "how can you be bad at dancing."), Zitao gets dragged into the crowd by Wufan and wow, it was a good idea because Wufan can dance. Like, hands on Zitao's hips, grinding and panting and Jesus christ, it feels so good that Zitao has to force himself to remember they're in public before he does something seriously naughty, that kind of good.
But wow, he really wants to just rip off Wufan's clothes and-
"I have to go," Wufan whispers, and Zitao whimpers a little as he- holy fucking shit, he just kissed Zitao's neck oh god oh god Wufan's lips on Zitao's skin oh god.
"What?" he somehow manages to ask but it comes out more like a moan because Wufan is motherfucking nibbling his neck.
"I have to rap," Wufan reminds him, but he has yet to move away from Zitao and goddammit Zitao really doesn't know if this is a good thing because if it goes on any longer he might not be able to control his dick-
"Wufan, there you are!" Chanyeol declares, and ugh, Wufan pulls away from Zitao which makes him realize that no, he really didn't want that to stop, but it's too late already because, "Come on," Chanyeol presses, grabbing Wufan by the arm and tugging him toward a stage that's at the back, and oh god he's going to rap now isn't he oh god.
Zitao watches eagerly as Chanyeol and Wufan ascend the stage, and the crowd practically roars with excitement. Chanyeol brings out two microphones and begins speaking but Zitao's feeling kind of foggy and can't really pay attention (must be because of the alcohol fuck he knew drinking was a bad idea) and the crowd shouts a response and Zitao thinks he might have shouted something too but he's not really sure.
And then a new beat starts playing and Chanyeol and Wufan are well, rapping, and yes it's really, really cool, but Zitao can't really listen at all and wow the room is kind of spinning a lot.
Need fresh air, Zitao thinks, and he's about to turn around and try to figure out how to get out of the club but that's when Chanyeol and Wufan kiss- Jesus fucking christ ohmygod no what the hell why even-
But Zitao is weaving through the crowd. He vomits when he gets outside.
He doesn't go back to the party.
"Luhan, I think I'm dying," Zitao says, groaning and clutching his head. He's slouched over their usual library table except he can't sit up because if he does he's worried that he'll pass out.
"No, you're just hung over," Luhan sighs. "You really can't hold alcohol, can you?"
"How was I supposed to know? I don't drink, remember?" Zitao whines miserably. He can't stop thinking about how he left the party and oh god how Wufan kissed Chanyeol or was it the other way around because frankly it didn't matter-
"Did something happen?" Luhan asks, but Zitao doesn't hear him.
-And it's so obvious that Zitao was totally getting ahead of himself and of course Wufan would already have a boyfriend God why did Zitao have to get so caught up in the idea that Wufan might like him too-
"Um, Zitao?" Luhan asks, only to be ignored again.
-Because fuck why would a Greek god like him possibly be interested in a freak like Zitao but he fucking led Zitao on with his stupid bitch-face and his stupid voice and stupid awkwardness and Jesus christ he fucking broke Zitao's dick way too many times to count-
"Zitao," Luhan says a little more loudly.
-But ugh he was such a good dancer and why the hell did he kiss Zitao's neck if he was already fucking Chanyeol oh god does that he mean he one of those types that just fucks everyone and doesn't actually have a boyfriend and ohmygod did that mean it would be a good thing if Zitao never saw him again and just suffered a broken dick for the rest of his pathetic life-
"Goddammit, Zitao, what the fuck is wrong?" Luhan practically shouts, earning some very ferocious looks from the other students, and Zitao starts and stares at him.
"You didn't have to yell if you wanted my attention," Zitao says, pouting. Luhan glares.
"Just," the older boy says, taking a deep breath, "Stop looking like you just found out you failed psych, please."
"Ohmygod, failing psych would be a blessing compared to this!" Zitao groans.
"Really?" Luhan says, surprised. "Is Wufan straight or something?"
"Ugh, even that would be better," Zitao wails and buries his face in his hands.
Luhan does not prove useful in Zitao's situation at all. Even after Zitao explains the horrible turn of events in detail (and Luhan threatens to drop his calculus textbook on Zitao's head for describing the sensation of Wufan kissing his neck), he simply shrugs and tells Zitao to deal with it.
So Zitao does deal with it. By locking himself in his dorm room to rot and read trashy gay romance novels.
"So, um, how are you holding up?" Luhan asks when Zitao finally peels himself off of his bed after almost two weeks.
"Well, I haven't been to practice, I've done all my homework, and I've gotten through about 4.5 novels," Zitao replies. "You tell me."
"You look... tired," Luhan says, smiling tersely. Zitao gives him a look.
"Ugh, I'm so fucking miserable," Zitao sighs loudly. Honestly speaking, he doesn't know how Luhan managed to drag him out to the library because frankly, he'd much rather be reading the next chapter of the book he'd started this morning-
"Um, I think I did something bad," Luhan says, and Zitao rolls his eyes.
"What, did you get in a fight with your boyfriend or something?"
"No, it doesn't have to do with Sehun," Luhan continues, looking apprehensively toward the library entrance. "Um..."
"Well then, spit it out," Zitao says impatiently. "What did you do?"
"Um, well, you see, I," Luhan starts, swallowing and looking at the library entrance again and God why does he keep doing that is he waiting for something-
"I may have told Wufan how to get here and that we meet here like every day and that you'd probably be here today," Luhan says in one breath. Zitao's pretty sure his stomach just fell out of his butt.
"Y-you did what??" he sputters. Oh god does that mean Wufan is going to be coming here is that why Luhan dragged him here oh god why would Wufan be coming here-
"I saw him when I was taking Sehun out for lunch," Luhan explains sheepishly, "He recognized me right away and, well, he kind of death-glared me into telling him where he could find you."
"Ohmygod," Zitao says, "Ohmygod."
"I'm sorry," Luhan begins, but Zitao abruptly stands up. "Wait, Zitao, come on, why don't you just talk to him?"
"Ohmygod, Luhan, are you crazy???" Zitao asks, nearly in hysterics. "Ohmygod, if I see him right now, I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over him, Jesus christ, why did you tell him I'd be here ohmygod!"
"But seriously, Zitao, he looked really upset when I saw him. Maybe you should stop thinking so much about this and actually try to figure out how he feels about you-?" Luhan is saying, but Zitao has already stood up and bolted for the exit.
He stops dead in his tracks, though, because oh fuck, Wufan is standing right in front of him.
"Shit," he says aloud.
"Found you," Wufan growls.
"Ohmygod, Wufan, I-" Zitao blurts but Wufan looks so angry that he instantly shuts his mouth.
"Do you have any idea-" Wufan starts, but he closes his eyes and shakes his head, mumbling something about there being too many people here before gruffly taking Zitao by the arm and (ow, ow, ow) yanking him down the hallway. He leads Zitao outside and off to the side of the building, letting go of Zitao just when he's sure his arm is going to fall out of its socket.
"What the fuck!" Zitao exclaims, breathless.
"That's my line," Wufan retorts fiercely, and Zitao winces. He pauses momentarily to catch his breath before going on, "First you're practically drooling over me, and you're actually really attractive, so I didn't mind, but Jesus christ, I don't understand you at all!" He holds his head in his hand. "Why the fuck did you leave the party? And where have you been? I even texted you when I hate using my phone-"
"I think too much!" Zitao blurts out, face turning bright red when Wufan stares at him and oh god why did he have to just tell him that ugh oh god-
"... What?" Wufan asks.
"I mean, shit," Zitao's mind is racing and ugh how is he going to explain this, "I have this habit and well, I kind of just overthink everything and well, I kind of really really like you but I thought that you wouldn't like me or at least, not in the way I like you and I really was so happy you invited me to the party - and god, you dance really well - but I didn't really get it because you kissed me so I thought maybe you did like me, but then you kissed Chanyeol or whatever so I thought that maybe you didn't like me after all and I'm really bad at dealing with my problems so basically I just ran away and all of this is because I just think too goddamn much-"
He's cut off as Wufan crashes their lips together and oh god, he stops thinking altogether. Their tongues tangle together and Wufan tastes like a mixture of coffee and something sweet? But Jesus christ it's so good and Zitao kind of moans a little, which turns Wufan's face scarlet.
“Fuck, why are you so horny all the time?” the older boy asks incredulously as he pulls back, and oh god, does that mean that he’s noticed all along that Zitao thinks with his dick- “And I know. I know you think too much.” Oh god, Zitao’s life is over. “But, I mean, in my opinion it’s kind of,” he leans forward, lips brushing Zitao’s again, “Cute.”
“C-cute???” Zitao bursts out and Wufan snorts and ugh Zitao is just way too good at making himself look like a retard-
“Yes, stupid. Cute,” Wufan repeats, holding back a smile.
“H-hold up,” Zitao shakes his head because um, he really has no idea what’s going on right now. “But you- and the kiss with Chanyeol-”
“Chanyeol is weird, OK?” Wufan sighs. “He was the one who kissed me, and he claimed it was a birthday present, but really he was too drunk to actually remember it the next day.”
“..... Ohmygod, are you serious?” Zitao asks, unable to stop his jaw from dropping because wow he really is completely retarded. So does that mean-?
“Yes, Zitao, it means I’m single,” Wufan says (eek, has Zitao always been this easy to read??). “I’m single, and I think I really, really like you.”
“Say that again, will you?” Zitao manages to get out, but before Wufan can speak, Zitao has already kissed him.
“Would you like to touch my wushu stick?”
“Zitao!”
“Sorry, just thought I’d ask.”
Zitao hates to admit it, but Luhan was right. Taking the time to actually talk to Wufan and figure out the older boy’s feelings was definitely a lot more efficient (and satisfying, he might add) than pretending to not exist and reading those trashy gay romance novels and imagining that he’s the main character and Wufan is the love interest- but um, he definitely did not tell Wufan this.
And, after finally managing to get an A on a psych assignment, Zitao makes the conscious decision to stop thinking so much. Which, with both Luhan and Wufan helping him, he believes is actually attainable, if he really works at it.
“So, Zitao, how’s your dick lately?” Luhan asks from across their usual library table.
“I don’t know, you wanna see for yourself?” Zitao retorts, starting to stand up, but Luhan snorts and chokes and laughs and shakes his head and well, it’s not like Zitao was being serious, but whatever.
“Oh, by the way, I saw Wufan the other day,” Luhan mentions when he regains his composure. “I asked how things were going with you, and he blushed really brightly, and actually, it was pretty cute.”
Zitao narrows his eyes. “Luhan, what did you actually say to him?”
“Um, probably something along the lines of, ‘how’s Zitao’s dick lately,’” Luhan shrugs, and Zitao throws a textbook at him.
It’s really warm, Zitao thinks. With the blankets pulled around his body and, that’s right, he’s curled up next to Wufan, he feels really comfortable and tranquil and wow, it’s super nice. Wufan, well, he feels especially nice because his bare skin is smooth and ugh, he’s the perfect size to cuddle with and Zitao just really likes thinking about all the things they did the previous night-
But he promised himself he’d stop thinking so much.
Ugh, but Wufan is really like the best thing that’s ever happened to him besides, well, wushu, but he feels kind of stupid admitting that, so. Except that ever since he and Wufan started dating, he’s sort of gotten progressively hornier? Which is totally entirely honest to God Wufan’s fault because he’s so goddamn attractive?? Being a Greek god and all???
And well, if Zitao’s being completely honest, he doesn’t exactly feel worthy enough for Wufan and sometimes (actually, a lot of the time) he wonders what Wufan sees in him at all because really he’s just an oversexed wushu freak with a (seriously annoying) thinking complex who thinks with his dick all the time and wow, honestly speaking, if Zitao met himself, he probably would not befriend himself.
Which also begs the question of why Luhan hangs around Zitao (and well, vice versa) as well because Zitao is obviously not the ideal friend, but somehow Luhan still talks to him and it’s pretty amazing that Zitao has friends at all, let alone a super sexy bitch-faced boyfriend who’s really, really good in bed-
“You’re thinking too much again,” Wufan mumbles sleepily.
“Right, sorry,” Zitao says.
And well, maybe he still does think way too much-
“Go back to sleep,” Wufan says before kissing him.