(no subject)
I am sabotage:
Consistently setting the scene for ultimate failure, though never surprised when it comes: I PROVE me right by always being so WRONG.
I want to believe I am evil, evil evil & ROTTEN - as if in finally convinving myself I'll achieve some sort of liberation from conscience and I'll wipe my little
TABULA completely RASA; blank slate but not in the pure sense.
I won't be immaculate or untouched or impressionable, I'll be soulless and empty and I won't give a DAMN about what a tragic torture my very existence is to those who love(d) me and even those who have the misfortune of brushing up next to my bruised blotchy elbows. I'll stop apologizing for the impudence, the outlandish NERVE OF ME to presume to breathe, sleep, occupy space. If I were stronger again I'd deny every bodily impulse til I knew for sure I was no human. I am no human.
Consistently setting the scene for ultimate failure, though never surprised when it comes: I PROVE me right by always being so WRONG.
I want to believe I am evil, evil evil & ROTTEN - as if in finally convinving myself I'll achieve some sort of liberation from conscience and I'll wipe my little
TABULA completely RASA; blank slate but not in the pure sense.
I won't be immaculate or untouched or impressionable, I'll be soulless and empty and I won't give a DAMN about what a tragic torture my very existence is to those who love(d) me and even those who have the misfortune of brushing up next to my bruised blotchy elbows. I'll stop apologizing for the impudence, the outlandish NERVE OF ME to presume to breathe, sleep, occupy space. If I were stronger again I'd deny every bodily impulse til I knew for sure I was no human. I am no human.