This too shall pass ... I hope.
Aelvern hasn’t spoken a single word since he was resurrected. I’ve done my best to not say anything to him about it but … it’s really beginning to upset me. I would like to hear his voice again. I would like to know what’s wrong, why he’s choosing to remain silent; I’m afraid to ask. I’m going to try to cheer him up and maybe that will bring him out and he’ll speak again. He does appear to be in a good mood though; obviously it’s not good enough. He’s been through so much lately. I’m afraid for him.
Kyrris, one of his fiancés, found our home somehow the other night. He appeared at the front door quite upset and I had no idea who he was until Penwyn called him by name. Pen introduced me to him as Ael’s husband and the look on Kyrris’ face combined with the panicked response from Aelvern when he’d first heard the paladin’s voice told me that he hadn’t been informed about me or our marriage yet. What a terrible time to find out. He didn’t take it so well, apparently. Penwyn, Helthir and myself only stayed downstairs for a little while before they escorted me upstairs to give Aelvern and Kyrris some privacy. After some time I heard the front door slam. I rushed downstairs to find Ael buried in the couch crying and a ring on the floor. Wasn’t too difficult to figure out what had happened. My heart broke for him, it really did. Although he never talked about his paladin lover much, I always knew he loved him very much and missed him immensely. It was sad that things had to happen like this. I went to Ael’s side, unsure if he’d actually want anything to do with me; afterall, I’m the reason his lover had just stormed out the door. I offered to stay with him or give him space. He flung himself onto me with desperation and sobbed until he fell into unconsciousness. So awful. Surprisingly, the next morning, he was fine. Or I should say, he was not upset. He woke up a lot stronger and able to move more. We spent all morning and part of the early afternoon in bed. Aelvern was all over me, wouldn’t let me get up, fuck … he would barely let me talk. I suppose this is what Penwyn was talking about when he said Ael might cling to me tighter. I’m not complaining, but I really do need to talk to someone to find out what Aelvern needs from me during this time--- I don’t want to fuck it up.
He’s getting stronger every day but he still cannot walk on his own. Dear Light and Sunwell, please don’t let this be permanent. He needs to walk again. I could not bear to see my strong Paladin of the Light, of the mace and shield, my falcon, my foundation, my entire world bound to a wheeled chair for the rest of his life. Please don’t let this happen. I’m going to slip off to Light’s Hope Chapel for prayer soon; when Ael’s stronger and I can leave him with Pen or Helthir for a longer period. He’s eating more, that’s good. And as I said, he's generally in a good mood. He smiles at me an awful lot. He spells out what he wants to say on my arm or chest, or he simply uses body language, which I’m very good at reading. I miss his voice so much. I’m a student of languages, I use my voice to manage my animals and I study closely every word that comes out of everyone’s mouth--- and now I can’t even hear my husband tell me he loves me. It hurts. I’m going to get him to talk again. I need to.
I asked Penwyn to keep an eye on Ael for me this afternoon so I could go to Silvermoon. I love fall and Hallow’s End in one of my favorite holidays. It’s the first one Aelvern and I are spending together. Maybe if I bring some extra happiness into the home it’ll bring him out of his shell a bit. I bought him a lot of candy. A LOT. I don’t like candy myself, but I the woman selling it told me this one is really sour so I bought some of that kind for myself. Maybe I’ll like it. Anyway, I got so much for Ael I needed to get a bag just for him. I had a purple silk satchel made for him with his name embroidered on it. It’s silly, actually, but I don’t care. That bag is filled with sweets. Hope he likes it. Before I left town I caught sight of carved pumpkins. Oh fuck, yes. Carving! Aelvern would like that, I think. I picked up a few pumpkins for us to carve together. I also ordered more pumpkins to have delivered to the house later today because I couldn’t carry more than four. We’ll have more than we know what to do with! The pumpkin farmer was telling me something about pies you can make with them … and bread? I don’t know about these things. I’ll ask someone. I don’t think I could make a pie. That’s not the point anyway, I bought them so Aelvern can take his knife and carve the shit out of something. I imagine this bringing a wide smile to his face.
Maybe a word out of his lips, too.
Kyrris, one of his fiancés, found our home somehow the other night. He appeared at the front door quite upset and I had no idea who he was until Penwyn called him by name. Pen introduced me to him as Ael’s husband and the look on Kyrris’ face combined with the panicked response from Aelvern when he’d first heard the paladin’s voice told me that he hadn’t been informed about me or our marriage yet. What a terrible time to find out. He didn’t take it so well, apparently. Penwyn, Helthir and myself only stayed downstairs for a little while before they escorted me upstairs to give Aelvern and Kyrris some privacy. After some time I heard the front door slam. I rushed downstairs to find Ael buried in the couch crying and a ring on the floor. Wasn’t too difficult to figure out what had happened. My heart broke for him, it really did. Although he never talked about his paladin lover much, I always knew he loved him very much and missed him immensely. It was sad that things had to happen like this. I went to Ael’s side, unsure if he’d actually want anything to do with me; afterall, I’m the reason his lover had just stormed out the door. I offered to stay with him or give him space. He flung himself onto me with desperation and sobbed until he fell into unconsciousness. So awful. Surprisingly, the next morning, he was fine. Or I should say, he was not upset. He woke up a lot stronger and able to move more. We spent all morning and part of the early afternoon in bed. Aelvern was all over me, wouldn’t let me get up, fuck … he would barely let me talk. I suppose this is what Penwyn was talking about when he said Ael might cling to me tighter. I’m not complaining, but I really do need to talk to someone to find out what Aelvern needs from me during this time--- I don’t want to fuck it up.
He’s getting stronger every day but he still cannot walk on his own. Dear Light and Sunwell, please don’t let this be permanent. He needs to walk again. I could not bear to see my strong Paladin of the Light, of the mace and shield, my falcon, my foundation, my entire world bound to a wheeled chair for the rest of his life. Please don’t let this happen. I’m going to slip off to Light’s Hope Chapel for prayer soon; when Ael’s stronger and I can leave him with Pen or Helthir for a longer period. He’s eating more, that’s good. And as I said, he's generally in a good mood. He smiles at me an awful lot. He spells out what he wants to say on my arm or chest, or he simply uses body language, which I’m very good at reading. I miss his voice so much. I’m a student of languages, I use my voice to manage my animals and I study closely every word that comes out of everyone’s mouth--- and now I can’t even hear my husband tell me he loves me. It hurts. I’m going to get him to talk again. I need to.
I asked Penwyn to keep an eye on Ael for me this afternoon so I could go to Silvermoon. I love fall and Hallow’s End in one of my favorite holidays. It’s the first one Aelvern and I are spending together. Maybe if I bring some extra happiness into the home it’ll bring him out of his shell a bit. I bought him a lot of candy. A LOT. I don’t like candy myself, but I the woman selling it told me this one is really sour so I bought some of that kind for myself. Maybe I’ll like it. Anyway, I got so much for Ael I needed to get a bag just for him. I had a purple silk satchel made for him with his name embroidered on it. It’s silly, actually, but I don’t care. That bag is filled with sweets. Hope he likes it. Before I left town I caught sight of carved pumpkins. Oh fuck, yes. Carving! Aelvern would like that, I think. I picked up a few pumpkins for us to carve together. I also ordered more pumpkins to have delivered to the house later today because I couldn’t carry more than four. We’ll have more than we know what to do with! The pumpkin farmer was telling me something about pies you can make with them … and bread? I don’t know about these things. I’ll ask someone. I don’t think I could make a pie. That’s not the point anyway, I bought them so Aelvern can take his knife and carve the shit out of something. I imagine this bringing a wide smile to his face.
Maybe a word out of his lips, too.