Brothers (Blog repost)
I gained a instant family last weekend and what a dysfunctional one at that. Penny and Helthir are really high on the list of men I never thought I’d call my brothers. They are my family now, for better or worse.
The other afternoon this real aggressive dead guy got into Helthir’s face. I don’t recall his name, but he’s Llev’s twin brother. Llev’s the nicer of the two; the one taking the survey on sexual behavior. His brother … was unpleasant. And I’ll admit it wouldn’t have bothered me half as much if it hadn’t been Helthir. I honestly don’t remember everything that went down beyond him getting right up close to him and saying something to him about --- he made some kind of threat? He touched him, I saw that and then I saw red. I wasn’t fucking around when I told him to back the fuck off. He told me that people get what they deserve. I don’t know what came over me, it was some kind of out-of-body experience or a flashback that had nothing to do with the war whatsoever. I could have slit his throat or mine to quench the anguish sweeping over me in that moment. Instead, I told him he was right … except Helthir. He didn’t. Because; he doesn’t. He’s gotten it already. And as long as he’s in my life, he wont suffer again. He’s my brother. I’ll shed blood for him.
Penny. Maybe he’d never want to hear it and never need it from me, I’d do the same for him as I’d do for Helthir. Perhaps not as instinctively. I’m not exactly sure. The situation would have to arise for me to know. I didn’t expect to snarl like Scarlet when flags shot up around Helthir, so I can’t say for sure. I know some things about Pen. I can make some education guesses at the kind of thing I’d jump into if I saw it. For now, I’m well aware of how capable Penny is of protecting himself and suppose he’d only get pissed off at my interference. Nonetheless, I’m going to try my damnedest to keep Aelvern off his back. It probably wont do much good. I haven’t felt quite so helpless over a situation in an eternity. Still. I’ll try, because Penwyn is my brother, too.
Before last Sunday Kae was the only thing I had like a brother. "Like a brother" is insulting, because you don’t need blood or a Light wielder giving a ceremony to make a brother. His relation to me is just as important or strong as theirs, maybe moreso because it was formed out of respect and bonding. I don’t want to be nervous about Saturday, but I am. I’m fairly confident that nothing could happen to drive a giant wedge between us to the point of non-existence.
Brothers might fight or maybe hate each other. It’s not the kind of thing that ever goes away, though. You always have a brother no matter what the status between you might be. Fuck, even if I left Aelvern tomorrow and got a divorce, I’d have two EX-brothers-in-laws and they’d still be a type of brother.
None of these men will ever really know what an effect they have on me by existing and taking me into their families. I was an only child and I lost everyone I ever knew in the war. They all had siblings before the war. Some have surviving family today. They have choices, they know what the fuck it means to -be- a brother. Calling me one, hearing it from them, it means something.
((P.S. this secret was from Elarren to Kael'ash. I couldn't find a good RP log snip to use; the picture worked just as well.))