why is this so funny to me IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's a "state of my life" post sitting in my livejournal client right now and like, it's too big for me to not post now so I'm sure you'll all see it eventually but
I'M WATCHING ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK, RIGHT, and there's this whole stalker-courtship thing going on in episode three, which culminates* in a terrible verbal poem that goes:
before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape
but now it look like fire in the sky
why?
because you light a fire inside me
And like the delivery was great and the poem is appropriately ridiculous but as I watched it I was like... that grape metaphor... is extremely familiar... but where could I possibly have read a poem that horrible...
ANYWAY THE ANSWER IS THAT DURING MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, my friends and I were fabricating this really stupid plan to get our other friend to go out with this guy she was friends with who we kind of liked and kind of hated?? (It was high school, I don't know.) The only part of the plan that ever got executed (we were the kinds of girls for whom the making of the operation notebook was much more deserving of attention than any actual operations) was this secret admirer note we threw in her locker to plant the seed. You know where this is going, right? Kind of? The guy was like, super pompous and super ridiculous and obviously it HAD to be a poem if we wanted her to suspect him, but idk even though he was a smart dude we couldn't imagine him writing a good one...
...so during my lunch hour-and-a-half one day I googled "bad love poetry" until I stumbled across this site.
I think the one I paraphrased as Jared was actually the first one, the u turn one ("you turn" hahahahahaha STILL FUNNY) but look at the second one:
Before I met you, the sun looked like a grape.
Now the sun looks like a mass of flames.
Speaking of flames,
Have you felt the heat of the flames
Of my love for you?
JENJI KOHAN AND I HAVE IDENTICAL GOOGLE FU
soulbonded by our "shit I need a bad love poem but I can't think up one on the spot" plagiarism
*actually technically the poem bit is hardly the apex of that storyline and so it doesn't culminate there BUT I REALLY LIKE THE WORD CULMINATE AND I'LL USE YOU HOW I WANT TO USE YOU, ENGLISH LANGUAGE
I'M WATCHING ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK, RIGHT, and there's this whole stalker-courtship thing going on in episode three, which culminates* in a terrible verbal poem that goes:
before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape
but now it look like fire in the sky
why?
because you light a fire inside me
And like the delivery was great and the poem is appropriately ridiculous but as I watched it I was like... that grape metaphor... is extremely familiar... but where could I possibly have read a poem that horrible...
ANYWAY THE ANSWER IS THAT DURING MY JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, my friends and I were fabricating this really stupid plan to get our other friend to go out with this guy she was friends with who we kind of liked and kind of hated?? (It was high school, I don't know.) The only part of the plan that ever got executed (we were the kinds of girls for whom the making of the operation notebook was much more deserving of attention than any actual operations) was this secret admirer note we threw in her locker to plant the seed. You know where this is going, right? Kind of? The guy was like, super pompous and super ridiculous and obviously it HAD to be a poem if we wanted her to suspect him, but idk even though he was a smart dude we couldn't imagine him writing a good one...
...so during my lunch hour-and-a-half one day I googled "bad love poetry" until I stumbled across this site.
I think the one I paraphrased as Jared was actually the first one, the u turn one ("you turn" hahahahahaha STILL FUNNY) but look at the second one:
Before I met you, the sun looked like a grape.
Now the sun looks like a mass of flames.
Speaking of flames,
Have you felt the heat of the flames
Of my love for you?
JENJI KOHAN AND I HAVE IDENTICAL GOOGLE FU
soulbonded by our "shit I need a bad love poem but I can't think up one on the spot" plagiarism
*actually technically the poem bit is hardly the apex of that storyline and so it doesn't culminate there BUT I REALLY LIKE THE WORD CULMINATE AND I'LL USE YOU HOW I WANT TO USE YOU, ENGLISH LANGUAGE