ALSO I HAVE A SPIFFY PINK LAYOUT, WHAT UP.
Hey Chuck,
I'm sure this is all new and weird for you-- you spent two years of your life with Sarah, and the rules were always the same: you'd push and prod and smile and hope some tiny part of her would fall in love with you, she'd almost throw you a bone but take it back at the last second, lather, rinse, repeat. I know it feels the same as it always did: you and Sarah and Casey, off to save the world, with them right behind you every time you fuck it up.
But it's not. The same. Prague changes everything, and you are no longer the aggressor in the relationship. You are no longer allowed to be the aggressor. You hurt her this time. You back off. If you'd just stop thinking about yourself and your feelings for five seconds you would realize how caustic you're being. ALSO CHILDISH AND ASININE. Also, dumb? Do you realize your sudden burning desire to talk about your feelings RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW in the middle of a mission actually endangered Carina's life? You chose the life of a spy because you wanted to help people. You can do that. BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING TRYING, Casey and Sarah can't do all the legwork to make you one, you dumpkiss. Grow up.
Love, Alex
Sarah,
Seriously girl, you should totally go do spy stuff in the Caribbean with Carina. You can even bring Casey! Or not, you can leave him and spy Alex* to whip Chuck into shape. Come back in a couple of years.
Love, Alex
*yeah, I only remember Tricia Helfer's character's name because it's mine.
Dear Josh Schwartz,
I reaaaally really do love you (PERHAPS EVEN MORE THAN USUAL TODAY BECAUSE OF THIS, however fruitless a message that is to send out on twitter), but for a season that is supposed to be big and flashy and fancy, this felt a little same ol' same ol'. But I trust you. This is going somewhere.
Guess what has two thumbs and class at 8am tomorrow? Blarf.