time starts to surpass....
Each and every time, so naive to fall into another trap and another illusion it was going to work out.Everytime you lead on by your words and kisses and touches assuring me you would never cheat or lie to me to hurt me.But you would rather lie than tell the truth; hide than confront how much you hurt me.But at heart thinking he will understand,and this wasn't a waste of time, and try to give him another chance to tell the truth....
You allowed him into your head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's been playing games, he's hiding something, he can't be fully honest with me;he's been with holding info; each time believing his excuses and his comments." I love you, i've never felt this way about any other girl" just because it hurts too much to believe he lied to you and his words meant nothing and these words has been said to other girls.And have my heart broken and hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place and so naive to believe it.
He calls you a "cold heartless bitch", but he doesn't know about those nights of despair just sitting in the aftermath of tears crying to sleep holding a pillow for comfort.Because you dont want to seem weak in his eyes. And the hugs recieved,the long crying sessions and the nights trying to drink away the feeling for being betrayed,abandoned and the heartbreak. For all the nights laying in bed pondering why he did what he did just to hurt me...For all the long therapy sessions and friends reassuring me I can do better, I deserve better, I shouldnt cry for someone too cavalier to have cared. And the hurtful memories and regreting stupidity of the nights we've layed next to each other,believing what we possessed was something special, having only memories to hold onto.Learning never to expect anything more: because in the end the more you let him into your heart, the more it hurts to let go.
Leaving sad song lyrics away messages, trying to make him understand through a subliminally appealing profile, dropping hint after hint how much he's hurt me.Does he know how much i gave up, or how much he meant to me? But did i mean that much to him?
Giving up my pride and self-respect I try to take him back and Give him another chance to make up,thinking their might be something there trying to pick up where we left off. Naive enough to think he's changed, but with each chance he disappoints me. He says he cant stop hurting me.But If you loved me, you would stop to think and step into my shoes and stop doing things that would hurt me. It's not that im weak or i cant walk away,but everytime you lie, you disappoint me and bring me one step closer to defeat until theirs nothing to love and nothing to say.But you ask again and again, was he worth it?
You try to save him, you try to do whats best for both, you try to walk away, you try to move on... But each time he brings you back into this "loop" because in your heart you still love him. No matter how may times he broke your heart, how much you hurt, or how much time you've spent sheding tears of anguish. You still stay...but does he know this?
Or do i catch him a few days,a few,weeks,a few months later.Having another connection with another human being,disposable as the condom they were using during it or the one night stand they shared. Because some cheap slut was flinging herself onto him and he took that chance and gave me up and everything we shared than foster a faithful relationship? Can I look past that when it happens? Can i pretend to be blind and pretend like it didnt happen before or see this coming? Will he continue lying and withholding this from me, when i deserve to know? When he knows it hurts me....but hurts more to have your 'girlfriend' stand by your side knowing nothing. Is this fair?
Does he really love me?
Or is it another loosely used word to him?... Another simple connection like the other girls he's told "i love you" too? Can we skip the re-runs and "sorrys" after each fight? Can he start telling me the truth and stop skipping the rest of the bullshit he decided not to tell? Can he give me a reason to believe your word and promises you made by actually keeping them and give me something to trust him on? Can he show me that i didnt waste my effort trying to make this work out a waste?But most of all can he assure me what you feel and our relationship isnt another lie;can he tell me he's in love with me? And he wouldnt want to be with anyone else but me and our time wasn't a regret or a waste?
He knows whom he is.
My heart will never change, and it will always wonder.. so If you can't do those things above,please tell me now and spare me falling into the same pattern, and let me walk and move on...you at least owe me that if you still love or ever loved me like you said you did.
You allowed him into your head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's been playing games, he's hiding something, he can't be fully honest with me;he's been with holding info; each time believing his excuses and his comments." I love you, i've never felt this way about any other girl" just because it hurts too much to believe he lied to you and his words meant nothing and these words has been said to other girls.And have my heart broken and hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place and so naive to believe it.
He calls you a "cold heartless bitch", but he doesn't know about those nights of despair just sitting in the aftermath of tears crying to sleep holding a pillow for comfort.Because you dont want to seem weak in his eyes. And the hugs recieved,the long crying sessions and the nights trying to drink away the feeling for being betrayed,abandoned and the heartbreak. For all the nights laying in bed pondering why he did what he did just to hurt me...For all the long therapy sessions and friends reassuring me I can do better, I deserve better, I shouldnt cry for someone too cavalier to have cared. And the hurtful memories and regreting stupidity of the nights we've layed next to each other,believing what we possessed was something special, having only memories to hold onto.Learning never to expect anything more: because in the end the more you let him into your heart, the more it hurts to let go.
Leaving sad song lyrics away messages, trying to make him understand through a subliminally appealing profile, dropping hint after hint how much he's hurt me.Does he know how much i gave up, or how much he meant to me? But did i mean that much to him?
Giving up my pride and self-respect I try to take him back and Give him another chance to make up,thinking their might be something there trying to pick up where we left off. Naive enough to think he's changed, but with each chance he disappoints me. He says he cant stop hurting me.But If you loved me, you would stop to think and step into my shoes and stop doing things that would hurt me. It's not that im weak or i cant walk away,but everytime you lie, you disappoint me and bring me one step closer to defeat until theirs nothing to love and nothing to say.But you ask again and again, was he worth it?
You try to save him, you try to do whats best for both, you try to walk away, you try to move on... But each time he brings you back into this "loop" because in your heart you still love him. No matter how may times he broke your heart, how much you hurt, or how much time you've spent sheding tears of anguish. You still stay...but does he know this?
Or do i catch him a few days,a few,weeks,a few months later.Having another connection with another human being,disposable as the condom they were using during it or the one night stand they shared. Because some cheap slut was flinging herself onto him and he took that chance and gave me up and everything we shared than foster a faithful relationship? Can I look past that when it happens? Can i pretend to be blind and pretend like it didnt happen before or see this coming? Will he continue lying and withholding this from me, when i deserve to know? When he knows it hurts me....but hurts more to have your 'girlfriend' stand by your side knowing nothing. Is this fair?
Does he really love me?
Or is it another loosely used word to him?... Another simple connection like the other girls he's told "i love you" too? Can we skip the re-runs and "sorrys" after each fight? Can he start telling me the truth and stop skipping the rest of the bullshit he decided not to tell? Can he give me a reason to believe your word and promises you made by actually keeping them and give me something to trust him on? Can he show me that i didnt waste my effort trying to make this work out a waste?But most of all can he assure me what you feel and our relationship isnt another lie;can he tell me he's in love with me? And he wouldnt want to be with anyone else but me and our time wasn't a regret or a waste?
He knows whom he is.
My heart will never change, and it will always wonder.. so If you can't do those things above,please tell me now and spare me falling into the same pattern, and let me walk and move on...you at least owe me that if you still love or ever loved me like you said you did.