Freaking awesome title subject thing
We were talking about something in church on Sunday and it struck me as something I should remember.
And I arose in the night, I and a few men with me. I did not tell anyone what my God was putting into my mind to do for Jerusalem - Nehemiah 2:12
I think that part of my problem with life is that there are things on my heart... perhaps placed there by God, or perhaps not (who can say) ... but its just that I'm not sure I'm living for something. Does that make sense? Nehemiah had things on his heart... for Jerusalem. I personally think that whether they were from God or not is irrelevant. The point is that it wasn't all about himself. There was nothing for himself to gain in doing the things he did. At least not that I have read so far... perhaps there was something down the road... the question is whether or not he knew it was coming? Or maybe he was just tired of being the kings winetaster?
I struggle a lot with the whole rewards system of the bible. We're not saved by being good, or good works, but those things will get us good things in the afterlife if they're of the right heart. Well are they of the right heart? Who can say? I walked with a drunkman last night until CSP came to take him to the drunk tank... what if I had just left him with the other stranger that came upon him at the same time? What if I wouldn't have walked him around to warm him up if that stranger hadn't have been there? Because I would have. I was seriously thinking about leaving the drunk lying in the snow until CSP arrived and just watched him to make sure he didn't choke or die. Will I get an extra crown for being there? And do I care about said crown?
One of my residents in the apartment building had an interesting conversation with me the other day. I was convinced the man was a angel,prophet, messenger of God when I first met him... he inspired me more than a little (although I don't really have faith in modern appearances of any of these). However, now I find that he doesn't believe in sin... "it doesn't exist since the cross and the blood. Now there is only love for the true believer....religious people are going to hell. The bible isn't all true, but I can quote specific verses because God has told me personally that certain things are true. We need to just love one another and stop hating."
I dunno. I guess I was hoping to find someone who believed as I do...and still was motivated truly by that belief. And so I'm disappointed to find that he's not all I thought him to be.
I'm looking for assurance, I suppose, that if I give up my life... that I truly will find it.
That's my most difficult step of faith for the moment.
Any -ho
I got into all my spring classes. Nothing before 1pm. Nice eh? And I will probably still work as a tutor... which is going ok. Its a job. Ok, gotta run. Peace - Eric
And I arose in the night, I and a few men with me. I did not tell anyone what my God was putting into my mind to do for Jerusalem - Nehemiah 2:12
I think that part of my problem with life is that there are things on my heart... perhaps placed there by God, or perhaps not (who can say) ... but its just that I'm not sure I'm living for something. Does that make sense? Nehemiah had things on his heart... for Jerusalem. I personally think that whether they were from God or not is irrelevant. The point is that it wasn't all about himself. There was nothing for himself to gain in doing the things he did. At least not that I have read so far... perhaps there was something down the road... the question is whether or not he knew it was coming? Or maybe he was just tired of being the kings winetaster?
I struggle a lot with the whole rewards system of the bible. We're not saved by being good, or good works, but those things will get us good things in the afterlife if they're of the right heart. Well are they of the right heart? Who can say? I walked with a drunkman last night until CSP came to take him to the drunk tank... what if I had just left him with the other stranger that came upon him at the same time? What if I wouldn't have walked him around to warm him up if that stranger hadn't have been there? Because I would have. I was seriously thinking about leaving the drunk lying in the snow until CSP arrived and just watched him to make sure he didn't choke or die. Will I get an extra crown for being there? And do I care about said crown?
One of my residents in the apartment building had an interesting conversation with me the other day. I was convinced the man was a angel,prophet, messenger of God when I first met him... he inspired me more than a little (although I don't really have faith in modern appearances of any of these). However, now I find that he doesn't believe in sin... "it doesn't exist since the cross and the blood. Now there is only love for the true believer....religious people are going to hell. The bible isn't all true, but I can quote specific verses because God has told me personally that certain things are true. We need to just love one another and stop hating."
I dunno. I guess I was hoping to find someone who believed as I do...and still was motivated truly by that belief. And so I'm disappointed to find that he's not all I thought him to be.
I'm looking for assurance, I suppose, that if I give up my life... that I truly will find it.
That's my most difficult step of faith for the moment.
Any -ho
I got into all my spring classes. Nothing before 1pm. Nice eh? And I will probably still work as a tutor... which is going ok. Its a job. Ok, gotta run. Peace - Eric