(morning writing, adhd, cooking)
Brisk but lovely morning on the back deck in the moonlight and the dawn sky.
Cooking joys yesterday -- enjoying the pest i'd made earlier in the week on eggs and a caprese sandwich. Making a green pepper paste with tiny peppers, onions, cilantro, basil, and parsley from the garden. Roasting and peeling the poblanos. Using poblano peel and ginger peel in making a soup broth for the week's lunches. Also, onion, carrots, seaweed, and a final add of a can of corn. For dinner i baked the bulb of a butternut squash with ricotta filling.
Gardening yesterday included taking rootstock sprouts from an apple tree and some low hanging elderberry branches and shoving them into the compost pile that's being retired for this winter.
--== ∞ ==--
Significant realization yesterday. I have been wrestling with procrastination all my life. Lately, i sense i am working harder than ever at work (with a worry that i am exhausted because i am getting older but ... really 56 is older enough to be noticing that?) .
Earlier last week sister L had bemoaned nothing had gotten done that day, then with prompting, she's spent hours sorting out a health insurance mess. Well, that's clearly both an important and urgent thing to be working on. I cheered her from the sidelines.
Saturday i went out the door planning to weed, but saw the rescued moss and stones, and the bare earth where i had prepped for the trenching, so i built better stone steps than were there before (more stones and good fill dirt available), and transplanted most of the moss.
But later i had a crash -- no spoons to go weed or rake after that, and the negative self talk spiraled. I ran away to a book.
Yesterday i was explaining to Christine, and she asked if this depression and spiraling was ADHD. Not directly, no, but ADHD related. The ADHD part is all the years of training to have lists, prioritize lists, do the things on the list and the signal that if you weren't doing the things on the list you were being flaky, distracted, bad.
But i can recognize that just because things aren't on the list, they are important. I'm not procrastinating or being distracted.
I think, with this realization, (which i knew, see cheerleading my sister), i can start pushing back against my brain by pointing out it's acting like a manage to metrics monkey that's not paying attention to the real landscape.
post-tags: morning writing, adhd, cooking
Cooking joys yesterday -- enjoying the pest i'd made earlier in the week on eggs and a caprese sandwich. Making a green pepper paste with tiny peppers, onions, cilantro, basil, and parsley from the garden. Roasting and peeling the poblanos. Using poblano peel and ginger peel in making a soup broth for the week's lunches. Also, onion, carrots, seaweed, and a final add of a can of corn. For dinner i baked the bulb of a butternut squash with ricotta filling.
Gardening yesterday included taking rootstock sprouts from an apple tree and some low hanging elderberry branches and shoving them into the compost pile that's being retired for this winter.
--== ∞ ==--
Significant realization yesterday. I have been wrestling with procrastination all my life. Lately, i sense i am working harder than ever at work (with a worry that i am exhausted because i am getting older but ... really 56 is older enough to be noticing that?) .
Earlier last week sister L had bemoaned nothing had gotten done that day, then with prompting, she's spent hours sorting out a health insurance mess. Well, that's clearly both an important and urgent thing to be working on. I cheered her from the sidelines.
Saturday i went out the door planning to weed, but saw the rescued moss and stones, and the bare earth where i had prepped for the trenching, so i built better stone steps than were there before (more stones and good fill dirt available), and transplanted most of the moss.
But later i had a crash -- no spoons to go weed or rake after that, and the negative self talk spiraled. I ran away to a book.
Yesterday i was explaining to Christine, and she asked if this depression and spiraling was ADHD. Not directly, no, but ADHD related. The ADHD part is all the years of training to have lists, prioritize lists, do the things on the list and the signal that if you weren't doing the things on the list you were being flaky, distracted, bad.
But i can recognize that just because things aren't on the list, they are important. I'm not procrastinating or being distracted.
I think, with this realization, (which i knew, see cheerleading my sister), i can start pushing back against my brain by pointing out it's acting like a manage to metrics monkey that's not paying attention to the real landscape.
post-tags: morning writing, adhd, cooking