Of Confessions
To confess. To admit. To reveal.
It's easier to say these words, than to be done.
It's really hard to confess. I remember my grade school days, those times when me and my girlfriends would do sleepovers and ask each other who our crushes are. I recall they had to turn me upside-down before they can extract who my crush is. (Thinking about it now, it's no big thingy at all, hahah!). I remember when I was in high school, I dreaded the days when we have to do confessions to the priest. And during my college days, I recall how it's hard for me to tell my parents where I've really been. >:)
Hmmm...what I'm trying to mean is it's really hard to tell the truth, to divulge what we actually think or to reveal what we truly feel. Because there are so many risks, the consequences are unknown.
I really admire those people who contain a brave heart, those who shamelessly face the whole truth and valiantly take the path of the unknown.
Me? I think I was born naturally coward. I'd rather be on the safe side. I'd rather conceal or hide from the truth than be led outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes, I have so many excuses. But there are also times, when I think running from the truth is just the best way.
I've been thinking about all of these for some time now. So so strucked was I when I read the Church's verse of the month. It says...
"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever
confesses and renounces finds mercy" - Proverbs 28:13
The verse just hit me because it is true. I'm not talking about 'sin' part but I'm zeroing on the feeling after (the act confessing or after being confessed to). Don't you feel feel relieved when you tell the whole truth? Or when a person revealed a secret to you, don't you feel compassion for that person?
Right now, I long for that relief. I want to be kind. I dunno. But everything about this, it's tough.