(no subject)
A few nights ago Yaron and I went to the Molly's. Dana was there and was plump and lively and charming as usual. She asked me how I'm doing, and I said that I am keeping my life hectic, because if I ever have a minute to stop and think I would notice that I'm too old to do anything notable and that my life has been a failure.
I said that because I thought it was witty in a self-deprecating way, but the instant my lips finished forming the words I felt the bad taste of truth in my mouth. It was bitter and stuffy, like an old brown coat that I once ate.
But that isn't the subject of this post, because just like you, I am sick to my stomach of whiny posts. I can see it clearly now, how we all creep around like disgusting spineless insects, too afraid to be what we are and too afraid to stop.
Slowly, inch by inch, I am starting to understand my way. True, I wish I had this understanding when I was 15, so that I wouldn't have to waste all this time whining about opportunities that I missed, departed lovers that I suffocated with affection, departed lovers that I turned out with indifference, courses that I failed, paychecks that I didn't get, and every drop of semen that ever dehydrated on a paper towel in a cheap hotel room on the other side of the world.
We only get one chance, you whiners, slackers, over-analyzers, geeks, dweebs, nerds and sluts. I am going to leave you all behind and never look back. I can see the way spread out before me. I can smell it.
I just wish I had the courage to walk it.
I said that because I thought it was witty in a self-deprecating way, but the instant my lips finished forming the words I felt the bad taste of truth in my mouth. It was bitter and stuffy, like an old brown coat that I once ate.
But that isn't the subject of this post, because just like you, I am sick to my stomach of whiny posts. I can see it clearly now, how we all creep around like disgusting spineless insects, too afraid to be what we are and too afraid to stop.
Slowly, inch by inch, I am starting to understand my way. True, I wish I had this understanding when I was 15, so that I wouldn't have to waste all this time whining about opportunities that I missed, departed lovers that I suffocated with affection, departed lovers that I turned out with indifference, courses that I failed, paychecks that I didn't get, and every drop of semen that ever dehydrated on a paper towel in a cheap hotel room on the other side of the world.
We only get one chance, you whiners, slackers, over-analyzers, geeks, dweebs, nerds and sluts. I am going to leave you all behind and never look back. I can see the way spread out before me. I can smell it.
I just wish I had the courage to walk it.