I am a waste but its ok i think you are too.

[el_to_the_n]

I think today was a funny day
i kindof drifted through all my classes
and was somewhat misrable
theres somthing keeping me going
and i cant put my finger on what it is.
tennis was a pain in the ass
i am sick of losing
wow
i went for a walk tonite
i thought a lot
about what i wanted to write
but now i forgot
somthing along the lines of being suprised.
im suprised by how many times other
people have felt the way that i do now.
it makes me feel fake.
am i not real anymore.
am i not myself.
although so much has changed
i dont feel diffrent
and im not sure if i want to
i walked
on the beach
for about two hours.
it was a good walk
once again i felt fake
walking by the water
looking at the same sky as
everybody else
usually stuff like that
would make me feel whole
make me feel real
real good about myself
feel good about who i am
and where i am
made me think
i want something untouched.
somthing pure ane unchartered
i want to explore and see things
i want to see and expierence
things that other people have not
i dont want to walk on the same roads
same beach
same world as everyone else
as everyone else has for years.
i want somthing new.
somthing pure and REAL
The beach is a deceptive place
it has always been a safe
open place
not this time.
i feel betrayed